Friday, March 30, 2012

Today's guest blog entry is brought to you by my wife:

I see how people start blogs based on their life and events surrounding them. Marriage, Baby, Divorce, Pregnancy etc. Every time I think of starting one based on something like say when Rashad & I got married or being pregnant and becoming parents together, the thought exhausts me. I try to gently tell people that no one gives a rat’s ass about their wedding or baby like they do. It’s the truth. Tell me when to show up to your ceremony or when the kid’s here. I don’t want to see every little effing detail about how your tent cards arrived and some were eggshell and some were taupe and now you have to find tent cards that are all either/or. No one cares – trust me. Rashad and I nearly did the whole wedding ceremony thing but mercifully he heard me explaining to a relative why this one and that one wouldn’t be invited to the super small ceremony we had in mind. The next thing I know within a week we’d booked a wedding beach planner and room in Miami – and no one was invited.

While I continue to shun then seriously consider the mom blog I may start, I’ll just continue enjoying my husband’s for now. Though his recounting of some of our parenting foibles are a little skewed. Perhaps, its perception VS. reality Matt.

There are a lot of things I just shut up and let go on as far as Mr. Nyles is concerned. Once I had him, I have to relinquish control over how some things are done so my husband will continue to be a willing and active participant. Sort of like the bed making but not really. I don’t go behind him and fix things where the baby is concerned. Luckily, Nyles is a little boy and will never require getting his hair done – I don’t guess – I mean if he wants to wear barrettes and a headband someday I’m okay with that. But hopefully for his sake he’ll never need for his dad to do his hair because I’m sure that would be one hotbed of shittyness. Let’s take a fine look and Rashad’s pampering shall we? So, with the diapering – there’s really not an issue with it being wrong so much as Rashad has a style. I think he thinks the “fold-back” with making the bed is a style but it ain’t. You can always tell when Rashad’s changed Nyles because the two fasteners will be crisscrossed in the front. That’s his move. Like and X marks the spot. You’ve been officially stamped with freshness. Yeah he really likes the crisscross and is quite proud of it. I don’t know why I find it particularly funny but I do.

This isn’t all about Rashad’s quirky habits though. I’d be miss and remiss if I didn’t share some of my own. Like waking up when he’s slept longer than three hours to see why he isn’t waking me up. I did that oh about three times last night at midnight, one and two am. Finally, at 2:30am he woke up as if to say let me give this lady some business. Crazy.

About two weeks ago we tried for three weeks to unsuccessfully sleep train Nyles. He wasn’t having it and every place I read, tells me that it was too early to have been attempting it anyway. I hated every single minute and was uptight, cried and agitated every night we tried it. Now he goes to sleep after eating but still in my arms. I realize we’ll have to try this again in a month or so but I am against crying it out unless I’m the crier.

I appreciate those of you who have sent a prayer along for us to get through the first day of daycare. Boy was that a nightmare. Nice timing on my part to return to work and have his first day of daycare on the day after my birthday. I had approximately four or five crying fits on that day alone. That’s not counting the times I had complete breakdowns in the couple of weeks leading up to it. I’m much better now but still would like to take this time to shamelessly request the services of a super in-home caregiver for Master Nyles who speaks English, doesn’t cost the same as a monthly house payment and won’t steal my underwear. Anyone? Anyone?

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

My latest article is here.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

My lovely wife found this pic of me trying to burp Nyles, when he was just a few days old...

So yesterday I took young Nyles to take care, I signed him in, I dropped off his diaper bag, gave him his medicine, and then I realized I forgot his bottles. The first thing I said, out loud, in this fine church establishment was, "Sh*t!". I had to go all the way back home in traffic to get the bottles, then I had to come back in more traffic, and deliver the bottles. I was late for work, and basically thrown off the whole next day--but I got over it.

Today, I brought all the materials necessary for Nyles to have a a great day at daycare, and I apologized to the nice daycare lady for cursing. She claimed not to hear me (I don't know how that's true) and she said to me, "Yes, we don't do that here in the house of the Lord." I apologized again for that and forgetting the bottles and I left. But the defiant side of me wanted to curse again, because of the condescending tone she laid on me. But I was wrong, she was right, and that's just one of those things that you have to eat---that's what she said. Not to mention, I can't piss of the daycare staff taking care of my beloved son.

So Nyles in indirectly involved in me learning the art of restraint..I'm sure it will all unravel as he gets older.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Thanks to my main man Sabin for sending me this article from Diverse Issues in Higher Education. The title of the article is "The Black Woman's Burden", which may or may not interest the 4 people who read this blog. But this article is of special importance to me because my mother is quoted, so check it out.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Good morning. The train just off loaded. not sure if there will be a delay or not.

