Tuesday, April 12, 2011

So last Friday while my son was en route to Washington DC by train, he gave me a call. He wanted to let me know that his train was running late, and he would not be in until 10pm, instead of the scheduled 8:58 time (he actually ended up getting in around 11pm instead). I called his mother to let her know this, and during that conversation she all but foiled my plans to cut his hair.

She said that I better not cut his hair, because her and my son had agreed that he was old enough to determine his own hairstyle and I had no right to just come and do what I wanted just because I didn't like it. Mind you, I had not even mentioned that I was going to cut his hair yet, but she knows I think cornrows are the cousin of death, so I suppose she had to preemptively cut me off..no pun intended. I tried to explain my case, but then I just shut up. If my son lived with me full-time and then he went to stay with his mother for a weekend and she tried to switch something up, I would absolutely hit the roof. But I did tell his mother that if my son's grades did not improve, I would overrule her little bullshit agreement, and she agreed that was fair.

So the next morning after my son was rested from his long night of Amtrak travelling, we had a talk. First I got in his ass for not reading during his spring break the way I had asked him to. Actually I almost cut his hair off because of that alone, but I relaxed. Then I laid out an agreement by which he could keep his hair and he had to sign off on it. I told him that by the next time I see him (which will be April 29th) for the Penn Relays, he had to have all A's and B's except for Math, where I told him a high C would suffice for now. His teacher told me that even with a C, my son has the highest Math grade, and that the kids are struggling to lead Algebra (which is an indictment of the teacher if you ask me, but nobody did). My son actually did have a short-lived low B at one point, but he lost it quickly. I digress.

I told my son if he did not have the grades I wanted by April 29th, I'd cut his hair off, and he'd be going to the Penn Relays with a low cut. He agreed. I then told him that next test would be at the end of the school year, and if his grades weren't what I wanted, I'd cut his hair, and again he agreed. And finally I told him that regardless of what his grades were, by the time he starts big bad high school in August of this year, that hair is coming off, because it would be time to grow up and begin that official march to college.. Again he agreed, we shook on it, I wrote it up, and he will sign off on it electronically this week which means its a binding contract. I told his mother about it, and she's on board.

Best case scenario for me? He gets off to a painfully slow start during this last quarter, and he has straight C's by April 29th. Then I cut that bullshit out of his hair, we have a beautiful time watching track and field at the Penn Relays, and then he goes back to school with renewed focus, and he gets straight A's until the school year is over. That is a little something I like to call a win-win.


Jazzbrew said...

I am expecting my first child (a boy) in September. You can best believe I am taking notes on how you are handling things. Well done sir.

rashad said...

Wow, you just dropped a bombshell sir. Congrats to you and yours! All I ask is that you a)make sure that kid loves jazz and b)don't let him get cornrows!

Jazzbrew said...

Thanks my man. It was a bombshell to me too but I'm really happy. Had the first ultrasound last week. Amazing stuff.

With regards to your requests - consider it done!

Nina said...

perfect. i totally agree with your methodology as well. now if only you could help me with my bossy 2 yr. old. there is absolutely NO reasoning with her.

rashad said...

My parental powers are nullfied when it comes to girls..I am so sorry..

a. o. mcclyde said...

i had no idea hair bothered you that much. lol! my locs and i are slightly offended, sir.

rashad said...

mr mcclyde,
I love locs, twists, afros and all that..in fact some of my best friends rock those hairstyles. But cornrows? I simply cant stand..