So I took the train to work this morning, because a)I got about 2 hours of sleep thanks to my lovely, sexy, pregnant and snoring wife, and b)it was raining, and I didn't feel like coming to work wet. The train was quiet, everyone kept to themselves, and when my stop came I got off the train and headed towards the escalator.

The escalator was broken which is par for the course for the DC Metro system, so I had to walk up about 20-25 stairs or so. Usually when the escalators are broken, they tell the people who are walking up to stay to the right, so that the anyone coming down can do so on the opposite side. It is a great system when it works..however on this day, I decided to do something different. I peeked to see if anyone was coming down, and they were not, so I decided to walk with alacrity, skip steps, and make my way to the top before interfering with passengers going down.

I made it to the top, but I heard an older gentleman behind me mumble something in my direction, so I removed my headphones and then the magic began:

Me: Excuse me sir, I didn't hear you?
Him: This is a two way escalator so you aren't supposed to do what you just did
Me: No one was coming sir
Him: Still, this is a two way escalator, you should follow the rules instead of doing what you want

**sidebar on** At this point, I really wanted to steal this old man in the jaw and watch him fall backwards down the same escalator he was defending like the American flag. But I have common sense and a scintilla of restraint, so I relaxed.**sidebar off**

Me: Sir if someone had come down, I'd have gladly gotten out of the way, but no one came, I made it to the top, and no one got hurt, except for your feelings, and you'll get over that by the time you get to work I'm sure
Him: I'm sure I will

I put my headphones back on, and he walked up ahead of me, and I figured it was over. But five minutes later we were at a crosswalk that had the "do not walk sign" up, but since there were no cars coming, this same follow-the-train-escalator-rules guy, ran across the street. He barely dodged a car, he almost dropped his briefcase trying to run, and his glasses almost fell off--and he did all of this just to get in a crowded line in Starbucks. I know this because yours truly sidled right behind him in line. So I talked to him..

Me: I'd say we're even now my jaywalking friend
Him (laughing with that I-drink-coffee-and-smoke-cigarettes laugh): Touche' my friend, touche'

When it came time to pay for his coffee, he was taking way too long to get his money out of his wallet, so I paid for his coffee (it was only two dollars and change) and my Green Tea Latte (much more than that). He patted me on the back and said thanks, I said don't mention it and I asked him to follow the rules, and then I left out (on a high note I might add).

So yeah I won this one.