Monday, March 31, 2008

Since I was tagged by her, and since she followed directions and did hers, I shall do a top 8 list as well, and my list will be entitled, "Top 8 mancrushes"

Now, every man has some kind of heterosexual crush on another man. My brother has a crush on Joe Budden. My father has a crush on the original Temptations, the media HAD a crush on Obama, now they switched to his pastor, and finally, Mr. John Madden has a SERIOUS crush on Brett Favre. None of these crushes are sexual(at least I don't think) these are simply men that we will fight for in an argument/discussion. I hope you can see the distinction, although I haven't done a great job in clarifying..anyway on to this list:

8)John Edgar Wideman. I discovered his books during my junior year at Hampton, and I was immediately hooked. I got my hands on every piece of literature he every wrote, and I just kept reading. I even did my senior thesis on this man, and 4 years after college I brought this senior this to him at a conference where he was speaking. I went up to him, shook his hand, and I asked him to read it and provide comments. Shockingly, I never heard back from him. My favorite book of his: Philadelphia Fire

7) Kareem Abdul Jabbar. I'm writing an article on him for another site this evening, so I don't want to give away too much. Just read the damn article on Wednesday.

6) Eric Roberson. January 20, 2006, a friend of mine came in town, and took me to one of his shows. I had heard of some of his earlier work, but I hadn't really been too interested in hearing his recent offerings. After hearing his performance on that day, I was hooked. I bought up every piece of music of his I could get my hands on, I used to make people listen (i still do this to my girlfriend), and I basically because a groupie. I would go to 4 or 5 of his shows a year, and one time(at band camp) while I was on lunch break, I saw him in a music store, and I shook his hand.

5) Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon. One has a daily radio show, the other has a weekly chat online. One is on Monday Night football, the other covers the NBA for ABC/ESPN. They both write for the Washington Post, and they do a daily show on ESPN called Pardon the Interruption, and I don't miss ANYTHING they do. On Mondays, Michael Wilbon calls into Tony's show, and I'm in heaven when that happens. And it just so happens that they both can write, and their sensibilities jive with mine.

4) Bill Simmons. He has the job I want. He writes about sports. He does podcasts about sports. He submits columns about 3 times a week about any sports story that tickles his fancy. He's written a book about the Boston Red Sox and other things. And at times, he even lets his wife write his column for him. I try to make my girlfriend read and listen to everything he does, and I know its annoying, but frankly I don't care.

3)Ralph Wiley. He remains the best writer I have ever read. He passed in 2004, and I remember when I heard it on the radio, i cried like a baby. I met him one time, and in that 15 minute period he both inspired and challenged me to not only write, but to make sure people read what I had to say. His roots were in sports, but he wrote about social, political and racial issues as well. He died watching an NBA finals game with his wife, and nobody wants to die, but if you're going to go, there's nothing wrong with going like that. He has numerous archived articles on, and he's written numerous books.

2) Michael Jackson. You know how everyone was in love with Michael and his talent in the 80s and early 90s? Yeah well I'm still in that mode. He can do NO wrong with his music. What he does away from the music, I can't vouch for...

1) Mr. Tiger Woods. I didn't even care about golf before he came along. Now, whenever he plays, I am watching. If I can't watch, I check my phone or the internet to see how he's doing. I've read some of his books, I read all articles on him, and I even have a hat with his logo on it. When Tiger first won the Masters, he made a beeline to his father, and hugged him tight and I cried. When Tiger won his first tournament after his father passed, he broke down crying, and I was crying right along with him. But above and beyond all this crying business, the reason I like Tiger has to do with his dominance. He is by FAR the best golfer out there, yet he's never satisfied with his craft and I respect that.

That's it, that's the list.

Stan - Eminem

Sunday, March 30, 2008

I feel guilty for not going to church sometimes. My mother is a pastor, my grandparents are steeped in the church, and when I talk to these people and they slip in the "have you found a church?" question, it makes me feel momentarily guilty. Even my brother and his wife go to church more consistently than me, considering I'm older, I guess I should be example of what to do. Honestly? I know this is very selfish, but I just don't feel like going to church. I don't want to talk to other people, I don't sit through announcements, I ideally just want to hear a sermon, give some money, then be slipped out of the back door like I'm a celebrity. But if that was really how I felt, I wouldn't have this gnawing guilt on certain(not every) Sundays.

Back in 2003, I made a commitment to attend a church down the street from me, and for about 2 or 3 months I was Mr. Church. I attended bible study, I attended Sunday sermons, I fellowshipped with the people, and for a couple of months, I was that annoying friend we all have who discovers something new and won't shut the hell up about it. I must admit it felt good to be that way, and although I still wasn't living right in other aspects of my life, I felt I was definitely on the right path. Then I tried to talk to the pastor(who just a few years older than I was), and I remember the he basically blew me off, so he could talk to the long lines of women who were behind me. Now I understand that he was a single pastor and all, but still, here was his chance to reel me in , when clearly I was still on the fence about this whole church thing. But he didn't, so I was basically said, "f*&k this", and I abruptly stopped. I mean sure I'd read my bible occasionally, and I would still fast and read pertinent scriptures, but my fervor was totally gone off the one bad experience. My mistake was that I put way too much stock in the pastor, when I should have been listening to what he had to say, and then putting in my own terms.

But 5 years later, I still don't have the consistency in that area of my life the way I should, and today (after watching Joel Osteen) it bothers me a bit. I'll never be that every Sunday churchgoer, but I definitely need to find a compromise somewhere. Lord knows I have been blessed over the past year considering the health issues I've head, and the fire I survived.

I think of a version of this blog at least 3 times now, I think I'll start trying to do something about Sunday of course.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

As I was leaving my job yesterday, I noticed that the security guard who normally watches my building had balloons and cards all around his work station. Initially, I just assumed it was his birthday, and as I walked closer to him, I started to prepare my mini-happy birthday speech. But once I got closer to both he and his balloons, the word retirement jumped out at me, and I had to rework my speech. I looked over at the security guard, and he had a broad smile on his face.

Tracey(that's his name) is an older black man, and if I had to guess, I would say he's about 65 or so. I have a special place in my heart for older black men, because I am quite sure they went through some hardship that I couldn't possibly fathom. In fact, some mornings I would over hear him telling stories to people, and I would smile to myself as I headed toward the elevator. He just seemed like the kind of man, who I could sit around and drink Colt 45 with, while he told me how it used to be. I have two grandfathers living(although my father's dad died when I was just 3), but neither one of them were the let-me-sit-around-and-tell-you-a-story type men. Luckily for me, I have had a many men around me who more than filled that void.

Anyway, as I walked up to Tracey, there were at least 6 or 7 people around him wishing him luck during his retirement. I instantly wished that I had known earlier that he was leaving, because i would have bought him a card or something. Instead, I just waded through the crowd of people, extended my hand, and i said, "Good luck Tracey." He stopped what he was doing, looked me square in the eye, and said, "Thank you youngster". And that was it, I left out the building and looked back, and the mini crowd around him at re-formed.

During my commute home, I felt a certain degree of sadness about it all. I started wondering, has he been a security guard all his life? Was he able to enjoy himself, or did work consume totally? Does he have kids, can they take care of him, etc,etc. And then I snapped out of it and told myself, that he was a man who presumably retired on his own terms, and he was ready to tackle the next phase of his life whatever that was going to be, and I left it at that.

