Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Here is a list of things you can do when you have an extremely high salary:

1) You can tell your boss that the team you work with sucks horribly, and you want them to either bring in some talent, or you want to be traded to another organization. When the attempts to bring in talent fail, you demand to be traded immediately (Kobe)

2) Despite your bosses repeatedly asking you to report to work, you decide that you need some extra time to decide whether you feel like working. Your job says that they will fine(not fire) you for each day you don't come to work, but because your salary is $5 million a year plus endorsements and per diem and other things, you don't really sweat the fine. Finally, after 39 days, you decide you want to work, and you casually set foot in the office. And all those fines you accrued? You got someone in your union to pay them off for you. (Michael Strahan)

3) You underestimate the losses your company is going to absorb by 4 billion dollars. That staggering loss is primarily due to your risky behavior...allegedly. You attempt a merger/takeover without getting approval from board members. And prior to all of this going down, you brag very publicly about the amount of golf you played in the months of August and September. And to top it all of, once your job decides to get rid of you, the decide to give you 161.5 million worth of accumulated stock, options and retirement benefits. (Stan O'Neal)

I was going to throw in George Bush one too, but that's just overkill

Land of Confusion - Genesis
I shall also post this wonderful video for that song

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

When 4:30pm hits, and my work day concludes, I have a routine I follow prior to leaving the building. I go to the restroom to make sure my clothes are nice and neat, I put my headphones so I can ignore other coworkers who may be leaving and I head out of the building. There is one coworker here who I can talk to on the way to the train, because she doesn't linger. She talks, she walks, she texts on her fancy phone, and then when its time to separate we can make a clean break. That is the exception though, as most of the other co-workers want to talk, linger, and pry into my personal business. Well yesterday, I was temporarily held up by such a person.

I had to pick up mail from my PO Box yesterday, so I took a different train route and I just happened to see the Trash Analyst. Now this woman is annoying during work hours, so there was no telling what she could do or say without the confines of bosses, close offices, work, and the other factors that keep a job from becoming complete anarchy. I saw her and I immediately wanted to run, but she saw me, said my name at a high volume, touched my shoulder(no touching), and asked what I was doing going "her" way. I explained what I was doing, and she asked me how much a PO Box cost, how I was doing in the post-fire aftermath, what was I doing when I got home, what SHE had to when she got home, and man I was slowly dying on the inside. The 5 minutes it took the train to arrive seemed like an eternity. Once the train arrived she kept right on talking until we got on, and then she went, found two empty seats, sat down, and then slapped the one empty seat for me to sit in. I acted as if I was swept up in the train crowd, and I opted to stand, and then someone came and sat in the seat she had been saving for me. Once the train started moving, I gave her the damn-I-tried-hard-get-that-seat-look, but I don't think she was buying it, which isn't surprising because I damn sure wasn't convincing. I then pulled out reading material, turned my back to her, and waited for 3 stops for my stop to come. Once it came, I attempted to turn back to wave goodbye, but at that point the train really was crowded, and I just got off. I figure I saved myself about 10 minutes of extra small talk. I wonder if she'll mention anything about it today?

Make You Feel That Way - Blackalicious

Monday, October 29, 2007

Random thoughts...

-Once the weather begins to get a little cooler, there is nothing better than walking from the bed to the bathroom with a warm floor. In my old apartment I had hard wood floors, and the ground would be ice cold, and I would be miserable for the rest of the day. Today, the ground was warm, the shower was warm, everything was gravy.

-Its a sad day to be a Washington Redskins fan. I've been quiet about my Eagles this year, because they have been mediocre, but damn, we've never been blown out like that.

-Why do people wait until Monday morning to decide they aren't coming into work? I am willing to bet money, that they made that decision early on Sunday. But to make it more believable, they call on Monday morning with a groggy voice to say they won't be coming in to the office. This is why when I take off work on Monday, i go ahead and take Tuesday off as well. It makes the whole I'm-sick-groggy-voice shtick go over a bit easier

Not a lot to say this morning.

Eminem - Mosh

Sunday, October 28, 2007

I can't stand divorce and its fallout. My parents have been divorced for 13 years, and it still annoys the shit out of me. I have to decide whether to spend Thanksgiving with my father in Baltimore, or my mother in North Carolina. The guilt trip on my mother's end will be much stronger, especially since she is all alone in a city she's only been living in since August..but damn if that plane ticket down there isn't expensive. And on top of that, getting on a plane during a holiday weekend is a bitch with a g-string. My father plays the passive-aggressive role to perfection, and he acts like me visiting him is no big deal. My brother and I used to cut deals as to who would visit who, but now he's married with child, and his own family takes precedence, and justifiably so. But there is something completely unnatural about having to choose one parent, and then assuage the other. I hear folks saying to me all the time, at least you have your parents, and they are absolutely right to a certain point. I am eternally grateful that my parents are still living, but that doesn't mean that I don't get annoyed at these charades I have to go through each and every holiday season. Honestly? I hope my son's mother lightens the hell up and lets me see my son, so I can just stay home and hang with him. Realistically speaking? I'll be in North Carolina with my mother praising the Lord and eating well, like a good first son should.

The other reason I hate the fallout from divorce? I don't have a "home" where I can go see my parents. "Home" is usually split between two states. Again, I know for a fact that there are folks reading this who have lost a parent, so this rant probably falls on deaf ears(or blind eyes as it were), but still this type of thing is all least that's what my therapist used to say.

How Deep Is Your Love - Dru Hill featuring Redman

Friday, October 26, 2007

Well, I didn't intrude on the conference room lunch crew yesterday. I was advised by those who I trust and love, that my behavior would not be prudent at that particular juncture, so I took the proverbial high road. And in case you're wondering there was not a lot of traffic on that high road, so I can't even say that I was in good company. Sometimes I need to be reminded that i am 32 years old, and every situation that irks me is not worth throwing a fit over. This type of maturity is extremely rare, and I cannot say that it will carry over to every situation I encounter, but it worked yesterday.

I overslept until 10:15 today, and I was forced to call off from work. Never in the history of all things that are Rashad, have I overslept that long. I had to call my boss and tell her that I would not be coming in, and even she sounded a bit surprised at my brazen behavior. I would like to say that I am embarrassed, but that would be a lie. As has been well documented in this blog, I am a light sleeper by trade. I sleep 4 or 5 hours at the most, and it normally gets me through the day. However, the combination of good wine, a long day, this dreary weather, having a girlfriend, and watching an impressive array of sports prior to going to bed, will put one in a deep and satifying sleep. It was definitely a perfect storm situation, and I will cherish this for the remainder of my life. I will also be going into work insanely early on Monday.

By the way, if you had to draw up the perfect conditions for having sex, this weather would fit the bill. Its windy, its cool, but not cold, its raining, its dark, I mean what else could you ask for? Actually only a snowy day tops the weather we're having now in the ideal-weather-for-sex-department. I just thought I would share that. And now I will post a song that further reinforces this sexual my humble opinion

I Couldn't Love You More - Sade

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Here in my office, there are about 4 people who eat lunch everyday around 11:45am. They heat up, buy or un-refrigerate(no way in hell that's a word) their respective lunches, and then they gather in the conference room across from my office. The core group is 4 people, but I have seen as few as 3 and as many as 6 in that conference room that seats about 30. Their conversations usually are pretty lively, and topics include boyfriends, girlfriends, living in this area as opposed to other major cities, and of course other folks in the office. They laugh loud, they put their feet up on the table after they eat, and they leave quite the mess behind. How do I know this? Because at times I've heard people who have REAL business to do in there complain about the mess, and sometimes they even accuse me of making the mess and then I respond like this. There are times when someone is using the conference room something respectable, and this group of 4 goes hunting around the office(in a group I might add) trying to find a spot to host their lunch. It is pretty sad, and needless to say this "conference room lunch crew" annoys me like you wouldn't believe(or would you?), So yesterday I masterminded a master plan to combat this brouhaha.

I decided that I would gather my lunch, and a newspaper to read, and I would strategically sit in the conference room oh I say about 11:40. I tried to get one of my co-workers to go in with me, but they decided that my idea was a bit over the top. I am determined to do this today, because it has been on my mind since yesterday. I don't even care if this crew chooses to join me for lunch, and I don't care if they get scared away. I just want to see the look on their faces when they see me, my lunch and my Washington Post, sprawled all over "their" area.

And yes I am just that petty.

Wicked Game - Chris Isaak

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

One of the most entertaining aspects of a rainy morning commute, is watching people struggle with flimsy umbrellas. These are the people who never really bothered for purchase a sizable, sturdy umbrella like this. These people prefer to purchase umbrellas that are sold on the street for $5-$10. Or they just steal umbrellas that have been left behind on the train, at their job, etc. Or sometimes these people just rely on umbrellas that their significant other gives to them, before they leave out. I have been all of these individuals at some point in my 32 year old life, but this is before I upgraded. This morning, I saw many people who still haven't invested towards an umbrella upgrade, and they decided to take on this morning's rainy commute ill-equipped for success. They would walk a few steps, then the wind would blow, and this individuals would be on the brink of pulling a Mary Poppins. Or if they were able to survive the wind, their umbrellas would not, and it would flip inside out leaving the umbrella holder wet, flustered and eventually umbrella-less. I suppose if I were a true gentleman, I would have offered the two ladies I saw struggling some shelter under my massive umbrella, but two people walking under one umbrella is a bit cumbersome, so I passed. Perhaps THAT will motivate them to upgrade.

