Thursday, June 02, 2011

When I was an infant my mother used to sing Minnie Riperton's "Lovin You" to me so that I would go to sleep. I have no recollection of this, but my mother and father used to tell me that all the time, so it had to be true. When I was younger (I'd say under 25) I would hear that song and smile, because it reminded me of my mother and the close relationship we had (before I hit puberty, and abandoned her for my father). Granted, not all the lyrics are appropriate for a mother/infant son relationship, but I'm going to give my smart mother the benefit of the doubt there, and assume she switched up or omitted the dicey lyrics.

Then around 25 years old or I couldn't listen to the song anymore. Me and my over analytical mind started thinking about how I'd react if I heard that song after my mother passed away--the song would go from sweet and nostalgic to downright creepy and haunting. I'd hear that song and get emotional in the wrong way, and nobody wants that on their conscience. I have no idea if that would even actually happen, but my mind has convinced the other rational parts of my body that it will, so now I refuse to listen to the song. Just a few short minutes ago as I was sitting at my desk, it came on Pandora, and I couldn't get my hands on the "never play this song again" button fast enough. And right after I did it, I felt like a jackass..but I'm still not listening to that damn song. I'm not superstitious or anything, but I am a little stitious.

The song that will haunt me when my father passes away is "Sittin On the Dock Of The Bay" by Otis Redding. My father told me that song reminds him of his dad who passed away in 1978 at the age of 50. So naturally I internalized that and think of my dad now. These are just irrational lines of thought that I can't seem to shake...hopefully this isn't too morbid for a Thursday morning.

Creepin - Stevie Wonder (with the beautiful Ms. Minnie Riperton on background vocals)


Janelle said...

My mother's lullaby for me was Mon Cherie Amore by Stevie Wonder. However, I can still listen to that song and smile. I don't even want to think about how this song will make me feel when my mom isn't here anymore. I hope that it will make me smile. Like its her way of letting me know she's still with me.

And funny, Sitting By the Dock of the Bay is the song I associate with my father also. He sang it with his band once when I was visiting one summer as a kid and its embedded in my brain as "his" song.

Jazzbrew said...

Count me as yet another who associates "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" with their father. He loves Otis Redding and this song most of all. I listen to it all the time.

I totally dig where you're coming from with your Mom though. I find my mind going there from time to time even though she is healthy and doing well. It's strange and annoying as hell but like you - I can't shake it.