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay - Otis Redding

Friday, March 28, 2008

The NBA playoffs are a couple of weeks away, in case you didn't know. Just in case you're a non sports fan, you may be asking yourself, "well what the hell does that mean to me?" Lucky for you, I am here to answer such rhetorical questions. What it means is that every Wednesday(and possibly more times than that ) I will be writing an article over on I have that linked over on the right side of this here blog, but I sincerely doubt many of you click on it, but you should. Thanks to my main man Ryan, I will now have the chance to flex my sports writing skills(or lack thereof) once again. So please, click on the site now, click on it tomorrow, but deff nat lay(British accent) click on it on Wednesday to read what words I was able to string together in a semi coherent fashion.

Every now and then I get comments(always anonymous of course) from people who don't like what I've written and the way I've written it. Or sometimes they just downright think I'm some type of mean person, which is simply ignorant(say that in Michael Jackson voice). Compared to how my attitude was when I first started this blog, I think I have taken that leap up from being a jerk, to being a person with a bit of humility. I am truly, madly and deeply sorry the eyes of some of my anonymous commenters can't see that. But I'll never publish too many of those comments, because it messes up my kwan, and dammit this is a dictatorship.

Ok now that I've insulted people, now I'm going ask for help. I am looking for this print to hang in my house. I have been on many websites, but I haven't found this exact print, and I am pretty adamant that it has to be this specific one. If you know of a website that has it, please leave it in the comment section, and even if you do it anonymously, I will still be grateful.

Christmas Time Is Here - Vince Guaraldi Trio

I know its not Christmas, but its such a pretty song(made famous by Charlie Brown).

Thursday, March 27, 2008

So I had my first date with a man last night. And before you go thinking I'm turning into a Morehouse man or even Elton John, allow me to explain myself(plus I couldn't pass up the opportunity to use that as an opening sentence). My girlfriend and her friend have been secretly plotting for months to get me and the other boyfriend to hang out. They won't openly admit it, but I suspect some clandestine meetings and negotiations were in motion. We all met up at a movie one time, but frankly, it takes guys a while to warm up to other guys. Its nothing personal, but its the same reason why most males have no more than 3 friends they hang out with at a time. Its just too much to handle. So I doubt either one of us took it personally when barely 5 words were spoken after the movie, while the ladies chatted it up.

So yesterday the master plan was for us all to meet up at the new gym down the street from my house. The ladies would work out in the weight room, and the fellas would play basketball on the court below the gym. My lady and I are thinking of joining the gym, so last night served as a dry run, and I must admit I looked forward to it all day (playing ball, not the date). And as it turns out, basketball was just the ice breaker that me and this other dude needed. We talked about how long it had been since we played, we sized up the competition together, I rebounded for him and vice versa, we played on the same time, and we basically both sucked. I hadn't really played since last summer, and he admitted the same, but that didn't matter. What REALLY mattered is that we had a great date, and everyone admitted that this will become an habitual thing. Although on a bad note, my date did get elbowed in the eye during the game, that left quite a mark. I didn't defend him the way I should have, but I was trying to keep my anger to a minimum since this was my initial visit to the gym. And, my calves started to roll up on me during my last game, and I took an ill advised shot, and one of my teammates yelled at me. So when I return next Wed, I'll have a much better report.

By the way, the sponge woman I mentioned yesterday is in her early 40s, so that explains why she uses that particular birth control method. And if anyone one of my 4 female readers uses the female condom, I would really like to hear some stories about that. It looks REAL uncomfortable and cumbersome.

The following song was played during the ending credits of Jungle Fever, and its entitled, "Feeding Off the Love of the Land", and its sung and written by Mr. Stevie Wonder. I have yet to find an mp3 of this song, so I leave you with this:

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

So yesterday when my lady arrives home from work, she informs me that her good friend from Minnesota requested that she carry out a mission for her. And that mission was to find as many sponges as she possibly could find in the DC/MD area. Not the sponges that you could use to scrub your kitchen and bathroom, but the The Today Sponge made famous by Elaine from Seinfeld 10 years ago. Apparently this sponge will be removed from the market again, and my lady's friend uses this as her birth control weapon of choice, so she wants to accost as many sponges as she possibly can. There's nothing wrong with that in my eyes however...

WHO THE HELL STILL USES THE SPONGE? I'm no Wilt Chamberlain or Hugh Hefner, but I've gotten a little trim in my day, and never in my life have I encountered a woman who uses these things, and when I ask both my male and female friends, none of them have encountered a sponge user either. Its a wonder that they haven't gone out of business much sooner. From my understanding(and please someone correct me if I'm wrong) these things have to be inserted like 12 hours before an action jumps off..which means that before you even open one of these things, you have to pretty damn sure your male partner is going to cooperate. I can just see that phone conversation now:

Man: Baby I can't come over tonight I'm tired
Woman: But you said, you were coming over at--
Man: Did you hear what I said, baby i'm tired, maybe tomorrow
woman: but I put in(man hangs up) my sponge

And then the woman has to take that long walk to the bathroom to remove and eventually dispose of the sponge. Or she possibly could call someone else who doesn't even deserve any goodies from her, just to put good use to this contraption inside her That's just demoralizing man, but then again, maybe there are some magical benefits that my 33 year old mind just cannot wrap itself around.

By the way, to that anonymous commenter who gave me step by step instructions on how to fix my ipod, YOU my friend are a champion of honesty. I really appreciate it. I was listening to boring basketball podcasts this morning like I had never missed a beat.

Letitgo - Prince

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

"They" say that when you encounter challenging problems, that a positive way of thinking is the way to go. This doesn't change the situation you're in, but it does provide you with a different approach to tackling the problem. So I will attempt to execute this approach right after I bitch and complain a bit. Consider this an early airing of grievances.

1)My IPOD is broken, and I don't know what the hell happened. Last night it was working like a charm, and this morning, as I got ready to run, I pressed play, and it just froze, and two and a half hours later, its still frozen. I had to listen to my keys and my own breath while I ran, and then this morning on the way to work, I had to hear countless, pointless convos of my fellow commuters. I need someone smarter than me on these matters to tell what the hell happened. Although there could be some symbolism at work here, since my ex bought me that damn thing. She's been replace and upgraded, perhaps my IPOD deserves the same treatment.

2)During my morning run, this jackass tried to stop me and ask for directions. He had so many things working against him it was ridiculous. One, its 5am, I have on a black hat, black gloves, and I could have very easily robbed his lost ass. Two, I was CLEARLY winded, as opposed to just walking around on a leisurely 5am stroll while its dark outside. And three, the street he was looking for was like 100 yards ahead of him. So I didn't bother stopping, I just used my finger(unfortunately not the middle one) and pointed towards the street

3) There is no heat in my brand spanking new apartment that I paid a hefty security deposit to move into. Its bad enough that I even need the heat on in late March, but I can deal with that. What I cannot deal with is being cold when I go to sleep and again when I wake up, and I damn sure don't want my lady being in the same boat. I have to make that call to the property manager today at 9, and I am praying to the good Lord, that I summon kind, calm words, as opposed to the way I want to approach it, which is to call he and his mother out of his name. And if he gives the company line(we'll see what we can do), then I will consider that my cue to go crazy on him. I should be comfortable at home, not bundled up like I live in Chicago.

Alright I'll think positive now. let the healing begin.

