Monday, October 11, 2010

My son told me last week that he wants to get his hair cornrowed. I immediately shot him down, and told him that I didn't like that style, and I preferred a clean cut look for him at age 13. He got really quiet and he told me was upset, so I asked him to defend his decision to wear his hair like that, and he stayed quiet and said he wanted to get off the phone. I told him that regardless of what I say or think, he should always at least defend his side, but again, he was crestfallen and said nothing. I could hear his anger over the phone, but I'm glad he chose to restrain himself to some degree.

I hate cornrows with a passion. They look dirty, and I prefer the clean cut look, but that's just me. I know plenty of people who disagree with me, and that's fine, they can let their son's wear them, I don't like them for my son. As far I'm concerned the father/son relationship is not a democracy, its very much a dictatorships with few exceptions. But again that only works if both parents are on the same page...unfortunately, I have no such arrangement..

My son's mother called me about 10 minutes later, and told me that my son was old enough to make his own hair decisions (I vehemently disagree), and since he didn't live under my roof, the decision was not mine to make. So this Saturday, when my son and I hang out and attend a Hampton University football game, he will be rocking the cornrows and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it..although I thought about taking away his phone or calling lots of attention to his hair, in hopes that he'll feel bad and cut them off. But I've been told that's not right, but still...

Oh and by the way..I get married two months from today..And yes I am getting more and more excited (that's what she said).

We Gon' Make It - Jadakiss

4 comments:

Jazzbrew said...

Just a quick note that I am completely in your camp regarding cornrows. I also agree that taking away the phone and calling a lot of attention to his hair probably isn't the way to go - although it would most likely work. LOL

mrstdj said...

Ugh! I'm in agreement over the cornrows. Sorry that his mom isn't on the same page. My son is almost two and I dread that this conversation might one day occur in my house.

Raydiance said...

I disagree. It's just hair, and he is 13. It's normal for him to experiment with his appearance as he tries to form his identity. It won't even last long. Next month it will be something different. I think you were right to request that he defend his decision, and you should let him know why you don't like cornrows (hate them too...). It was also a teachable moment about not just following the crowd (I bet his friends have cornrows). You could even make him do a research paper about controversy over black hairstyles in the workplace in order to "earn" the right to wear them (that alone would deter most kids), but I feel he should be able to express himself within reason.

3chicspolitico.com said...

Sage advice: Ignore the cornrows. His desires for trends will come and go. Once its established he can go with it. let it roll.