This is the text I received from one of the individuals who works for me. The combination of us being contractors and my boss being a bit anal, means that my staff has to get in contact with me if they are going to be running late. It really isn't my style to micromanage such things, but I have to play the game. No problem with that.

But I have told my staff to tell me what I need to hear, as opposed to telling me the circumstances around their problem. I learned this lesson from my father, and some of the bosses I had in my younger days. I'd say stuff to my dad like, "There's a field trip coming up, and the teacher said we need $20." And he'd look at me without saying a word, and I'd ask him why he was ignoring me, and he'd say, "You haven't asked me a question yet." Or I'd tell a boss that I had a lot going on, and I hadn't finished an assignment, and they'd ask me when they COULD expect it. We are adults, and the bottom line is more important than the top and medium lines.

So I ignored my co-worker's text message, because it told me nothing. I can go on any number of websites and find out if a train is delayed or not running at all, but that still won't help me determine WHEN I can expect him to be in his seat working diligently. He ended up being 15 minutes late, and he said good morning to me, and eventually I'll talk to him (again) about sending me what I need to hear. I don't think I'm being a d**k here, but if I am please feel free to tell me otherwise.

The song below is the first jazz song I learned how to play back when I was 12 and an aspiring jazz musician:

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

As tough as yesterday's daycare-related activities were, today was a lot smoother. I drove young Nyles to daycare this morning, he wiggled free of one sock, I found the sock in a puddle, the daycare went to the backup pair, I signed paperwork and I rolled out. I kissed Nyles, but he was fixated on the yellow calendar with the day's activities, and he barely looked at me. All is well for now. And he slept relatively well last night, so whatever went out at daycare needs to continue.

Someone told me yesterday that considering I have two sons, I need to write or say something about this Trayvon Martin murder situation. I disagree. I have nothing to say on that, because from my vantage point, things seem pretty cut and dry and the much-delayed wheels are finally in motion..kind of. But I'm not going to waste (more) time discussing something that is currently being discussed (and justifiably) on every medium known to man. Not to mention, I work for the Dept. of Justice, and it is been my job to have those discussions that past few days. I've said too much already..besides, if you want it discussed, start your own blog and go crazy with this issue.

And while you're at it, go buy Esperanza Spalding's new cd which came out today.

Monday, March 19, 2012

I wrote an entire blog entry the other day, where I asked my four loyal readers to say a prayer or send positive vibes for my wife, since today was Nyles' first day at daycare. In doing so, I totally glossed over the emotions I would have about this same event. Nyles did not cry or get upset, he was just observing his temporary day caretakers as well as the other scenery. His mother didn't cry in front of me, but I'm sure she did when she closed the door to her office. And I held it together until one of my co-workers asked my how my wife as holding up...of course I'm way too smooth to cry in front of anyone I work with, but I came in the office and released the emotions.

And with those same emotions came a bunch of rhetorical questions: Why don't I live closer to family so they could watch Nyles? Why don't I make more money so the wife can stay home longer? Why haven't I hit the lottery? Needless to say, today is rough for both of us today; however, parents (single and married) have been dealing with these types of issue for years, and they got over it, as will we. It's still a bitch though..

Here's Nyles with his Hampton University football that aunt Janelle bought for him:

And here's some humor about the issue of crying when no one is around...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I swear I didn't buy this shirt for him...

I think I've started and eventually deleted about 10 entries this week alone. I don't want to bitch and moan about my home life, because frankly nobody cares and no one likes a complainer. So I will diplomatically say that life is a challenge right now--and I do mean all of life. Yes I have my health and my immediate family seems to be healthy as well. I don't want to glaze over that or take it for granted..but let's face it, who the hell centers a blog around how healthy they are every day? I sure as hell don't. And never in my life have I been so ok with living a sexless life..I thought folks were exaggerating about the sex-life falling by the wayside, but they weren't. The libido is still there, but the lack of opportunity and energy are winning in a big way--my wife and I are the Washington Generals, Nyles is playing the role of the Harlem Globetrotters.

Anyway, I won't go into (anymore) detail, I will focus on the next challenge which comes on Monday when daycare starts. I am on drop off duty, and the wife will be picking young Nyles up from there. Last night, the wife had me sign various forms in preparation for daycare, which is in a church (that I'm not a member of..actually I don't belong to any church right now). One of the forms basically said that I have to allow the staff to raise Nyles according to God's word, and I looked over to my wife and smirked (she was not amused). If my son were 5, I could see the word of God coming into play, but at two months? What does God's word have to do with anything? And if He is in the mix, can he help me put Nyles to sleep for at least 6 consecutive hours? That would be awesome! In all seriousness, I want them to take care of my son, and considering that I'll be paying them more money than I'd care to shake a stick at, I will be monitoring their God-fearing tactics.

This entry has no direction, no purpose and lots of restraint. Speaking of God, if you pray, please say one for the wife, who has to let Nyles out of her sight on Monday when she goes back to work. She's going to cry, I don't think anything can stop that, but I'd ask that you pray that she doesn't assault any of her co-workers who dare cross her path on that magical day. I would also like to send a shout out to young Nyles who had to listen to rap the song you see below in an animated fashion last night (twice in a row in fact), while Mommy was in the shower. He smiled, he laughed, and he was thoroughly confused, but hopefully he learned all the words.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Friday, March 09, 2012

Have you ever had something bad or challenging happen to you early in the day, and your knee jerk reaction is to mentally make a list of 5-10 destructive things to do to help you forget about that early challenge? But then you take a look at your driver's license and realize that you're three years short of 40, and that type of immaturity is unacceptable?

Well I have.

Nyles didn't sleep, he threw up and was seemingly gasping for air this morning (that's not the challenge I'm speaking of). Mommy and Daddy got no sleep, and snapped at each other at various points in the evening and morning(totally her fault--and no, that STILL isn't the challenge I'm speaking of). We had an appointment with the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor at 8am, we got there at 7:50 (per their instructions), we waited until 8:30, received a two minute consultation from the doctor's assistant, then waited 20 minutes for the doctor to stick a probe/camera down Nyles' throat (which took 5 minutes at best), then we waited another 15 minutes for the doctor's assistant to give us a prescription (HERE is the aforementioned challenge). I wanted to take whip my genitals out and smack everyone on sight with them repeatedly.

Why does the doctor's office ask you to arrive early, and then make you wait for them for up to 45 minutes? Why do they ask the same questions the doctor's assistant asked you, which are the same questions on the form you initally filled out, which are the same questions you answered just two weeks ago when you went through this exact same process? I swear I wanted to drink an adult beverage, skip work, take my anger out on co-workers, etc. Instead, I walked to work, talked to my mother, listened to the song you see below, and now all is well. Thank God for plan B.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Rachelle Ferrell and a humble, but eventually confident Jennifer Hudson:
A few days ago my friend Valerie wrote a scathing blog entry about how she felt (that day I might add) about kids as they related to her wallet and other things. I read it twice, and both times I said "goddamn" out loud. She threw in nice things about her son at the very end, but not before getting her point across loud and clear. I thought it was harsh, but I knew I had not come even close to seeing what she had seen, so I didn't dare judge--ok maybe a little.

Then came last night, when Nyles decided to inflict pain and inconvenience on his mother and father. I know it wasn't intentional and I know he's just an infant and these things can and will happen millions of more times. Still, yesterday, I had to work from 9-5:30, and then I had a Wizards game from 7-10, so I was beat. The wife had spent all day trying to get young Nyles to nap (to no avail), plus she's emotional because we're trying to get him to cry himself to sleep, as opposed to being rocked. So the wife and I were dead tired, and Nyles basically said, "F**k you and your fatigue, I'm about to add to it!"

He vomited, he cried, he screamed, he was up every hour, he laughed at us while we changed his diaper, he kicked my wife's breasts, he smashed my balls like LL squashed the imaginary jellybean, and it all added up to a sleepless night. My wife and I may have slept 90 minutes total. And for a second, I thought back to Valerie's blog, and I silently gave her a high five.

I want to say all is well now, but I'm shoo-in to fall asleep in at my desk in T minus 2 hours..I love Nyles and all, but damn...

I know 90% of you could give a flying f**k about basketball, but my main man Kyle gave me a chance to do something on ESPN's site, and you can read it right here (scroll down to the Wizards game). It is small, and it wasn't as fun or difficult as it was to tweet about the game (via an ESPN account) all evening, but it is something..

The first two lines of this song are how I feel this morning

Friday, March 02, 2012

The Robert Glasper Experiement featuring Bilal and Lupe Fiasco, "Always Shine":

Thursday, March 01, 2012

My main man Bill Simmons got to talk sports with President Barack Obama. Check it out here.