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As I left the pool this morning, the lifeguard stopped and asked if I had any cds I could loan him so he could load up his IPOD with fresh new music. I didn't really want to go into how all my cds burned up in the fire, so I merely told him that I didn't have cds anymore, and all my music was on my computer via itunes. I thought that would be it, but he probed a bit deeper, and asked me what kind of music I liked, and I said I had all kinds on my IPOD. Finally, he asked me if I could make him a cd, like my name was Rob Gordon. He said he wanted something uptempo with some R&B and whatever else I wanted to put on there, and I said I'd see what I can do. A few thoughts on this exchange..

1)Why the hell did he ask me? By my quick count, there were at least 15 people of varying ages who walked by him during the course of the morning, and I did not once see him stop and ask them for some audio gems. I was the only black person to walk by, and while I won't just rush and play the race card, it certainly seems that was a factor..Or maybe its the fact that I'm always walking in and out with headphones, but again, I don't have a monopoly on that action. EVERYONE has headphones on their head...Or maybe I just look like a black Casey Kasem, who knows what's happening on the music scene..

2)I am kind of excited at the prospect of having to make a cd for someone..even if its a hairy, male lifeguard, whose behavior borders on creepy on most days. Back in the day, I used to make 90 minute tapes for the lady I was feeling at the time, or I'd make tapes just to dazzle myself. Sure I was no Ron G or any type of mixtape master, but in my mind I did ok for myself. These days, with IPODS and mp3 players, the opportunity to dazzle someone with your ability to produce a 90 minute, theme driven, perfectly sequenced cd, is as rare as seeing LeBron James get dunked on by a college student. So now that I have the chance to re-live my past so to speak, I'll all over it.

3) Do I put widely known songs on the cd? Or do I take chances and put new stuff on there, in hopes that he'll take a shine to it? Do I throw one song in there with lots of cursing and "n" words in there, just to see how he reacts? So many directions, just one weekend to make it happen...this whole blog may be a tad bit ghey...

You want a sign that handicapped people are moving on up in the world? Just 20 short minutes ago before I came into work, a homeless man went up to a guy in a motorized wheelchair, who had limited use of his arms and legs, and asked him if he could spare a dollar. The wheel chaired gentleman chose not to acknowledge the homeless fellow and sped by, but still..that's progress in my eyes.

There's an interesting event coming up in my life on July 24th. The Columbia University/Barnard College alumni association is throwing a reception for US Attorney General Eric Holder, who is also a Columbia grad. Since my dad is a Columbia alum and my mother is Barnard grad, I know lots of people in their class, because they were always at my house growing in my youth. This means that I was in position to receive an invitation to this black tie affair. Why is this exciting? Let me count the ways

1) Eric Holder. I work for the Department of Justice, so technically he's my boss. Not only that, he used to work in the same building I currently do God's work in, so hopefully at least 5-10 minutes of schmoozing will go a long way...especially since he knows my parents.

2) I get to wear a tux. I have no shame in admitting that I have only had to wear a tuxedo twice in my life. I know folks who own numerous tuxedos, and whoopty damn doo for them. I'm still at the point where wearing one is a big effing deal, so I plan on relishing each and every minute of it..assuming I can put it on by myself.

3) The awkward factor. I know what I'm about to say is wrong, but if you saw it, you'd laugh at it from afar too. It is quite possible that both my divorced-for-18-years-parents will be at this reception. People they've known for 35-40 years will be in attendance and I doubt they'll both miss an opportunity to re-connect with them. Most of the people in the room remember my parents as a couple in college, so to see them on their own and mingling will be more than a bit awkward. Throw in the fact that my dad is always a threat to bring his new woman, and I am basically my mother's date?? You got yourself a stew baby. I can joke about this because I've seen the awkwardness that is my mother and father being in the same room for years now. Yeah its painful deep down, but I operate in the shallow world my friends, and in that realm is humorous.

4) Obama. Our beloved president is a Columbia alum, and Eric Holder is his main man 50 grand. My sources tell me, that there is a chance he may be in attendance. That may not sound like a big deal to you, but in 34 years of life, I have been to an event where the President's presence is a chance type of deal. Never. Realistically speaking this is my one chance to meet him, so I will bring a list of one to two liners to dazzle him with just in case I get a chance to see him. That is my pledge to you, my 4 readers.

I've never discussed this with other men to see where they stand on this issue, but I'm not one to purchase underwear very often. It's not so much that I hunt and peck for the highest quality that underwear has to offer, I just seem to have an uncanny ability to stretch and get the maximum wear out of them. Often times to an outside, untrained eye, underwear with thinning fabric and inconvenient holes means its time to put them to sleep, but I don't give up so easily. I will basically wear underwear until its clear that my junk will no longer have a safe, secure home, and then I'll reluctantly throw them out.

So this morning I threw away a pair of underwear that had been in heavy rotation for a good five years. When I went to put them on, I noticed that I could see right through them--presumably that last wash cycle it endured caused extreme tearing because there was no way I could comfortably wear those with the dress slacks I was trying to wear today. I took them off, looked at them longingly, and then I threw them away. I then went back and surveyed my underwear collection, and I made a depressing observation.

Not only am I getting low on underwear in general, but I only have two pairs of underwear with the hole in front. The rest of my underwear are of "no fly zone" variety which means when I visit the urinal, I have to create miracles just to free my junk. I don't know why any man would create this type of underwear, and I fail to see the advantages of such an invention. When a man is at a urinal in the bathroom, it is a looking-at-the-sun situation. You get in there, you quickly do your business, and then you look away and leave. There's no lingering, no extra movement, and definitely no fumbling with your no-fly-zone underwear trying to free your junk. Yet today and every other day this week until I go shopping, I will be doing just that. If dress slacks weren't so thin, I'd go commando.

