Thursday, February 16, 2012

My grandfather's funeral is going to be Saturday at 2pm, and I did not find this out until yesterday, which meant a plane ticket was out--unless of course I was willing to drop $400. Luckily for me, my uncle (who lives in Northern Virginia) wanted some help driving, so we will take that 5-hour drive tomorrow after work. We haven't really hung out (not for 10 hours anyway) in a long time, so it'll be good to catch up and discuss our families. Not to mention, he's a big Ice Cube fan, so I fully expect for him to play as much Cube as he can:

1)Amerikka's Most Wanted
2)Kill at Will
3)Death Certificate
4)The Predator
5)Lethal Injection

And that's it. Cube has had a good song or two since then, but none of his albums have been worth purchasing. It is difficult (but not impossible) to be an effective gangster when you have a wife and kids. Thank God he can still act..but I digress.

I don't like to say I hate funerals, because I think that's a universal position to have. The wake creeps me out, especially if they leave the casket open throughout the sermon. You see family members for the first time in years, and come to realization that you probably won't see them again unless there's another death or a wedding. And then I'll have to manufacture some outward sadness, so the people who are really sad won't judge me--and yes this has happened before.

I did my grieving in my kitchen last Sunday with my wife, and then I straightened up because my son needed to be fed, and my wife needed a break. I have had fleeting moments of nostalgia-tinged sadness, but for the most part I've kept my wits about me. I need to be strong for my mother and grandmother (and others) and that can't happen if I'm crying and falling all over myself.

**Disclaimer** I know this next part is selfish, but I'm being honest, so suck it.**Disclaimer over**

As strong as I need to be for my family, I REALLY would rather stay home in DC, and take advantage of this relatively mild weather and take two-month old Nyles out. Yes I'll have plenty of time to do that this Spring, but I'm impatient and I wanted to do it this weekend--and perhaps I still can when I return..still..Ok enough of that.

It is going to be a fun and trying weekend, I think I'm just trying to prepare myself by talking it out. Thank you for humoring me.

No comments: