Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I realize these self-congratulatory stories about the amount of restraint I've shown in any given situation is a bit annoying. But a)I was once in therapy for my anger, so these are continual success stories and b)What the hell else am I supposed to write about? Anyway..

As I've probably mentioned before, the wife and I get our groceries delivered. She doesn't mind the grocery store, but she doesn't always have time to get there during the week or the weekend. I can't stand going in the grocery store and waiting in line, and the delivery route is just so damn convenient. You can finalize your grocery list online one night, and BAM, your food is there the next morning. Plus, I can still get my fruits and veggies at the farmer's market down the street. Win-Win.

So on Sunday night I ordered groceries and scheduled my delivery between 6 and 7pm. My wife usually gets home at 5:30, so the 5 to 6 window was too risky. And it just so happened on this night, the wife had to pick up our wedding pictures (and if you come over to our house we will SO have a big production around showing you the pics and making you comment whether you want to or not--that's how we get down)so she was also scheduled to get home around 6, so I knew we were covered.

Now mind you, the wife and I usually order groceries via Peapod but every now and then I switch it up and use Safeway, which is what I did yesterday. Peapod has less selection, but they are cheaper and always on time. Safeway has much more of a selection but they are NEVER on time..I mean sometimes they are up to an hour late, but I rarely complain. I went with Safeway this time.

So around 5:45, as I'm on my way home, I get a call from the Safeway delivery guy telling me he's out in front of my house. I checked the time on my cellphone, and then I kindly informed him that I was still en route, but I'd check to see where my wife was. He loudly sucked his teeth in my ear, and hung up without reacting to what I said, but I let it slide. I called my wife and she wasn't close, so I called the dude back and informed him that I'd be there by 6pm--which is the damn time I chose. The following phone conversation went down:

Me: My wife isn't home, but I'll be there by 6pm, I'm 3 minutes away
Him: 3 minutes away huh?
Me: Yeah 3 minutes
Him: I'm going to have to hold you to that man, I have other deliveries to make
Me (wanting him to repeat that dumb shit again): Say it again?
Him: I gotta hold you to that, I got other deliveries this evening

I hung up the phone at this point because I didn't want to say anything mean to the guy who had my food in his hands, plus I was close enough to see him in front of my house. When I got there, he didn't say hello, he just shook his head repeatedly, slammed my bags of food all over the place, didn't acknowledge my wife who walked in behind him, even after it was CLEAR she and I knew each other, then he shoved the pen and the paper in my face for me to sign the receipt. And even then he had this scowl on his face and he was STILL shaking his head like he was just so damn annoyed.

I wanted to ask him if there was a problem, I wanted to yank his locs and slam his head into the door, and I wanted to ask him to carry my groceries up to my apartment like I usually do. Instead I used restraint, signed for my groceries, said thank you and went up to my apt with my smiling wife. Still, how are you gonna be 10-15 minutes early AND demanding, when I have clearly paid for a delivery at a certain allotted time. Either you call and wait until 6, or politely ask me how close I am, but you can't get indignant and impatient, because you're early and can't tell time...or am I wrong here?

By the way, this song has nothing to do with what I've written, I just can't get it out of my head--and yes I realize Dolly's cameltoe is on full blast, but that's not why I'm posting this..


Jamal said...

I would of ask him to bring the groceries upstairs anyway out of spite.

maxwellsmusze said...

yeah, that's your brother. thinking of spiteful things @ 7am. Never too early! LOL!

Jazzbrew said...

BIG time restraint my man. There is NO way I would have kept my mouth shut on that one. NO way. I was getting pissed off reading it. I'm mad now. I'm proud of you.

I really do need that therapy you were talking about. Especially with all the life changes I've been through this past few years.