I Try - Will Downing
I Try - Angela Bofill

I couldn't decide which one I wanted to hear more, so I put them both up.

Monday, March 24, 2008

You think Obama and his pastor have the makings of a scandal?? Are we forgetting about Jesse and Hymietown? Just in case you have, allow Mr. Eddie Murphy to give you a refresher:

I saw this picture online yesterday after Davidson pulled off a major upset of Georgetown in the NCAA tournament.. The picture is of Patrick Ewing Jr. who is a senior, and has used his final year of college eligibility on the court. Despite his famous name, Ewing Jr. will probably never reach the semi-celebrity status he had while at this university. He's a long shot to make it to the NBA, and while playing overseas or in this country in a lesser known league are both viable options, it is a severe letdown. He has probably played against guys who are going to sign million dollar contracts for 10-12 years to come. Some of his teammates are underclassmen who have more time to shine and improve their chances at playing in the NBA. Yes, by the simple fact that he is the son of legendary NBA player Patrick Ewing, he will probably never hurt for money, but it really isn't about that. Most college basketball players have dreams of being college stars first, and then parlaying that into a fruitful NBA career. They don't think about the fact that they can get a degree from a prestigious university, and they don't think about the long career they could possibly have in another line of work. As you can see in the picture, all they can think about is the finality of it all. And I'm sure someone reading this won't feel sorry for them, and will get on their high horse about THEIR lives and THEIR lost opportunities, and that's fine. On this Monday morning, I feel bad for this kid, and I hope he finds something that makes him as happy as basketball at Georgetown had made him prior to yesterday's loss..

Yesterday - Donny Hathaway

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Whenever I take a shower over someone's house, the first thing I do is examine the soap situation, and there are generally three options: 1)girly soap 2)regular liquid soap 3)regular bar soap. Option 2 is the best option, because this allows you to get in and out with little to no though. Girly soap is not ideal, but it generally can be drowned out with cologne and manly soap. Sometimes you may get lucky, and you'll be able to bathe in Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Soap, which makes one tingle in magical places. But to me, the worse possible option is to roll up on a bar of soap.

When this happens, I never know whether the person who lives there uses a wash cloth or just the raw bar of soap, and unfortunately I have seen both. I never understand how folks get clean using ONLY a bar of soap and no wash cloth. I'm sure you can get the external body parts clean, but without getting TOO graphic, there are certain areas of the body that are crying out for a wash cloth or loofah, not the actual bar of soap. And if someone goes there with just a bar a soap, then frankly that is disgusting. The sad part is, you can't ask someone if they use wash cloths, because that may offend them, so its a judgement call. Luckily for me this morning, I had a liquid soap option, but when I saw the bar of soap sitting there it crossed my mind.

This is the first Easter in YEARS, I haven't been in church..not by coincidence, this the first Sunday in years, that my mother hasn't been in the area. If it weren't for copious amounts of basketball on television, I would feel guilty. But to those of you who did attend church, tell me all about it later. And Happy Easter!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

The most uncomfortable part about buying something off craigslist is the initial face to face meeting. By the time you meet this person face to face, you've traded emails or had conversations about where to meet, what time, and the condition the product is in. And then when you finally meet that person, you need a bit of small talk, before the person actually gives you what you are prepared to buy. So today, I attempted to buy a relatively new coffee table from this woman, and we had discussed all of the necessary details. I arrived at her door that was already open, and I wasn't greeted by her small talk at all which was relief. But what I was greeted with was a big ass German shepherd, who bolted through the door, jumped at me, and started biting the hell out of my arm. About 15 seconds later, the dog's owner came and got the dog off me, but man i was thisclose to kicking that dog's ass(yeah right). So it got me to wondering..was this woman's dog just being a good watchdog, or could it be that this dog was be the judge.

Anyway, I got the coffee table, brought it back, and now my living room actually looks presentable. Not that I'll having an abundance of visitors, but still it is nice to be able to say that.

Thank you for listening.

Friday, March 21, 2008

At one point yesterday, the property manager and two building maintenance guys were standing in the hallway of my apartment trying to find the source of my leaky vent. One was holding a ladder, the other was on top of the ladder, and the annoying property manager was chatting me up about basketball, his rough first days on the job, and other pointless topics. I was hoping my phone would ring or at the very least the other two guys would discover something to get this dude off my back, but no such luck. I know things need to be fixed, but its such a violation to have people you don't know parading around your spacae like they DO know you. Same with the folks who delivered my couch..they had to put it together, and for 20 minutes they were all in my living room. And to add to my angst, I didn't have any cash to tip the brothers for their hard work, so I felt guilty. .Although that delivery fee was $150, so I really shouldn't have to tip right?

I refuse to discuss how good or bad I am doing in my various NCAA pools until Sunday when the first two rounds are completed. I've had some people prematurely talk some jive to me, and I haven't really said anything back, because it is a marathon not a race, slow and steady wins the race, its not the size its the motion..and any other of those b.s cliches fit here. The truth of the matter is I am pissed about how I've started, and I need things to change today and quickly, or I'm deleting all the pools at once. And yes i am a sore loser.

Have you ever had so much on your mind that it abruptly wakes you out of your sleep and stays there for a good hour or so? I have so much on my mind these days, that I feel like I am neglecting some aspect of my life every time I go to sleep. Career changes, sex, apartment decorations, exercise, sex, eating right, writing everyday, family issues and the forgotten one, sex. I think I should put a whiteboard up somewhere in my house, and put a series of checklists up with small boxes next to it. This would allow me to see minor victories(or baby steps as Bob would say), and I could get back to restoring order in my life, because right now it just feels chaotic and frenetic.

Silent Running - Mike and the Mechanics

Thursday, March 20, 2008

So today, like most people have experienced at one point or another, I am being held hostage. Some get held hostage by the cable companies, others are made to feel trapped via the phone company, and then you have people like me, who are held against their will by a furniture company. They told me that my new couch should be delivered some time between 8am and 1pm, and frankly I was mighty impressed that they were able to give me such a pinpoint accurate 5 hour period of time. So yesterday I had to tell my boss that I'd be into work somewhere between 8:30 and 1:30, and she gave me this look that said she didn't believe me at all. I know she thinks I'm taking off work, because the NCAA tournament starts today, and I want to stay home to watch games, but that is just a beautiful coincidence. On top of that, I am waiting for maintenance man to come fix a leak in my apartment among other things, so there will be all kinds of personal space violations this morning, which also means that I need to start writing down an entire list of small talk options, so I don't come off as a total anti-social idiot..which brings me to another point...

On Monday my groceries were delivered(yes m'lady and I get our groceries delivered but we are bourgie, or privileged, we're just lazy..there's a distinct difference). The groceries were supposed to arrive between 5pm and 7pm (now THAT's a window of time I can live with), but instead we get a phone call saying they will arrive closer to 8:30 pm. So the delivery guy strolls in my apartment lobby with the groceries, and as the transaction is being wrapped up, he asks my lady for a tip. I IMMEDIATELY wanted to say hell no, but my lady being the sweet woman that she is, said she'd go upstairs and get one. So me, the groceries, my lady and this delivery guy all went upstairs, and I REALLY didn't want him helping me carry them, but he brought his nosy ass right on up here. Now to me, the protocol is that you don't just walk in some one's house. But if you do, you keep your head down, shut the hell up and get out. This dude takes the groceries ALL the way in the kitchen, stands in my living room, comments about my laptop, and the proceeds to chat it up with me(I said nothing). Finally my lady came back with some cash, and he was on his merry way. The raw, immature side of me wanted to string together some gift wrapped expletives as he left, but again, I'm allegedly mature(see the naked mannequins below). Still, he was dead wrong...

