Thursday, September 15, 2011

First off, let me shout out my landlord who typed the sentence, "I conquer with Rashad", instead of saying "I concur". And secondly let me send a hello the the man who used the word "affidavis", instead of saying "affidavit". I need those laughs to get me through some days.

Anyway, I had to do a presentation for my job yesterday, which required me to speak in front of about 50 people, and in the few days leading up to it I was absolutely terrified. Just a few years ago, I had a job with HUD that required me speak in front of 200-500 people at least twice a month, and although I would be nervous as hell every time, I started to accomplish these tasks with relative ease. I used to both teach and substitute teach, and that required me to get in front of kids, and I never got nervous for them because a)they are f**king kids and b)they were depending on me in a way adults never really do. I felt like there was no room to be nervous, because I had to deliver in a major way.

I actually had to deliver in a major way during yesterday's presentation as well, but the nerves were strong. I had to speak in front of colleagues, paralegals, attorneys, bosses and their bosses. I woke up at 3am before my speech, and I practiced countless times, and I would get nervous, I'd start shaking, and I'd get the foam (an old Cosby show joke). Every time I practiced, I would present my information in a different way, or I would leave a bullet point off of the notes I'd prepared for my PowerPoint presentation, or I would just flat out skip over something thinking that I'd get it right when the time counted. I know people say that you only get nervous when you're not prepared, but that's bullshit. You get nervous when you are taken out of your comfort zone for whatever reason, and I was going to be violently ripped from mine once that speech was to begin.

Well the speech began and I was nervous, sweating like a black man at a white woman's funeral, and I wasn't speaking as loudly as I would have liked (luckily I had prepared for this occasion, and I asked the guy who was in charge of the training room to mic me up just in case. When someone said they couldn't hear me, I mic'd myself up, and I was ready to roll baby). After awhile my ego kicked in, and I realized that I was in front of these people for a reason, and there was a job to be done. I did my little 10-15 minutes worth of a presentation, I fielded questions, I cracked jokes, I spotted dimes and I ate onions.

So I say all that to say, now that I'm done with that, I can get back to writing now, without that damn presentation hanging over my head like that black cloud that followed Nas.


Jazzbrew said...

Welcome back bruh. I missed your daily dose of thoughts.

£ said...

Congrats on a job well done (and kudos for the seinfeld reference) there's a reason public speaking is the number two fear behind death. It's terrifying. In my experience it's the people with the most nerves and apprehension who do the best job. I'm a pretty good speaker but id be lying if I said i didn't experience bouts of nausea, staccato heartbeats and occasional dizziness when facing the prospect of speaking in front of a group. "They" say to imagine your audience naked, but that's never worked for me. lol.

Love the music choice btw. That was my bro's fave song when he was a wee lad and my parents bought it because he liked it so much. On vinyl. A 45 single. I suddenly feel very old.

Tiffany said...

Glad you go through it. I am a terrible speaker. Goes back to elementary school. I passed out once.

Peace, Love and Chocolate,