I have been watching Dancing With The Stars on and off during the past few weeks. At first I had to watch as part of the deal I cut with my ladyfriend. I asked her to watch some football with me, and she in turn asked me to watch some of her shows, and Dancing With The Stars was a part of the deal. Then once I watched the show, I noticed that I had three good reasons to watch: 1)Floyd Mayweather, a boxer i admire, Mark Cuban, a billionaire who I simply cannot stand and Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown whose breasts STAY out on display. So every week I'd watch to see Floyd thrive, Cuban fail, and Scary breasts, and I got deeo into the show. Floyd was eliminated last week, and last night, Mark Cuban's stiff, smug ass was finally eliminated too. I'll reserve the true reason for my Mark Cuban hate for another blog, but I was glad to see him go. So now, the only reason I watch is to see Scary bounce around. If you get a chance, take a look at her in action. I know my man card could be revoke for this paragraph, so if you're a man and you're reading this, please watch the damn clip, so you'll understand.

I Can't Help It - Michael Jackson

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

So as I am watching television this morning, I see Matt Lauer interviewing this couple who lost their home during the devastating California wildfires that are unfortunately still in progress. It was amazing to me that this couple agreed to basically walk Matt through their former house, trying to identify where things were, and more importantly what had been where. The husband was holding it together quite nicely, and it was almost as if being on television, despite the tragic circumstances, provided a brief respite from this otherwise depressing time. The wife was a totally different story. While the husband talked, she frequently put her head down and wiped away tears, and it was difficult to watch. I understand that it was a mutual decision between the Today show and this couple to do this, but I really can't understand the rationale, but maybe its not for me to understand. I do know that it took me about 3 or 4 times to walk through my old apartment, without crying or just getting upset, so I damn sure can't imagine having to endure this task, talking to Matt Lauer, while millions of people around the country witness my meltdown. It just seems like that situation is a personal moment. I don't know maybe I'm off on this one.

Circumstance - Wayman Tisdale
Now I need to give a bit of a disclaimer for this song, because there have many times that I have slammed smooth jazz in this blog, and I still think it is far below real jazz in terms of quality. However, there are a few songs that creep into my brain and make me like them, and this is one of them. Wayman is a former basketball player, and this was his first cd that came out back in '95. The guitar hooked me in man...

Monday, October 22, 2007

Dealing with my ego can be the best of times and the worst of times. Here at work I could see someone do something, and I will attempt to do it better, and be proud that I went the extra mile do so. The flip side of that can and often does get me in trouble, and such a thing happened this morning during my run. Now granted, the run was already going to be difficult because I enjoyed plenty of what we shall call "football food". Football consists of pizza,, some water, and other things I won't even embarrass myself by mentioning. Usually I don't load up on such garbage, but if YOU knew how big of a sports day yesterday was, you'd have been right there with me. So, that being said, I was well aware of how difficult this 3 mile run was going to be, yet I got up and powered thru anyway. About a mile and a half into my run, this African gentleman ran past me. He looked to be a few inches taller and about 40 pounds lighter, and he had a very smooth stride. He ran past me (only because I was slowing down because of the red light ahead), and then we both had to stop because of the red light. While we were at the light we both jogged in place, and he looked over and smiled at me and I gave him the head nod. Number one, who smiles at other dudes anyway, and number two, do you really think I am going to smile at your ass at 5 in the morning..get real buddy) Anyway, once that light turned green, I increased my speed, my length(of the stride that is), and I created a great deal of separation between me and smiley. Unfortunately, about 4 minutes later, my chest got tight, my thighs got heavy, my stomach started cramping, and the proverbial monkey jumped all the way on my back, and I had to cut my run short and take it to the house. Now once I stretched and all that, I felt golden again, but had I stuck to my original plan of running 3 miles at a realistic pace, I'd be ok. But I have a bit of an ego, and I'm ultra competitive, so that's what I get I suppose.

I believe I've mentioned this twice before in other entries, but it bears repeating. Running in the morning + cooler temperatures = increased libido. I don't know what that's about, and I don't know what the hell the temperature has to do with anything, but I shall investigate.

By the way, I usually don't do sports predictions, but I am predicting that the Washington will be the first team to defeat New England next Sunday. If I'm wrong, I won't mention it again, but if I'm right, I will talk more jive than you've seen in your whole life.

Dwele - Show Me The Love

Saturday, October 20, 2007

So last night I finally went to see the much-talked about movie by Tyler Perry entitled, Why Did I Get Married. I enjoyed the movie, and to me it served it purpose, in that it sparked dialogue between my ladyfriend and I, it entertained, and I got to see Janet Jackson. Everybody wins. Going into the movie, I heard criticism about Mr. Perry's directing style, and some of the dialogue, and I can admit there were parts of the movie that needed work, but that's nitpicking. You get out of movies what you put into it, and for me, the movie served its purpose. I can readily admit that I was not a fan of Tyler Perry's past movies, but this one was solid. He kind of reminds of Adam Sandler. When Mr. Sandler first came out, he did movies based on his Saturday Night Live character, that had no depth, and were mainly slapstick type of humor. As Adam got older, he started taking different roles that showed his growth like Spanglish and Reign Over Me, and for me they were much easier to digest. I think Tyler Perry has done some movies that have a bit too much buffoonery for me, but I do think as he gets older, he'll mix in movies like, "Why Did I Get Married" too. I'm off my soapbox now.