You have exactly 2 and one half hours to join this pool. I feel like a pastor trying to get a new member here...we have 12 folks already..will there be another? Do you want to take that step? The details:

The group ID # is 60391
the group name is synchronicity
the password is : rashad

http://tournament. fantasysports. yahoo. com/

Let Me Be The One - Mint Condition

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I took this picture today, because I think its appalling that an establishment would put 4 nude mannequins in the window. But the immature side of me couldn't stop looking and laughing, so decide to share..

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

So as I was buying my lady's birthday card yesterday, an arrogant thought ran across my mind, which means it most definitely was going to make an appearance in the blog. The thought was that I don't really respect people who buy cards, and then just sign them at the bottom. To me, that takes little to no thought, and even though you may have spent upwards of $3 on that card, your gesture is nullified by the lack of creativity shown. Now I certainly understand that not everyone is a writer, who can dazzle, shock and awe on the blank canvas that Hallmark provides, but come on...If you're giving a card to someone, the assumption is that you feel some kind of way about them as well, and meaningful words should be at the tip of your fingers. In fact I would go as far as to say that if any of you people get a card from me, and I DON'T write in it, that means I hate you.

So yesterday while I was at the bar, I saw something that I have noticed quite a few times over the years, and that is the person I like to call the bar wanderer. This is the person who hovers over everyone's back, because all of the seats at the bar are taken and spoken for already. This person hunts for a seat at the bar, like a 5 year old just learning to navigate a keyboard. This person searches for a sliver of an opening between patrons, so he or she can order a drink, pay for said drink, pick up the drink, and then when they are done, they slide their dirty, empty glass right in front of the privileged bar sitters. It is annoying, its pitiful, but I have been that guy before and I gotta tell you its a frustrating position to be placed in. I saw a guy yesterday who was so desperate to sit down at the bar, that he was making small talk with two women who CLEARLY didn't want to hear what he had to say and vice versa, but it was all about sitting down. He stood about for about 30 minutes, and by the time a seat became available, he had already paid his tab, and it was time to go. I realize this is probably fascinating to no one, but I find it quite humorous, and the next time you decide to hit the bar, check it out.

Stevie Wonder, David Paterson and Ray Charles. All three are blind. All three are black. And all three get/got more sex that I can shake a stick at. Stevie has like 8 kids, Ray Charles has enough kids to fill up the first 4 rows at a church, and apparently David Paterson was getting a repeated side action on his wife(who in all fairness was getting some action of her own). I think i'll stare at sun a little longer than usual this morning.

Christina Aguilera - Nasty Naughty Boy
So yesterday, about five minutes after the second and final installment of ESPN's, Black Magic went off, my father called me(as he so often does in these instances), so that we could talk about what we just saw. He told me about the players he saw play, and he discussed how he thinks every young basketball player black or white, should know these stories and then he told me about going to the Rucker tournament as a student at Columbia. And all while he was talking, I thought to myself, what kinds of stories will I have to tell my son as I get older? Will he want to hear about me terrorizing folks on train? Will he want to her about how I survived after a fire? Or will he want to know what its like to attend an HBCU? I really have no clue, but I DO know is that I want to handle these situation with great aplomb the way my father always seems to do. Who knows where I would be without that..

The other thing that bothered me about watching that program last night, was that my son wasn't watching. The show was on from 9-11pm, which is an hour past my son's bed time. When I was his age, my father would make an exception, and let me stay up late, and then we'd talk about what we saw much like I mentioned in the paragraph above. My son's mother wasn't having it, and while it pissed me off, the last thing I want to do is tell a woman how to run her household. But I wrote ESPN, and they gave me both the re-air dates for the program, and the DVD release date, so one way or another, he'll see it. Ok enough about that..

Based on the problems Obama has had with some of the members and his campaign and his pastor, I think he needs to call a secret meeting with everyone involved in his life past or present. He should bring everyone together in one room, and he should have a speech prepared, that goes a little something like this, "I'm going to need each and every one of you people to shut the hell up until Jan 20, 2009, when I am inaugurated, because if you cost me this presidency, I will gun you down" And then at that point, he should introduce all of his people to the snipers he will have brought in to further bang home his point. Had he done this early last year, he wouldn't have all the trouble he's having now. Its not that Obama's support group shouldn't be able to speak their mind, because that's every one's right(allegedly), but when so much is at stake, it wouldn't kill folks to put a muzzle on it temporarily. Hillary and McCain may want to look into this method as well, to save themselves from the johnny-on-the-spot damage control that so many of these candidates have to do.

Why haven't you joined my pool? I'm a reasonable guy, I pay my taxes, I tithe(lies), and I give 156% every time and blog(except for the haiku), so why won't you return the favor and join the pool. Not to get all Sally Struthers on you, but its free, it costs you nothing, and there's no money involved...only the humiliation of losing to me, and you can ask my girlfriend(happy birthday dear) about how it feels to lose to me repeatedly..its not so bad. so here's the info:

The group ID # is 60391
the group name is synchronicity
the password is : rashad

http://tournament. fantasysports. yahoo. com/

Edith and the Kingpin - Herbie Hancock featuring Tina Turner
I wish Tina sang jazz like this more often, she sounds sexy as hell in this she's in a smoky lounge wearing a long dress with a high split and a hint of cleavage showing

Monday, March 17, 2008

Monday mornings are always an emotionally fragile time for me. The weekend has kicked my ass, I'm usually waking up 2 hours earlier than I have been the previous two days, and on THIS particular morning, it is about 20 degrees colder than it was all weekend. Yet, there is one action that can take the anger already present on Mondays, and kick it up a notch, and that is when someone steps on the back of your shoe. This happened to me as I got ready to get on the train this morning, and to make things worse, after the woman did it, she didn't say sorry, excuse me, my bad or anything. Even if she had gently touched my shoulder, instead of opening her mouth, I would have let her slide. So, because the train was so crowded, she ended up standing directly in front of me, once we entered the train's doors. I quickly removed my headphones, looked her square in the eye, and I said, "So you're just going to step all on my shoes like that shit is ok?" She looked up at me, her face turned red, and she said(all in one word): "ohmygodimsosorryaboutthatareyouok?" I responded by saying I was fine, but I just wanted some acknowledgement that she had stepped all on my ankle, and she muttered some b.s., but by that time, my headphones were already making their way back to my ears, so I could listen to some 2pac to get me stoked for the remainder of this Manic Monday Madness. But i'm still pissed about that.

Ok now on to the important stuff. If you are interested in playing in my NCAA pool, the info is as follows..keep in mind the pool is on yahoo

The group ID # is 60391
the group name is synchronicity
the password is : rashad

come one, come all:

It doesn't matter if you know sports or not, because I find that the luckiest bastards, are those folks who know nothing. If I can get more than 10 people to play this year, I think I'll add money to the mix, but I'm not making any promises.

GAME ON!!!!!

Game Theory - The Roots

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Ok so I watched ESPN's Black Magic program tonight on HBCU basketball, and all it did is make me angry. I watched numerous older black men speak of opportunities that were lost, not because they weren't talented, not because they weren't willing to sacrifice their individual talents for the team, but simply because they were black. I think every player in high school, college and even in the pros should be required to watch this documentary, so they can appreciate the privileges they now have as a result of these older black men. Granted, I just finished watching, so my emotions are raw, but I doubt my feelings will change. As I was telling my ladyfriend, when you watch programs like this, you can totally understand why people over 50 get so mad at someone like Geraldine Ferraro and her comments about Barack. If you get a chance PLEASE watch part two of this ESPN documentary.
My boy Sabin from college came in town for a little while today, on his way back to Detroit, and we just spent a couple of hours catching up on each other and talking about various topics. Sabin was my roommate during my freshmen and senior years of college, and we've been through lots of humorous stories together, but now we've allegedly matured, and although the conversation still has elements of humor, we also have real life stories to trade as well. Even after all these years, we still can find common ground, for a person like me who has so few friends, that feels damn good..although i must admit, the fact that I have known him for 16 years, makes me feel old.

Also, if you are around a television at 9pm tonight and tomorrow night, ESPN is doing a program on black college basketball entitled, Black Magic. I know its no longer black history month, but that doesn't lessen the importance of a documentary like this...its rare that black college BASKETBALL get this type of shine.

that's all today, i have dinner to make and clothes to wash

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I will break last night's concert down in about 3 or 4 parts, starting with..

The Glass of Wine

Now, I know the protocol when you go to concerts like this, is to drink a little before the show starts, because any alcoholic beverages at the show will be insanely priced. Well my lady and I had a little bit to drink at the house, but clearly it wasn't enough because when we strolled into Constitution Hall, we mutually made the terrible decision to head to the makeshift bar in the lobby. Wine was $8, and when you think about it, that isn't too bad, considering if we went out to dinner, we would pay about that much per glass. However it was the vessel that would be housing the wine we drank, that I had a problem with. To call it a glass, would be disrespectful to the fine reputation glass products have built over the years. This was more like a cup, that was the size of the top of a mouthwash bottle. By the time I got the taste of the wine, it was gone, and I didn't dare spend another $8. And then the concert staff had the nerve to tell folks that they could bring their drinks into the concert hall, as if it was too overwhelming to tackle the mouthwash in the lobby. I think this was my only complaint of the night

Raheem Devaughn

Now the last time I saw this man in concert was back in 2005, when he opened for New Edition and Brian McKnight, and I wasn't all that impressed. His show had the feel of a local artist who was happy to make it, and considering how professional New Edition and Brian were, Raheem's showmanship or lack thereof stuck out in a major way. Three years later, he's cut his cornrows, he's embraced the concept of wearing a suit, his band is WAY tighter, and now his show has polish. The one thing that has NOT changed over the years, is the strength of his voice, which is excellent. He ran through the songs from his first and second albums without missing a beat, he ran through the crowd during his big hit, "Woman", and at one point he even brought DC legend, Sugar Bear out to do a quick version of "Da Butt" from School Daze fame. But the highlight of the show was the fact that he had giant white flash cards to let everyone know what song he was singing. The honest truth is that I don't know Raheem's second album the way I know the first, so there were times when I was like, "What song is this?", but then, as if he was in an INXS video, he would hold up the giant flashcard, and all would be well with the world. It was golden.

Jill Scott

I saw Jill Scott on stage back in 2002, at the Roots $2 Bill show in Washington DC, and she was only on stage for about 10 minutes, but she absolutely killed it. She had personality and a range of vocals that totally blew me away. Fast forward 6 years, add seasoning, a divorce, and wisdom to that same woman, and what you have is a virtuoso performance. I've heard people(mainly women) say that Jill Scott annoys them sometimes because of her occasional preachiness, and I guess I could see that. But I enjoyed ALL sides of Jill Scott. There were times when she seemed to be sad and reflective on her divorce. There were definitely moments when she got a little bit preachy about how men and women should conduct themselves in relationships, but I never felt like I was being beat over the head. And then, as evidenced by her version of "Crown Royal" there were numerous moments that just oozed with sexuality, and that was just fine by me. I was telling my lady that Jill is one of the few artists, that actually sounds better live than she does on the Cd, and tonight didn't prove me wrong at all. She also brought out a DC legend(Chuck Brown), but since I'm not go-go fan this didn't move me as much as if moved the DC crowd. The highlight of the show to me was the opera version of "He Loves Me" that Jill sang. I really didn't think she would sing this song, since it was written for her now ex-husband, but she sang it perfectly opera style and showed off her vocal range.

Overall it was a damn good night, and most importantly my lady enjoyed her early birthday present so that's what really matters.

Only You - Jill Scott

Friday, March 14, 2008

Last night, while watching the NBC Nightly News, I viewed a brief segment on the candidates and their foreign policies. During this segment, Hillary Clinton spoke about how her experience was much more extensive than Obama's. To hammer this point home, she listed all the foreign countries she's travelled to, and she mentioned what she did during each of those visits. She listed so many countries, that at one point I fully expected Phife and Q-Tip to start rapping. I maintain that a president needs to have the smarts to hire people with extensive foreign policy experience, because it is unrealisitc that they will be doing the heavy lifting in that department. But here was Hillary sticking her neck out saying she was to be counted on, because of what she did during her husband's tenure. So it was during this segment, that I decided to come up with the "Backup Quarterback Theory" which fits perfectly for Hillary.

A backup quarterback is always the most popular player on the team, because they are seen as the savior once the starting QB has a bad quarter, let alone a bad game. And then if the starting QB gets hurt, or if the coach decides to go a different direction for a game or two, the backup QB finally gets a shot. 9 times out 10 the backup QB performs beautifully, because they have no pressure on them. If they suck, its no big deal, because backup QBs are backups for a reason. If they perform well, they get credit from the team and the coach, but they know that eventually they will lose their jobs to the starting QB again. BUT, when these backup QBs are made permanent starters, they usually suck. The no pressure attitude is gone, and now they are expected to succeed ALL the time, not just when someone else gets hurt, and this is when their weaknesses are truly exposed. And I think Hillary Clinton and her foreign policy "experience" is a backup QB situation just waiting to happen. It took a long time for me to get that out..Other observations:

-How much of a sports nerd am I? I spent my entire walk to work(yes I still walk, its a great compliment to my 3 mile runs), I listened a podcast that would help me draft fantasy baseball players, and I found myself getting insanely hyped up.

- I hate Lebron James and the hype around him with a passion, so you can imagine how elated I was that my beloved Washington Wizards defeated his team last night in DC. I would like to apologize to my girlfriend, because I was an emotional wreck during the game, and I know for a fact that it affected our Scrabble game. But I simply was NOT going to let my team lose, and I think the energy I was able to transfer from my house to the arena(which is 5 miles away)definitely worked.

- I am going to see Jill Scott and Raheem Devaughn tonight, as my lady's 5 day long birthday extravaganza kicks off. I am pretty excited about the show, even though I have seen both acts before. I never get tired of seeing Jill perform, and I'm sure Raheem will hit a note or sing a lyric in such a way, that will make it easier for me to get some later tonight, so its a win-win-win. In some ways, I wish I could bring my laptop, because I'm quite sure I could do my mini red carpet show from outside Constitution Hall.

