I got married five years ago today at 3pm on South Beach in Miami, Florida. In attendance on that glorious day were me, my wife, a minister, and my friend Janelle, who recorded the entire thing. About five minutes after the ceremony was over, we were joined by cheerleaders who were practicing on the beach, and some people jogging by who were nice enough to speak and yell their congrats. It wasn't big, it wasn't extragvant or expensive, it was just us. My wife, Janelle and I went drinking afterwards, then my wife and I kept right on drinking until the next morning when we went Jamaica for the honeymoon. We were supposed to go to the Dominican Republic, but they had a cholera outbreak, and neither one of us wanted any parts of that.
In some ways that wedding and everything that went with it feels so damn long ago. Back in 2010, my wife and I were free to do whatever we wanted within our financial means. We drank, we hung out late, woke up late, and it felt like party time--well as much as it can feel like party time when you're in your mid-to-late 30s and you have a job. Now? We have soccer practice, swim lessons, PTA stuff, quality time with Nyles, work, and little time for ourselves or each other. It takes the juggling act from hell to pull this off, and I should not complain because millions of folks doing it everyday, but I will complain because a)it's my blog and b) this struggle still feels relatively new to me.
I say all this to say that I am still happy I got married. There have been struggles, short arguments, extended arguments, cursing, loving, joking, parenting, consoling, etc. I am not an easy person to live with and neither is she, but for five years we have done our absolute best to navigate through these tricky, yet rewarding waters. I'm glad I got married at 35, because I'm quite sure I wasn't ready in my 20s and early 30s. When folks ask me should they get married, I just ask them to be sure they like the person, because that's a huge deal. When she's on her period wearing porous drawers, a scarf and pants that look like Wolverine got to them, you still have to enjoy conversation and the smaller things.
Ok now I'm preaching, so let me shut up. It is my anniversary, I am happy, be happy for us goddammit.