Jill Scott - Whenever You're Around

Friday, October 19, 2007

I do my very best to avoid speaking about the fire and the fallout I continue to feel from it, because I know it can be depressing to read about. I try to save that talk to those very close to me, and the therapist. But this morning I happened to glance at the date, and I noticed that it happened five months ago today, so I am going to speak on it a bit.

Since the fire I have accrued quite a bit of things that I lost. I had clothes to last me through the summer and fall, I have bedroom furniture, towels, linens, etc. I haven't had the heart to start replacing the record collection I was building before the fire, and I haven't bought another record player. I can't even remember all of the books I had, and I haven't had the time to call and replace my birth certificate. Sometimes when I wake up I think of something like an article of clothing or a cd, or a picture that I think I still have only to remember that it is long gone. I continue to wonder in my mind if I'm taking too long get over this, or am I doing the typical man thing and downplaying my emotions to the fullest. I don't think I'll ever have the answer to that. I'm not even going to say I'm depressed about this situation this morning, because I'm not. I'm just reflecting on how I feel about this five months later, and when will I be able to completely get over this.

Visions - Stevie Wonder

Thursday, October 18, 2007

There was a time when Howard Homecoming was a really big deal for me and my boys. We would print out emails to get discounted admission into parties, we would drown ourselves in the finest cologne, we'd be dressed to the nines(whatever that means), and we'd hit up every party there was. There usually would be a happy hour, a late night party, a trip up and down the yard(the main, social area of the campus for you clueless people), we would drive up and down the historic U St., and all of these festivities were designed for us to hopefully convince a young lady (or possibly two) to give us some. Nothing like that ever happened, and we would always go home (not together, because that's ghey) tipsy, if not drunk, sexually frustrated, but strangely satisfied to some degree. Fast forward about 6-7 years, and things have definitely changed. My boy Kevin half heartedly inquired about my intent on participating, and basically said I'd be spending the weekend with my ladyfriend. He was trying to get motivated to buy a plane ticket to come in town, but I won't be at all surprised if he doesn't. And I am 100% sure that my boy Cliff has no interest in coming in town either. The fact is these days, when I think of Howard Homecoming, I think of alumni, students and other people making lines longer, restaurants busier, and my neighborhood more crowded, and frankly that just flat out irritates me. It can't be my age, because people older than I am, are preparing to take this homecoming weekend by storm as I type. I just think it no longer fits my 2007 personality.

By the way, I am realizing the when you wear certain flat front pants, you CANNOT afford to have a solitary dirty thought.

Thanks for listening.

So, as a tribute to the time when I had a ball at Howard Homecoming, I shall attach the song that epitomizes that moment when you get off work early on Friday, and head down to the festivities.

Luchini - Camp Lo

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

There is an expression called "inside baseball" that was based on this guy named Bill James who is a baseball historian. Not only would he talk about baseball, but he'd dig deep to find the lesser known stats that only a fanatic would care about. Often times during sports talk radio, an announcer will say, "I'm about to go inside baseball on you" and that means that he or she is about to speak on a topic(not necessarily baseball) that only few know or care about. If I didn't listen to sportstalk radio every day of my life, I would not know this. But I listen, so I do. That being said, I'm about to go inside baseball with a topic that I have discussed with a few people already.

I have seen two different trailers for the movie, American Gangster that comes on November 2nd. There's one trailer that has regular movie music in it, and it is about 30 seconds long. I believe its the one they show on regular television. The other trailer is the one they show in the movie theatres and it is about 2 minutes long. Now the star power shown in this trailer(Denzel, Russell Crowe, Common, T.I. the gun specialist, Chiwetel Okafor, and many more) is enough to get you excited about this movie. But the EXACT moment when I KNEW I had to see this movie occurs at the 45 second mark of this trailer. You see a dark figure walking thru an empty bar or restaurant with a gun in his right hand, and at the same time you hear the beginning of this song. Someone told me that this part made them want to go out and kill someone, and I don't quite feel that strongly about it. But this part of the trailer definitely has an intensity(to me at least) to it that makes you feel like this movie is about to the best thing since unprotected sex in the morning. But don't just take my word for it my friends, check out the trailer your damn self. Turn the speakers up just a bit, and notice how the energy level raises a bit at the 45 second mark.

American Gangster trailer

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Senator Larry Craig really needs to give it up. He's on an award tour right now trying to convince anyone who will listen(this morning it was the Today Show's Matt Lauer) that he is not gay, he is innocent of the charges he plead guilty to, and he will continue to vigorously fight to clear his good name. At the same time he is appealing the judges decision to overturn his guilty plea, and he is highly critical his Republican colleagues who have basically turned their collective backs to him, which they very well should considering election year is coming. So, in an effort to do some good public service for Larry, I have offered to ghostwrite a press release for him, so that he can finally put this situation to rest. This is also known as, "The Marion Jones":

Dear Friends, Colleagues, and Media,

First let me apologize for lying about not only this situation, but about my sexuality in general the past 25/26 years or so. I am gay..oh I am so gay. I was in that Minnesota airport trying to get a little pre-boarding loving the way I do once a month, and I just happened get all Marion Barry-ed up, and it was really unfortunate. I was expecting big things to jump off in that particular stall, but I digress. I entered a guilty plea originally because I was dead wrong, and I thought my political career was over. But then I watched Michael Vick apologize, and I remembered that I am white, privileged, and I work for the federal government, so that empowered me to try to hide this lie of me being gay a bit longer. But my fellow Americans, I am just not prepared to alienate my gay brethren like that..they've held me down, tied me up, and kept me on my prayer of course. To those people in the great state of Idaho who voted for me, let me say that I am sorry. I always did my best while I was in office, and I am married with kids, so I do have a bit of an idea of what it means to be a "family". My wife has known that I am gay for quite some time, but she said I could do my thing as long as I kept it quiet, gave her a family, and kept her financially stable and I have done that...except for the keeping it quiet part. My Republican brothers and sisters know that I am gay..hell, I've slept with some of them, but the agreement was to keep it quiet, and I have betrayed them too, so I don't blame them for turning their backs on me. In conclusion, I will withdrawal all of my appeals, I will leave my office in Idaho, and I will now turn to my REAL passion, which is that of a Catholic Priest. Thank you. God Bless You, God Bless America, and nowhere else.

That's Why I Lied - New Edition

Monday, October 15, 2007

There is a woman who works with me, who takes at least 15 minutes out of my day to tell me about her life. There are times when I see her walk by, and I intentionally try to avoid eye contact, because I know I'm about to be held hostage. Her topics include: her husband, her alma mater, her kids, sports, her girlfriends, and many many more. I usually end up making facial expresssions, and saying things, "for real", "are you serious?", "seriously?" and "I told you that bitch crazy". She is loud, borderline inappropriate, and she basically violates everything I stand for in terms of work decorum. But just now, she took her talents to another level, and I have to give her a new title: Trash Analyst. As she left my office she peeked in my trash can, saw a starbucks cup in there, and said, "Oh I see you had Starbucks today". I really should have emptied my trash right there on the floor, so I could really maximize her talents. But she kept it up by asking if I drank coffee or tea, and I told her apple cider, and then she asked me how it tastes, and I just felt myself getting angrier. If it wasn't for one of the cleaning people coming in my office, I would still be held hostage. It got so bad one day, that I emailed my ladyfriend, and told her to call me, so I could be freed from the wrath of the trash analyst. People like that should be fined for each minute they sit in my face. How am I supposed to save the world here at my job, if I have to deal with bs like that.

Sweetest Somebody I Know - Stevie Wonder

Friday, October 12, 2007

A Tale of Two Men. Eight years ago, one man "won" the election and became president, and the other had to reluctantly concede the election and hang his head in shame. Immediately afterwards, one man had to lead this country through terrorists attacks and eventually to a war that is STILL very much an issue. The other man laid low for awhile, trying to determine what his next move would be. Four years later, one man was re-elected(no quotes he really won this time...I think), and continued to "lead" this country, while the other man decided he would re-devote his energies to the issue of global warming (an issue that some think is bogus, but that's another blog entry). And now today, one man's approval rating is at an all time low, he is getting accused of wonderful crimes such as these, and his intelligence is constantly being questioned. And the other man's crusade on global warming and his approach, won him an award synonymous with intelligence and vision. That being said, I hope Gore doesn't decide to put himself in the running to succeed Bush. The luster would wear off, his flaws would be magnified tenfold, and he'd go back to being a loser. He should pull a Colin Powell and be as vague as possible, for as long as he can, as a way of playing mind games with the other candidates.

How hard is it to be accountable for your child? How hard is it to come home from work, ask your kid about his day, his homework and other things on his or her mind? How hard is it to snoop in your kids' room after they leave for school, to see what is in their room and what they are up to? How difficult is it to not be creepy and abuse your child whether it be sexually or otherwise? Well apparently in Cleveland and in Pennsylvania these concepts are foreign and difficult to achieve. One kid had a history of neglect and abuse, and the other kid had an arsenal that would make the national guard jealous. Oh and by the way, his mother bought him some of the ammo. I'm sure there will be an uproar from other parents and community leaders to tighten up school security and all that jazz, but honestly, the problem is with the parents, and they are the ones who should be punished for their kids' indiscretions since they created these little monsters.