One for 'grew - Robert Glasper
Over the past week, whenever I am tense, I play this song, and it relaxes me. I suggest you do the same.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

On Tuesday when I wrote about my 3 mile morning run, I mentioned that at about the 2 and a half mile mark, I started walking momentarily. And then I saw a spry group of individuals running, and I ran faster, and crushed them like a jellybean. Well this morning I didn't stop at all, and I finished the 3 mile run without walking or stopping..except for one incident. About 100 yards ahead of where I stopped running on Tuesday, I fell like a champ. And it wasn't one of those falls where you kind of drop to your knees, collect yourself and then keep it moving. I fell flat on my stomach man, and it was not pretty. I had just run across the street, and I was getting ready to step on to the sidewalk, but I guess my stride was so powerful, that I stepped over the initial curb and on to a road grate.

Now when I am walking in the city, I usually avoid these grates because 1)I think i'm going to fall down the grate, and then be stuck in a hole only to have this guy from Silence of the Lambs get me out. And 2)these grates are always very slick, which lends itself to nasty falls. Well as soon as my foot hit the grate, a voice in my head went "Nooooooo!", but it was too late and fell head first like I was sliding into third base. I skinned my hands and my knees on the 30 degree pavement, and I felt like a jackass. But, as per the rules in the "When You Fall Handbook", I jumped right back as if there was no injury, and I ran the remaining half a mile or so, without any feeling in my hands or knees. It was quite an embarrassing fall, but luckily for me it before 6, and nobody was on the road, which segues perfectly into one of my top 5 songs from the 80s....I feel like Rob Gordon here.

Boys of Summer - Don Henley

By the way, if it were not for spell check, I would misspell the words embarrassing and Wednesday every damn time.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

So I have a confession. I have never, ever been a fan of the popular HBO series, "The Wire". Over the past couple of years or so, I have had people try to convince me that I need to spend some time watching this show (mostly who were/are women in love with this man), because the acting and the directing was so damn good, and I tried to watch it, but it just never tickled my fancy for many reasons. One, when I think of television shows based on Baltimore, "Homicide, Life On the Street" is still the benchmark. Instead of the big screen movie feel that The Wire has, Homicide always had the feel of a stage play with great actors, great scenes and even better story lines sans the gratuitous violence. So that alone prevents me from REALLY getting into The Wire. Plus, when you REALLY think about what The Wire(and Homicide if I'm being honest)is based on, it is really kind of depressing. Parts of Baltimore just have the feel of Beirut, and the city (and federal really) government has failed the citizens, some of the citizens have failed themselves, and it can get depressing, and I don't need The Wire reminding me of that depression. But that's just me.

I had someone tell me that I am a hypocrite, because I watched the Sopranos every week while it was on, and that was just as violent, and to them I would say two things: 1)No one on the Sopranos looked like me, so its easier to look at it from an entertainment perspective as opposed to internalizing the nuances of it all. and 2)There was more gratuitious nudity in the Sopranos. That's a point that can never be overlooked. Now, all this being said, on Sunday I watched the series finale of The Wire, just so I could be hip and cool, when other folks were discussing it, and I was mad about how clueless I was. So now I have been sucked into starting from season 1, and learning all there is to know about this cult show But I will also order Homicide, just to appreciate and remember what my version of real tv is about.

Oh and just as a follow up to yesterday's story about client #9(who looks like former Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Bill Cowher without the mustache), he still has not resigned, and odds are that he won't anytime soon. BUT, if he does, his successor is a blind, black man named David Paterson. There's a joke in here somewhere, put I am not smart enough to pull it out...that's what he said.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Maybe I am being a bit closed minded, but I really don't think the concept of home schooling is a very wise path to take. Its easy for me to say that, because my parents always made sure they all the neighborhoods we lived in had excellent school, and later on in life my father told me that was always the driving decision behind where we would live. The one exception is when we lived in East Cleveland, Ohio, and even then I attended private schools. I wouldn't dare say that all the teachers were perfect, but between what my parents would teach me while I was home, and what the teachers would teach to me, I think I turned out ok, and well rounded. I wrote on the newspaper, I played sports, I interacted with mostly kids(mostly white, but still), and it was a great experience. Although none of this properly explains why I am so anti-social, but that's another blog entry. So I cannot imagine that home schooling can replace all these wonderful things, and I definitely don't see how that necessary balance can be achieved. I almost feel like its letting the bad to mediocre school systems off the hook. I could be totally off base with this, so I'd welcome some opinions from the other side.

I did my 3 mile run this morning, and it kicked my ass something terrible. This was my first run since before Thanksgiving, and it showed up somewhere between the second and third mile. My limbs started burning, my arms felt like they were underwater, and even the songs on my IPOD were started to sound like they were moving in slow motion, so I did the unthinkable and I started walking...and then about 30 seconds later, I saw a group of people running by me, and my ego kicked into high gear. Not only did I pass this running cult, but I kept on running until I got back to my building and basically passed out in the lobby. This was almost 90 minutes ago, and I am STILL a bit winded, and I am definitely going to feel this this afternoon AND tomorrow morning. But its a start right?

And I think I have found a new occupation to pursue. Yesterday on my way home, I saw an older black man handing out magazines. Now these weren't just your run-of-the-mill(whatever that means) magazines, but rather ones of the adult variety. He was walking down a main street in Washington DC calling out the names of the magazines(I would write them, but I'm at work), and I was amazed this guy was doing this with a straight face. I should have bought something from him, but I had no cash, but today I have made it my mission to purchase some magazines, so that I can "read" to my girl before she goes to sleep tonight. Speaking of adult behavior...

How is it that every year, a politician gets caught up in this kind of scandal? There are way more clever ways for a man to get a little trim on the side, but going to Washington DC and getting down with a call girl is simply not one of them. And while I am at it, playing footsies in a bathroom stall is not exactly an ideal way to get your rocks off either. So I will attempt to give these politicians, and anyone else who chooses to read, a way to get your jollies, without getting embarrassed in front of your wife, your peers, and the people who voted you in office. Take your ass to Brazil. Its cheaper, its in a different country, and the women are way more exotic than the New York call girls. Had you done that Mr. Spitzer you would have your job and possibly even more hair.

Across 110th Street - Bobby Womack

Monday, March 10, 2008

Monday Morning Haiku

Fatigue dominates
Not just mind and body but
My hands and fingers

Desafinado - George Michael

Sunday, March 09, 2008

I am quite sure that no one will care about this but me, but I just put together an IKEA table and chair set and I feel quite a sense of accomplishment. Its akin to finally paying off the one bill that has been lingering for years and years, and I am quite pleased with myself. If any of you people ever cross the burning sands to my apartment, I would like for you to look at the table and marvel at this extremely minor accomplishment.

A couple of hours ago my lady and I went over to my neighbor, and properly thanked him for his wine and welcome note. We gave him a card, shook his hand, and even though he had an I-just-finish-masturbating-look on his face, we made small talk for about 2 minutes and we got the hell out of there. There were no dinner invites extended at need in overdoing it.

I don't know if you anyone else besides me makes good usage of craigslist, but I damn sure do. Over the past 2 years I have gotten tickets to shows, tickets to games, furniture, music, and a couple of good offers. It is kind of awkward to find something online, exchange emails, and then make promises to meet in public somewhere, with someone who you just assume is sane and "normal". What is even more awkward is the money exchange that goes down between the parties...i am rambling here, and it is quite possible that no one knows what the hell I'm talking about..