Fast Changes - Seal

I agree with Peter King, all this Michael Jackson coverage is getting a little ridiculous. The memorial (which takes place today) itself doesn't annoy me, but the coverage and selling of it does. I am sick of the video marathons, sick of the attorneys, the other family members, TMZ, Access Hollywood, "his" kids, all of it. About the only thing that I am not sick of, is the very thing that I know him for, and that is his music..however..

The one lesson I am (re)learning is that I must press my parents (and when I get older I have to do the same) about getting their will finalized right now. All the details that seem mundane, pointless, and minuscule must be laid out, written down and legally recognized, so that their passing doesn't become a huge mess. Michael Jackson left "his" kids to his 80 year old parents and his backup is 65 year old Diana Ross. His debt wasn't even close to being paid off, and now someone will have to tend to that as well. The biological mother of the "his" kids, Debbie Rowe, wasn't left with jack (although i'm sure she got paid after she had the kids) and now she's scrambling to get her case heard, so she can get in on this. All of this drama just cheapens what is supposed to be grieving and celebrating MJ's life and music. It seems like when he did his will, he didn't call ANYONE to even let them know they were in it. So after he died, its like HEY SURPRISE!

Yet another point that has come to mind since this MJ drama, is how I would react if 30 or 40 cameras and camera equipment were shoved in my face while I was minding my own business. I saw it happen to Debbie Rowe yesterday, and I've sent it happen Bernie Madoff prior to his jailing, and both parties totally lost their cool and ended up shoving the cameras. I honestly think I would walk very slowly, start quietly rapping lyrics to the most profane song I could think of, and then I'd walk towards my lawn, start watering it, and I'd do my best to ruin each and every camera one by one with a steady stream of water. There are some other things I'd do as well, but I can't mention them on this family blog. And yes I've given this plenty of thought.

I have slacked on writing the past few days. I was just enjoying and experiencing life with myself and others that I care about. But I missed it so I'm back.

Don't Go - En Vogue

After watching Serena defeat Venus for the Wimbledon championship, I had an epiphany. If I was playing my brother in any type of televised sport for a championship, I would NOT be a gracious winner or loser. If I was winning, I'd yell out inside jokes to make him laugh, I'd be extra demonstrative in my reactions, and after I won, I'd continue to talk trash. If I lost? I'd be cursing up a storm, I wouldn't shake his hand, and in my post match interview, I'd be totally ungracious. A couple of days later, I'd be nice and responsible and all that. But I'm a sore loser, and losing to Jamal wouldn't change that.

Yeah I said it.

Yet another reason why the possibility of having a daughter makes me nervous..

After I completed my post swim shower, I walked out without a towel on my body. I had already noticed that the locker room was empty, since it was the day before a holiday, so I figured I could air dry for once. As I turned the corner, I noticed a little girl standing right in front of a stall. Apparently her father was in the bathroom doing god's work, and she was standing outside of the closed door. And here I come completely naked, and she looks at me and waves and says "Hi there!". Meanwhile I am scrambling to put on my towel without dropping my bathing suit and after awhile I just starting walking fast towards my locker. A few minutes later the father comes out, and I apologized to him, and he said it was no big deal, but I just felt weird.

Its already traumatizing enough for that little girl that she has to stand outside of the stall while her dad is on the toilet, but then strange men are just gallivanting around naked in the locker room. She looked to be about 3 or 4 years old, which is around the time memories start to stick. Maybe it won't affect her at all, maybe it will, who knows, but it made me squeamish.

And speaking of that, why does the man have to bring his little girl to the men's locker room. Why can't he go in the ladies locker room, where the little girl will feel more comfortable? That way, no one is seeing anything new. The little girl will see bodies that she's probably familiar with, and the father will see bodies that he has seen before as well, plus he may see a little something extra for his trouble. What's wrong with that? The other nude women in the locker room will be mad for a second, but when they see the little girl, they will put at ease. Why can't this happen?

I am writing this particular entry, because I want my thoughts to be out of my head completely, and the maybe I can refer back to it later for motivation. I just wanted to put that out there in case someone read this, and thought, "What the hell is he talking about?"..although there have been plenty of entries prior to today, where that very question could have been posed, so I guess I shouldn't care now.

I am getting ready to embark on a challenge that both intimidates and thrills me, and my confidence on this is swaying back and forth like a man running commando. Most, if not all of my basketball related articles I've written, are short, mini-features on a specific aspect of the sport. Sometimes its an interview, sometimes its just a brief audio clip, and sometimes I am recapping an event or game. Rarely do any of these types of pieces exceed the 900 word mark. I haven't mastered this, but I have found a comfort zone with which to operate in, and I think I've done alright for myself.

This feature piece I am getting ready to start, is way more involved than just 900 words. I have to spend time with this athlete, I have to get this athlete to trust me enough to veer away from the sports cliches that litter the airwaves, the internet and the newspapers. I will need to do enough research on this person, so that the questions I ask will be so deep and probing, that he may even have to think on it and get back to me another day. I fully expect this process to take a week or two and I welcome that challenge. In fact, this is the part of long process I'm most comfortable with.

The part that makes me nervous is the actual writing. As I told my lady earlier this morning, feature writing requires an element of creativity that I just don't have. I can give you the facts, I can pepper in my opinion, but the creative aspect of writing is one that I've struggled with since college. When I was asked to write poems or tell stories, there was basically a huge chasm between what I wanted to write, and what I had the ability to verbalize eloquently on paper. And now that I'm doing this feature piece, I have to not only face and conquer this phobia, but I have to slay this beast in such a fashion, that other people read this and say, "Wow, this is good!" And that terrifies me. I don't doubt my ability, but the process is intimidating.

Thank you for listening