Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Chris Rock has a joke that basically says that when a man (although I'm sure its not sex specific) comes home from work, he needs about 10-15 minutes to get his head together, before he's ready to talk to his wife, his girlfriend, family, etc. This rule does not really apply to me because my walk back and forth to work is about 20 minutes, so by the time I get home, I've worked out any work-related angst that may have lingered beyond my 5:30 dismissal time. And even when I haven't, a stiff shot of Johnnie Walker Black is more than sufficient to knock out the rest. That's just how I rolls...

But when I get to work in the morning, the "Chris Rock rule" is definitely in effect. I need about 10 minutes before I can speak--unless their is an emergency project that needs tending to. I'll say good morning to everyone, and then I need to get to my desk, turn on my computer, look at my emails, put my lunch in the fridge, get my fruit out and sip my Venti Soy Green Tea Latte from Starbucks. After I do that, I'm ready to be friendly and as chatty as Ann Curry in the morning.

Unfortunately, I work with someone who does not respect these unofficial boundaries I've put out there. Less than two minutes after this person sees me walk by, they are at my desk and in my face talking about trivial sh*t (Bin Laden's capture, the government shutdown, a shooting at the National Zoo, etc). It is not as if I don't have an intelligent viewpoint or opinion about these issues, I just don't have them to offer at 8 in the f**king morning, when I'm just getting to work. At first I humored this person and talked a bit, but recently, I've just started executing the neglect method, and I just don't look up. This person still talks to me from time to time, but I don't return the favor, I just keep my head forward and focused on the computer screen. Then after I am sufficiently finished getting my head together, I go to the this person's desk and see if there's any residual conversation to be had, and usually there isn't. Crisis averted.

And yes I realize I'm using phrases like "this person" and "someone", but I have to protect myself here. I've made many enemies because people want to use google my name just to be generally nosy, and then they roll up on this here blog, and start judging me (justifably so I might add). For example, my neighbor STILL doesn't speak to me after she saw my blog (she magically appeared in my gchat list one day a group of my neighbors had a spirited email exchange about our landlord, and saw my blog attached to my name), and saw that I had falsely accused her of being a lesbian (I'm still not convinced I'm wrong, but I'll wave the white flag regardless). She speaks to my wife, but when she sees me, she looks at me like I stole her bike or something. I thought about apologizing, but then I realized that its my f**king blog and I can do what I want..I still may apologize one day though, because I'm trying to keep my enemies to a minimum. But I digress. Sorry for the babbling.

And now I will post a random song that came on my ipod that I absolutely LOVE. The song is called "What Can I Do?", the group is Pieces of a Dream, and both the video and the song have late 80s written all over it.


Jazzbrew said...

Man... I am with you 100%. The worst though is the early morning meeting. Some folks want to meet FIRST thing in the morning and I try to avoid that whenever possible.

£ said...

SAMESIES! i soooo love that song too. lol.

have you seen his face lately tho? smh. :(

rashad said...

I googled him not too long after I posted this video..its definitely a Michael Jackson/Lil Kim situation