Tomorrow, after many chest, back and leg ailments, I can finally resume my 3 mile morning runs, and I cannot explain how happy I am about that. All those health issues were making me feel like I was 45 years old, so I'm glad I can function once again. I have 20 more lbs to lose before I can hit that 175 lb weight my doctor asked me to hit.

This entry was awfully self centered...blame in on the lateness of the hour..

Here We Go Again - Portrait

Saturday, March 08, 2008

So today when I returned from picking up a new dresser that was already assembled(we took back the Ikea ones) I noticed that there was a bottle of wine by my door. I picked up the wine, and looked in the sack it was in, and there was a note that said, "Welcome to the Neighborhood" and it was from my new next door neighbor. Now I am a cynical brother, and I am always skeptical of the motives of others, but I was pretty touched by this kind gesture(it doesn't take much to impres me). This wine looks to be between $11 and $15, and my neighbor took the time to wrap it and put a note in there. So my lady and I are trying to figure out what the proper protocol is to say thank you. Do we also get a bottle of wine? Do I just get a thank you card and leave it? Do we go over there, knock on the door, and then deliver a heartfelt thank you and nothing else? I need help here, because as it stands right now, we are getting a card, knocking on the door, and then saying thank you. That's Allstate's stand.

Friday, March 07, 2008

There are two IKEA large wardrobes that have been sitting in the middle of what will eventually be my living room, since Saturday night. The wardrobes were purchased to house the million articles of clothing my lady seems to have acquired during her adult life, and up until last night, those un-assembled wardrobes were surrounded by other packed boxes full of stuff. Last night, we finally made some progress in unpacking these boxes, so the fact that I have not put together these wardrobes, is starting to become the elephant(s) in the room. Its not that I can't put together these items, because I have constructed many pieces of furniture before, its just that I am too lazy to do it..or at least I had been. There are always confusing directions, there will be like 56 unused pieces once I put it together the way I see fit, and since I am clumsy, I undoubtedly will drop at least 4 shelves on my already horrendous feet. My ego won't let me hire someone to put it together, although it has crossed my(and my lady's) mind more than once. The funny part is, it appears as if we don't need both of these wardrobes, and we may end up taking one of them back. But if not, I will tackle this beast tonight...after happy hour of course.

By the way, about a week from now, I will be inviting all of you wonderful people who read my blog, to participate in an NCAA pool probably on yahoo. I did this last year, but the participation was paltry, and so I would like a better turnout. I may even set up a paypal account for those individuals(like me), who don't feel content with a victory unless humiliation and a loss of money are taking place. So if you plan on participating in my pool, please watch a game or two between now and next Sunday when the brackets come out. And if you can't stand to watch a game, then just watch ESPN every night at 11 or between 6 and 10 in the morning, to see who won and by how much. Or you can watch NO basketball, and attempt to luck up and win the pool. If that happens, I will hunt you down, and rob you of the money you will have won fair and square.

75 Bars - The Roots
I posted the video for this song last week, and today i'm just posting the song. I played it 3 times in a row this morning on the way to work, and it is just great hip-hop. No hook, no bells and whistles, no wasted motions, just Questlove on drums and Black Thought on the mic. I challenge you to listen to this song without a scowl on your face. It kind of reminds me of this Public Enemy song from 1987.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

My father and I had yet another marathon conversation last night about a vast array of topics ranging from Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to women who went from conservative to freaky in their freshman year of college. The latter conversation segued into a discussion about kids and daughters, and I explained to my father that I am sure m'lady and I will have a child together, and I was even MORE sure that I did not want the child to be a daughter. Of course, I have to give the company line that says a healthy child is most important, and while that is true, I will still say I want a son, not a daughter. So here are the top 10 reasons I do not want a daughter:

10) The Hair factor. When I was younger I watched my uncle have to do my cousin's hair, and it was just a nightmare man. For whatever reason, the mother wasn't around some days, and before he sent her to school, he had to pull some half-ass hair concoction out of his trick bag, and it never looked good. The kid wasn't happy, my uncle was embarrassed, it was just a hot mess. With boys, you just have to guard against that beady-my-hair-hasn't-been-brushed-in-days look, and that's easier to remedy.

9) The Mean factor. My lady, my mother, and some female friends have told me that around 12 or 13, young girls(do get weary) just up and become mean to everyone, but especially to men and boys. They haven't exactly told me what the rhyme or reason is, but I know its real, because I can remember being on the receiving end of some pretty mean stuff back in junior high and high school. As a father, I don't how I would deal with my daughter basically tuning me out and treating me like dirt, just because of some hormonal snafu. Sons just get to a point where they think they can kick your ass, and a hard fist to the chest kills all that, which brings me to my next point...

8)Spankings. If my son acts up or gets out of line, I would be totally within my right to break his ass down and hit him. The conversion chart goes like this:
0-5 year old - A firm hand to the ass Ithat just sounds ghey)
5-10 year old - a belt to the ass
10 years and older - a fist to the chest..maybe a backhand to the face

I can do these things to a boy, because they were done to me and I turned out normal. Something in me would not allow me to use that conversion chart when it came to disciplining my daughter. I know women who were excessively hit by their fathers at young ages, and they have serious regret and resentment.

7) The Sex talk. I am squeamish about having to tell my son about the joys and dangers of sex, just because I don't want the boy to get hurt and I don't want him to get too caught up in it too early. But its easier to do with a boy...why you might ask? Simple anatomy. My son(god willing) will be doing the inserting, not getting inserted into. My daughter (assuming no props are involved..again, god willing) will be getting inserted into, and there is nothing I can say, do, or think of, that will prepare her for that. I can attempt to warn her about guys, and their evil ways, but who knows if that will work. Plus the visual of a guy on my daughter is enough to make me crazy and belligerent, which leads me tooo...

6) Dating (aka the Cosby factor): The first time my daughter says she has a date with a guy, and this guy comes to my house, I will be insane. Bill Cosby(aka Cliff Huxtable) was always able to intimidate the guys who came over and attempted to date his daughters, but he did it with class. Plus it doesn't hurt that Bill Cosby is like 6'2 or 6'3, which means he was taller than most teenage guys. I'm coming in at a strong 5'9, which means my intimidation tactics have to be guerrilla like and extreme at best. I have a temper, and I wouldn't want to alienate my daughter by scaring away a dude she is really feeling. But I'll be god damned if I have to see dude after dude with lust and sex in their eyes. I can't take it man

5) The period factor. The day my daughter comes to me and says her first period is here, I will hold up a detour sign that keeps her from me, and will direct her to her mother. I want no parts of that as a 33 year old man, so why would I want to discuss this with my 11, 12, 13 year old daughter..i'm simply not equipped to have that type of speech you know? I mean sure I can do all types of research and attempt to be an expert in that field, but ultimately, a woman could comfort her much more than a father.

4) The breast factor. This is just awkward all around. No father wants her daughter running to him talking about, "Daddy what are these?". The detour sign would come back out with a quickness. Now if my son comes to me with his pants down and says, "Daddy, what is this?", I'm still a little freaked out, but at least I can quickly address that, and send him on his way.

3) The college factor. I could survive the pre-teen and teenage years with my daughter, and I can send her away to school, equipped with all the skills necessary for her to continue to be a great, young, virginal woman. And then she could get to college, and all of a sudden turn into Anna Nicole Smith, giving her goodies away like fliers. And the sad part about that is, I would have no way of knowing until I overheard her talking to her mother about something unsavory and hurtful. Then I'd be furious, yet helpless. I think this is one of those things that would hurt with my son too.

