Tuesday, April 05, 2016

As as kid I never caught my parents having sex. I heard them going at it a few times but once I realized what was going down I scurried away. No kid (or adult for that matter) needs to be directly or indirectly involved in the dark, shady underworld of their parents infrequent sex life. In fact, I didn't even like to see my parents flirt with each other. I was happy they were in love, and I guess once they divorced I eventually was nostalgic about the bless-ed flirting events of the past, but while it was going on, it was disgusting--to me at least.

I remember Christmas of 1986, my parents decided to sleep in longer than usual, which was preventing them from presiding over all of the toys, books, clothes and music my brother and me were entitled to on Christ's birthday. I had exhausted all of the activities I had at my disposal in my room, and when I went to my brother's room, he was equally as antsy. At this point it was almost 9am, which we felt was simply much too long to be kept from our blessings. We walked to my parents door and proceeded to knock, and then I immediately retreated and made my brother come with me. He was first confused, then apoplectic that I had whisked him away from the door, and then he wanted me to tell him why mommy was "crying". I refused to answer. 15 minutes later when my parents emerged from their bedroom looking like Girard's parents in Boomerang, my brother demanded answers once again. Both parents refused to answer, which was the wise move considering Jamal was only eight years old. I knew the deal though and again it was disgusting.

Fast forward about 30 years. This morning, I noticed there were about 20-30 minutes of adult time to be had before my son made his presence and his hunger known. I will not get specific about what went down during adult time, because I'm sure it is as disgusting for you to read/hear as it was for me with my parents. The wife did her thing, and I did mine, but at the very moment that I finished--and I mean the VERY moment, we both looked towards the door, and young Nyles was standing with the door wide open looking bewildered as hell.

Me: Good morning Nyles
Nyles: Hi Daddy, I have to pee pee
Me: Go pee pee Nyles

**Then he runs to the bathroom, starts peeing and then...**

Nyles: Why were you hugging Mommy like that?
Me: What did you say? (knowing good and goddammn well I heard every word of his question)
Nyles: Why you were you hugging Mommy like that? (Of course that was the most enunciated sentence he's ever uttered in four years of life)
The wife (who finally decided to jump in here): Because we love each other

The wife's response must have been enough to pacify the youngster, because he ran in his room to get his slippers and to get his pre-school routine started. I feared that he may bring it up while he was eating oatmeal, or on the way to school or at school in front of his friends or teachers, but he kept his mouth shut like a good kid--for now at least. This certainly won't prevent me from wanting to "wet my beak" as it were, but now I have to secure the premises a little tighter, since I'm quite sure Nyles will do everything in his power to see Mommy and Daddy hug again.

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