This is way too serious of an entry for it to be a Friday

Heart of the City (Ain't No Love) - Jay-Z

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The temperature dropped a bit this morning, so of course there were brilliant people who dug deep into their fall line of clothing to unearthed their coats. I saw a coat with some white fur on the neck, I saw what looked to be a Triple Fat Goose jacket(unzipped though, so he wouldn't get too hot), and then I saw a woman with a trench coat on(an Executive if you will). This woman had her trench coat buttoned just about to the top, and the jacket came down to her knees. From my vantage point, it looked as if this woman had nothing on under the coat except for the heels of course. Her skirt must have been shorter than the coat, and whatever kind of top she was wearing was also hidden. The only thing ruining this moment, was the fact that this woman was pretty damn unattractive. Now up to this point, I was never really on the naked-under-the-trenchcoat-as-a-fantasy bandwagon, but I think I will attempt to get my lady to sign off on incorporating this into our repetoire. Sadly, this is not a fantasy that works both ways, because if I tried to travel anywhere outside of my own apartment limits, naked under a trench coat, I'm quite sure I would be tackled, beaten and tased....bro.

I'm also adding two items to the ever-growing list of things that men simply should not do: 1)Men should not wear a suit and tennis shoes. Now I've seen women pull this off, but they can do that considering how uncomfortable heels and some dress shoes can be. But guys shouldn't be doing anything of the sort. There are way too many comfortable dress shoes for guys out there, and none of them involve heels. Just man up, walk around, and when you get to your desk, take your shoes off if need be. But walking around with sneakers and a nice suit, like you're Kanye at the Emmys simply is not classy. 2)Men shouldn't pop their gum. Actually I don't like for women to do it either, but its especially annoying to hear a man do it. I had the pleasure of hearing this yesterday while standing at the ATM machine. This man had a nice suit on(no sneakers), but he kept popping his gum, and at one point I looked him dead in his eye(as if my stares have power), and he just kept right on going. I equate gum popping in public with teenagers and juvenile behavior, not grown ass men.

Last night was a very significant one for sports fans. It was the last sportsless night of the year. I mean sure there was hockey and a b.s. college football game on last, but no one was watching that anyway. Tonight the baseball playoffs resume, and in a little bit basketball starts, and this is the only month when basketball, baseball, football and hockey are all on at the same time, which means sports will be on non-stop for quite some time. I realize this means absolutely nothing to must of the people reading, but its very significant to me my friends.

Lenny Kravitz - You're My Flavor

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

This morning during my walk to the metro, I saw two brothers on their way to school via bike. They both had white helmets, they both wore black backpacks, and they both appeared to be riding the same type of bike. I ran into them at the crosswalk, where they stopped and waited for the "walk" sign like good responsible bikers.(a sharp contrast to the irresponsible adult bikers who ride in the middle of the street and refuse to adhere to the written and unwritten biking laws). Anyway, I thought this was a cute sight, so I removed my headphones and said, "Hey little buddies, how's it going?", and they both gave me a sheepish, "fine". I quickly put my headphones back on, because these days you never know how an innocent hello could turn into Mr. Hansen jumping out of the bushes asking me what the hell I'm doing. As they passed me again, I wished them a good day, and I went about my merry way.

Seeing these two kids riding their bikes, reminded me of living of my brother and I riding bikes together. We never rode to school, since we lived within walking distance, but on the weekends we would ride our bikes all over the neighborhood. We didn't have those silly helmets to wear, so we were way cooler and more unsafe than the bike riders today. My father had this 30 minute rule, which meant every 30 minutes we had to check in to make sure we were alright, and then we could go back out into the world. This was before cell phones and all that. Back then I thought this rule was stupid, but given the aforementioned predators, and the other types of dangers kids run into these days that was pretty smart on his part. I remember that I would lead the way, and my brother would pretty much follow me wherever I went, and it was fun. Sometimes we'd race, other times we'd explore a new part of the neighborhood, sometimes we'd ride up to the local community center to play basketball or pool. Then one day I left my bike in a bad spot, and it was stolen, and my father never bought me another one, so that put an end to our bike riding days. But it was nice revisiting that memory this morning. My brother is going through some personal problems right now, so Jamal hopefully you'll read this and feel a little bit better.

Me and Baby Brother - War

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

This warm weather is messing up my kwan man. This is the time of year when the weather is supposed to be on the brink of chilly, and I should be able to have the option of opening up my window, and feeling slightly uncomfortable at the breeze that is coming through. Instead, last night, if I were to open the window, I would have felt humidity like it was mid-August. Now I looked ahead to this weekend's forecast, and it appears as if the temps will go back to their normal low 60s high, and low 50s to high 40s low, but in the meantime, I am struggling to find a good night's sleep. I woke up at 4am, and I didn't go back to sleep until about 6:15, and even then I kept having weird dreams about 2pac being alive, spanking my son and a woman with a two nipples right below her navel. I simply cannot take a steady diet of that.

Before the treacherous night of sleep, I spent the majority of my evening flipping between three television events, instead of writing like I should be doing (I think basketball season will cure that). These three events were Monday Night Football, game 4 of the Yankees/Cleveland baseball game, and the Vh-1 hip hop awards. My motive for watching all three? I fully expected the Dallas game to be boring, so I was basically watching to see how my fantasy football players would do; I wanted to see the Yankees lose in the playoffs once again; and I wanted to see A Tribe Called Quest honored in a way that probably will never ever be honored on any other awards show. So how did the evening end up? The football game ended up being one of the best of the season, and I only saw it intermittently. The Yankees made me happy by losing prematurely once again, and the VH-1 Awards were boring and nostalgic all at the same time. I must admit though, watching a retrospective of A Tribe Called Quest made me feel old. I've been listening to them since I was 14, and now they are considered to be old legends, and they aren't even 40 yet. This also reminds me that at some point I need to purchase all of their music, since I lost mine in the fire.

This morning, while I was standing on an empty train platform, a woman stood DIRECTLY next to me, when she clearly could have gone somewhere else. Now I didn't notice she walked with some kind of limp, but I still was a bit confused as to why she was so damn close. But I didn't say anything, I just stood as still as a scarecrow until the train came, and went on about my business. Now had this been Saturday, I would have looked at her, and asked if she wanted to hold my hand or something. But today? No harm done. No awkwardness felt.

Tuesday Heartbreak - Stevie Wonder

Monday, October 08, 2007

I continue to be socially awkward man, and it can really be frustrating sometimes..not all the time. On Saturday, a friend of mine brought me some items my apartment that I hadn't replaced since the fire. I met up with her outside my apartment, she gave me the items, and then she asked me if she could come in and use the restroom. Now, my friend, and my ladyfriend have now told me in hindsight that I should have just said yes, and took her up to the apt. Instead, my answer was hold on, let me check and see if my ladyfriend's decent, which apparently was the wrong answer, because I sensed my friend was not pleased, and she left shortly thereafter. Of course after she was gone, I realized that I had my phone, and all I had to do was call my ladyfriend, as opposed to running in the apartment to see if she was decent. But as usual I botched a situation, and my friend went from giving me apt. items to probably wanting to reclaim them. It was truly a Larry David moment. But in my defense, I am not a mean person, just a bit slow at certain times.

Also on Saturday, I went to Hooters for the second time in my life, and I really don't see the big deal. If I wanted to see half naked/naked women, I'd go to a strip club or my "movie" collection. But trying to sit in Hooters, watch 4 different sporting events, and catch glances at the women really is sensory overload for me. Plus, the fact that I cannot be in control of the remote REALLY bothered me. For example, yesterday, I was able to watch the baseball game, the football games, and a preseason basketball game, all because I had complete control of the remote. In Hooters, I would have had to ask the manager, and invariably someone would be pissed. Who needs that drama? I could have my lady walk around in skimpy clothing, have autonomy over the remote, and be just as happy you know?

I think my dad and I are going to see my son play football this weekend, provided my son's mother doesn't get maniacal on me. The challenge with that trip? How do I devise an IPOD playlist for both my dad and I without going to sleep? My dad likes jazz and Motown, both of which I listen to, but not on a damn 3 hour road trip. I can't play all of my music, because he's not a fan of rap..and I don't even listen to rap that is terribly offensive. This will be a tremendous challenge...

Heatwave - Star Of A Story

Saturday, October 06, 2007

I wonder if they use dyslexic people to devise those word verification things you see all over the internets. And if not, whose job is it to come up with these things? And are these the same people who would scramble the Soul Train board back in the day? Do these people go home and say to themselves, "I think I really threw them off today?" And more importantly, how did we ever live in a non word verification world? This feels like a Steven Wright joke or maybe a Jack Handey thought

Friday, October 05, 2007

George Bush needs to appoint a leader to round up a committee of folks, whose sole job it is to re-evaluate this country's holiday situation. I am quite sure that there are some holidays that can fall by the wayside, and there are others that certainly need to be added. For example, while I appreciate this Monday off, the whole idea of Columbus Day (or as my friend's sister calls is Thief's Day) is a joke. We clearly know that Mr. Columbus didn't discover America, so we should just erase this day completely. Conversely, the Thursday that March Madness starts is a legitimate holiday, and needs to be recognized as such. Millions of men and women around this fine nation of ours, have to pretend like they are working, when what they are really doing is checking their grids, and looking at to see the latest scores. Why not just free these people from that torture, by making it a national holiday called March Madness. Since there are games on Thursday and Friday, we can call that Thursday, "March Madness Eve" and Friday, "March Madness". I don't know the process to get holidays added and deleted, but you'd best believe I"m googling it after this wonderful bit of prose i have typed this morning. The nation needs this, I need this and most importantly, the streets need it.

So for 8 years, Marion Jones denies she took steroids, and even sued folks who implied that she did, and then yesterday, she decides to tell truth. I'm not surprised at any steroid admission anymore, but I am disappointed at one thing. If you are going to take steroids, then dammit you need to get your money's worth, and break a world record or something. I mean gold medals are nice, but in track and field, world records get just as much money. I mean Flo Jo did it, why couldn't Marion Jones do it?

Runnin' - The Pharcyde

Thursday, October 04, 2007

In general, I try to be the kind of person to end a conversation on a high note, whether it be at work, at a public function or with friends. This means once I see a particular conversation is on its last legs, I throw in a joke, a smart comment, or just something that is upbeat. This allows me to walk away prematurely, but the other person neither minds nor notices, because they are busy reflecting on the humor I just dropped on them. Comedians use a technique similar to this when they do standup. They will tell a funny joke, then start the next joke, while the crowd is still laughing to avoid that dead silence. Chris Rock is a master at this technique. So anyway, this morning I was talking to this woman at my job about football and the woman who just got fired here at my job. I sensed the conversation was headed towards a dreaded lull, so I thought about, then seemingly executed my end-on-a-high note joke, and I started to walk away, but she called my name as I walked away, and I made the mistake of answering her. I was so flabbergasted at this turn of events, that it took me literally 10 minutes to re-collect myself and roll out of her office. This time around I didn't even try to finesse my exit, I just told her, let me go do some work, and I gently slapped the wall to her office(if you can picture this, it is actually pretty funny). She continued to talk about something, but this time I didn't turn back. I call people like her lingerers. They don't let you leave their office, and they damn sure don't leave yours. These same people are pains in the ass to meet or see in public, because they act as if you have all day to listen to them rant and rave about nothing. That goes against everything I believe in, which is quick, short and efficient conversations. I have also noticed that once you get over 50, and get some grandchildren, you become a lingerer by default. Its in the job description.

This Masquerade - George Benson

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

It is 930 am, and although my day is going well so far, I'd like to leave work, head to the Pancake House for a fine breakfast spread with a mimosa, then go home, turn both the fan and the air conditioning on high, put one of those cd's that has nothing but the sounds of rain and thunderstorms, put ESPN sportscenter on mute, have lots of sex, and the go into a deep 4 hour sleep.

After Hours - Ronny Jordan

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

My name is Rashad, I am a smartass, and I need to reel it in a bit. Some degree of smartassedness (I am well aware that this isn't remotely close to a real word) is ok. Other times, it comes off as really condescending and its hurts peoples feelings, and I think both the good and bad smartass Rashad made appearances yesterday. I stepped into a check cashing spot yesterday around 5:30pm to get a roll of quarters, and after waiting in line for 20 minutes, the lady in the front said she had no quarters. I said you don't have any quarters? And she said no. I am quite sure I had an exasperated look on my face when I left, and I was on my way out of the door, when a MENSA member said to me, "You may want to try a bank", to which I responded, "You're pretty smart aren't you", and he just ignored me. Now I realize I should have just said thank you, but I also realized that he could have kept his mouth shut. We'll call that a draw. The second instance involving my smartass mouth occurred later on that night when I said something ill-advised to my ladyfriend, and that was WAY out of line. Without going into details, she said to me that she expects me to be that way with others but not with her, and she is absolutely correct. Now I am in no way going to retire my smart mouth, because there are times when its just absolutely necessary. I just need to screen them just a little better. The sad part about this, is I think I wrote an entry similar to this last year. Or maybe its just senility kicking in..

Another Part Of Me - Michael Jackson

Monday, October 01, 2007

So last night, in between football games, I made it a point to catch Clarence Thomas' interview on 60 minutes. I met Mr. Thomas back in '94 at a Borders bookstore in Fairfax, VA and my father was with me. I remember Thomas saying that most black people up to that point shunned or berated him in public, so he was pleasantly surprised at the behavior of my father and I. My father did most of the talking, but I was just struck on how calm and attentive he was when he really didn't have to be. Well last night I earned even more respect for the man, because all of his views, whether I agreed with them or not, were not only well thought out, but they were said with conviction. He didn't back down or vacillate because the cameras were on him. I still think Clarence gets a bad rap not so much for who he is, but for who he is not. He is not the type of black man who will overtly champion causes for the black race(whatever that means these days), and given that he presides over the highest court in the land he can't do that anyway. There are some who will argue that BECAUSE he's in the Supreme Court, he SHOULD be vigiliant in defending "us". But if that's not in his heart to do, we certainly can't hate on the man. And the second thing(or person) that he is not is Thurgood Marshall. Before Thurgood even got into the Supreme Court, he was known for his role in the Brown vs the Board of Ed case, which led to desegregation(although some of "us" will argue that was a mistake). Thurgood never hesitated to voice his liberal views, and I think because Clarence seems to be the exact opposite, he gets a lot criticism..some of it justified, some of it now. I respect that man regardless. He needs a wife upgrade though. She's the one on the left.

Just to follow up yesterday's entry on my friend's retirement dinner. This morning, while watching Sportscenter, I noticed that Craig Biggio, a second basemen for the Houston Astros, received his farewell standing ovation. He could barely keep himself from crying, because the entire crowd took time to show their appreciation via ovations, signs, and cheers. But the final straw was when his kids gave him personal thank yous on the big screen, and then he really lost it. It was just one of those special moments in sports, and I should be so lucky to receive such an ovation when I retire or move to another job, etc.

The Gift - Roy Hargrove