2) The switch. This will occur when my daughter is older and gets married. I know from my relationship with my dad, that as I get older, we get closer and even when I get married, that will remain the same, and I expect the same to hold true for my son. But I fear that when my daughter gets married, and maybe even before then, my daughter will look at her husband as THE man in her life(as well she should), and then my role will be lessened and diminished. I know its inevitable, but it has to be a blow to the ego on some level.

1) Four words, "Daddy I am pregnant".

Femininity - Eric Benet

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

When you wake up in the morning, watch the forecast, and see that it is currently 55 degrees outside, you instantly have a code red type of situation on your hands. When the temps are at 55 degrees, you have many options: You can wear a sports coat over your outfit, and hope that it keeps you warm if it gets a bit blustery; You can wear thin layers of clothing, and then wear a jacket over it, so that even if the wind does NOT blow, you won't be too hot; or you can do what I did this morning, and that is to look out of the window to see what the neighborhood folks are rocking to work. So when I looked out I saw people jogging in t-shirts and shorts, I saw people bundled up like they were getting ready to run the Iditarod, and I saw a few men walking around in just their suits. When I saw the suited men, I decided that would be my costume of choice for this fine Wednesday. Since I still walk to work, I figured I would keep me warm, if the breeze got out of hand. Well the breeze got way out of hand, the suit didn't keep me warm, and now I'm shivering and shaking at my desk like a woman who just used all her "toys" in one sitting. What's the lesson here? I don't know.

I can sum up yesterday's Democratic nomination action, by using my beloved Star Wars movies as a point of reference. Prior to yesterday, Obama was like the Rebel forces at the end of Star Wars IV. They had just won something big, and there were all types of celebrations for them as a result; however, just as the rebel forces started to relax, the evil Empire (which in this case will be played by Hilary Clinton) carefully and methodically struck back. They didn't strike back enough to break the spirit of the Rebel forces, but they struck back hard enough to let those same Rebel forces know, "Hey, we are still here, we are still a threat, and we will still beat that ass until you make us go away." I hope I didn't lose anyone with all that. The point is, Obama shouldn't panic at all, but I know somewhere, he and his people are having a regroup meeting. And in Hilary's case, she needs to avoid celebrations and stay on her grind...whatever that means.

De La Soul - Potholes In My Lawn

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Each and every office has that one person who is full of energy on a daily basis. Whether it is Monday or Friday, this person seems to pull from energy from a source not accessible to the common man or woman. This person says good morning to everyone, they ask folks to lunch and keep you out for 2-3 hours, they bake cookies at the drop of a hat, and they may not always be the best at their job, but their enthusiasm alone makes them the most likeable. I went to college with a woman like this, and I used to wonder if why she was so damn energetic all the time, but I never got answer. Well in the NFL(you knew this was going to segue into sports somehow), that person was Brett Favre, and today he officially retired. Bret.

Brett wasn't always the best quarterback; he was rarely the most accurate; and at times, especially during his painkiller/alcohol addiction phase, he wasn't even the best person. But there was something about Brett's enthusiasm that made it hard for me to turn away whenever the Green Bay Packers played. I am not on his nuts the way some broadcasters and journalists were (mainly Peter King and John Madden, but I certainly appreciate his greatness and he will be missed.

I think employers around the country should devise something called "moving leave". Maternity leave allows mothers(and maybe some ghey and straight fathers, I don't know) to have time off so that their beloved child can feel safe and warm with at least one parent around(only to have that comfort violently taken away once kindergarten starts). Well I need the moving leave bill to be signed, so I can take 5 working days off to get my house in order. 1)I'm tired of living out of boxes 2)I really don't want to have my weekend monopolized by this kind of nonsense. Not to mention, folks really don't move that often, so its not like you could abuse this rule more than once a year. I need to devise a petition..who's comin' with me?.....

Undun - Kurt Elling

Monday, March 03, 2008

Last week I mentioned that I was moving, and I made an unofficial plea for some gifts, by asking people to mail me giftcards or whatever they saw fit for me to have. It was definitely said with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek, although I certainly would not have minded if something magically found its way to my mailbox. A co-worker of mine saw what I wrote, and she said that it was tacky to ask for stuff that way, and that the correct thing to do would be to have a housewarming party. Now, I am a man, and I can easily admit that I have NEVER in my life had such an event at any of my residences. If I needed things for my apartment, I either got them myself, my mother would bring by some things, or the women I was involved with at the time would attempt to help me, but I'd end up pretty much rejection her suggestions. Since I live with my lady, I suppose I have to allow this housewarming business to go down, although I suspect she may not be down for this either.

The whole concept of housewarming bothers me just a bit, because I think its less about the owners of the house, and more about the visitors being nosy. I have avoided many a housewarming in my day, in favor of sending a gift, because my logic is that my gift is way more important than my presence. And even when food is served at these things, after about 20 minutes, I am ready to go anyway, so why not just send a gift, a card, and let that be it. So using that same thought process, why would I want folks in my house all like that? When I have a fight or a Super Bowl part, THEN, folks can see the house and all the accoutrements. Until then, what's wrong with just receiving a gift via mail or paypal? I probably have basically ruined any chance of receiving any kinds of gifts at this point..

Here's an excerpt from a Bill Clinton speech in 2004. Its unofficially entitled irony:

Sunday, March 02, 2008

It is 9:45, and I am finally finished with this two day moving extravaganza. My back is sore, my abs hurt, my hands feel like I have been doing pull ups all day long, but I am officially in my apartment with my lady, and it feels good. I hope to not move for another two years, and when that happens I will be moving into an house, and I will sho nuff be paying people to do that move. My lady, her sister, and her boyfriend knocked this move out in about 3 hours, so I really should not complain. Next up? Unpacking, trips to Bed Bath and Beyond, Ikea, and other stores that are made for women to shop in(yeah that's sexist, but come on, can you really see me in there for extended periods of time?).

I've run into 3 or 4 people who also occupy by building, and they all seem to be pretty friendly, with the exception of one couple who looked at my lady and I like we are terrorists. Perhaps we'll make them a carrot cake or something to soften them up a bit.

I am tired, I haven't showered, and I have some red wine to sip on before bedtime. I just wanted to blog this minor miracle for my own records.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Some Saturday observations:

I wish I could find some individuals to come to my house, pack and wrap all of my belongings, load them in the truck, take them to my new place, unpack, and then be on their on merry way. That would allow to me to significantly less work, and basically turn into the Quincy Jones of the move. I could just tell people where to go, and where to put things. All this moving business is wearing me the hell out.

I just got back from the grocery store, and when I was doing my transaction, I noticed the brother behind the corner had incredibly ashy hands. He already caught my attention because he favored David Ruffin, but then I looked down at his hands, and I was amazed. This wasn't the I-just-got-out-of-the-shower-and-I-forgot-to-put-on-lotion type of ash that plagues so many of us during the cold winter months. This was the I-have-had-casts-on-both-my-hands-and-they-haven't-seen-light-or-air-for-5-months type of ash that you never get used to seeing. It was quite traumatic, and I really didn't want him handling my money.

And now I present the new song from the legendary Roots crew, 75 Bars: