I love babies as much as the next man (not really) but there is a time to show off your baby, and a time to get the hell out of the way. Just now, while I was trying to purchase my drink from Starbucks, a former Starbucks employee showed up with her baby and all hell broke loose. Everyone behind the counter all of a sudden came down with a crippling bout of paralysis, and they stopped working and played with the baby. The baby was slobbering, laughing and talking, and the employees were just losing their damn mind. Meanwhile, there were at least 10-15 people in line waiting to be served, and do you know who was in front of that line? YOURS TRULY.

I patiently waited for 2 minutes while they swung from the baby's young jockstrap, and then I had to say something. Needless to say it did not go well. I told the people behind the counter that I didn't mean to be rude, but I did have to go to work, as did the people behind me. I got mean looks from the mother of the child, the Starbucks employees, and even the baby. But despite the menacing looks, the mother and the baby moved aside, I got served, the line shortened, and all was well. But clearly I cannot go back in that particular Starbucks, because I'm confident they will urinate in all my beverages going forward. Still, I was in the right..Starbucks isn't a nursery, a photography studio, or a meet-and-greet area for children and their parents. It is a place of business, so act accordingly.

And finally I would like to send a shoutout to this anonymous woman:


I absolutely love how you shunned the straps on your backpack, and decided to roll that sh*t around like its a dog on a leash. Its not like the suffix in backpack tells you where it should be placed on anything..Plus the contraption you're dragging the backpack around with is bigger than the damn backpack. Please rectify that. Although I'm sure I deserve to be equally criticized for snapping that picture like a creepy person..