Thursday, January 31, 2008

As I have mentioned many times before, I now walk a mile and a half to work everyday. I would much prefer to run, or to lift weights, or to even skip rope, but my mysterious back ailment prevents me from doing that, and I've yet to be medically cleared. So even on a brisk winter 20 degree morning, I still venture out into the cold to do my morning walks. I generally walk the same path, and this path takes me past numerous gated embassies, churches and important buildings. One of the gated embassies I walk past, is the Australian embassy. I usually briefly glance at the building and then I continue walking, while listening to some groovy tunes with the volume moderately high on my IPOD. As I stepped by, I noticed something scurrying behind the gates, but I made nothing of it because after all, it was early in the morning and clearly I don't have all my faculties(or my students). But then out of nowhere, a squirrel comes bursting from behind the gate, and blocks my path.

Now, I consider myself a man's man, and had that been a rat, bird, cat, or even a dog, I would like my odds in a fight. I could step on rat, punch a bird, kick a cat, and gouge a dog's eyes out, and keep stepping to work like nothing happened. But squirrels my friends, are a different breed. What's the scouting report on squirrels? They can jump, they change direction in an unpredictable fashion, they have decent foot speed, and they can harvest their nuts.. What's the scouting report on me at 7 in the morning? I'm cranky, i'm cold, my back is bad, and the volume on my ipod is so loud, that I am extremely vulnerable to squirrel attacks. So I stared my furry friend in the eye, to see whether he would move, or make me to do the honors. I started to go left, and the squirrel did the same, and then we both stopped. I was slightly scared at this point, because in mind I thought that it would be just my luck, if I got the one squirrel that decided they wanted to challenge and take down a human. So I went left again, and this time the squirrel went right, and we both quickly stepped past one another. But after about 10 steps or so I turned around, I noticed the squirrel did the same, although my furry friend was one its hind legs giving me the side eye. I wanted to say, "You got the juice now squirrel"..but people were walking toward us, and then people would think this was Dr. Dolittle situation.

By the way that whole confrontation happened in less than 15 seconds.

One on One - Hall and Oates

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Michael Wilbon has the kind of job that most sports fanatics would love to have. He writes a column for the Washington Post, which just so happens to be one of the most prestigious newspapers in the country. He covers the NBA for both ABC and ESPN. He gets to do a television show with his best friend, and at least two or three times a week you can hear him make an appearance on sports talk radio. He basically is considered to be at the top of his game, and I definitely look up to him. I actually had an opportunity to meet him back in 2000 at a Black History Month Symposium at the Smithsonian, and he talked to me and gave me excellent advice. I say all this because Mr. Wilbon suffered a mild heart attack on Monday. He is recovering in an Arizona hospital, and he's scheduled to go home today. I don't know if he reads my blog, but I DO know I have sent it to him on more than one occasion. So Mr. Wilbon, whether you are reading this or not, I hope you get well soon.

About 3 weeks ago or so, Rudy Giuliani gathered all the members of his campaign together and said something like this:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I think we should take a Florida vacation. Bring your family, friends, etc, and lets go to Florida and get tanned, meet some people, and maybe we'll do a little campaigning, but let's not sweat it too much. It doesn't look like I have a shot at winning this or any other primary, but we can certainly look like we are efforting. If it works, we have momentum for the next primary. If it doesn't, then goddammit we will have had a 3 week Florida vacation, and we'll endorse the winner of this primary. Now let's get out there and win...kind of".

So yesterday when I noticed that he not only lost the Florida primary to McCain, but then he allegedly backed him shortly after his loss, I was not at all surprised. Giuliani's window of opportunity started on 9/11/01 and closed around 2005 when people became increasingly disgruntled about the war. He should have caught the country while they were stil gruntled.

Thank God I Found You (remix) - Mariah Carey

This song contains what I like to call a headphone moment. A headphone moment usually occurs with a song you've always liked, but it isn't until you are listening with headphones that you truly hear a part of the song that blows you away. My headphone moment for this song starts at the 3:50 moment when Mariah goes back and forth between singing lead and background vocals, but she does so in a much deeper voice than usual. Women who SING in husky tones are very sexy to me. A woman with a husky voice in a non-singing setting is just downright disgusting.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Top 10 Reasons I Did Not Watch Last Night's State of the Union Address

10) Due to my strict doctor's orders earlier in the day, I was unable to play the drinking games I usually play when I watch Bush speak. They are: 1)Take a shot every time the audience applauds 2)Take a shot each time Bush pauses waiting for an applause and 3)take a shot each time Hillary and Obama are shown. I would have been good and drunk in 7 minutes flat.

9)A good portion of the speech was already on the internets well before Bush took the stage. If you give me the answers to the test beforehand, chances are I will cheat like nobodies business.

8)The best part of any State of the Union address is not the actual speech, but its the rebuttal/response, which in this case came from Democratic Kansas Governor, Kathleen Sebelius. That is when you get to hear just how full of shit the president's speech is..

7) I was in the middle of loading my IPOD, and I looked up and it was 9:15..much too late to be catching the speech

6) Watching a President in his final year(or a lame duck president as I heard many politicians say) give a State of the Union address is akin to a child staying out late even though they have already broken curfew. You've already gotten in trouble, so why not get your money's worth and stay out all damn night. In Bush's case, he's already made some egregious errors, so why not say any damn thing. A year from now, he won't care anyway.

5)I know this stimulus package is supposed to help both the economy and the American public, but I cannot help but to get aroused every time I hear the phrase uttered. So you have a man named Bush talking about a stimulus package, and I am supposed to take that seriously with my girlfriend within arm's reach? COME ON!

4)I knew that every known camera in that room would be focused on the Obama/Kennedy/Clinton love triangle, and sure when I woke up this morning, I saw this photo, and I know countless blogs and media outlets are analyzing this. I gotta tell you I like the idea of my presidential candidate having bad sportsmanship. If a presidential rival were in my presence, not only would I snub him/her, I would go out of my way to shake every one's hand around him/her.

3) The Tennessee/Duke game was way more entertaining. Go Candace Parker.

2) I am burned out on politics right now, so there's no way I could have appreciated last night's speech. I need to save my energy for Super Tuesday next week.

1) I was in the midst of beating my girlfriend in Scrabble for the 4 consecutive time in a row concurrently.

My Peoples - Raheem Devaughn

Monday, January 28, 2008

There is a Seinfeld episode, where George and Jerry sit across from one another and ask where their lives are going. They examine their childish behavior and one point they say to one another, "Look at us, we're not men", and they proceed to come up with a list of things they can do to improve their overall quality of life. It is done in a humorous way, but anyone watching could glean something serious from it. I had something similar happen to me today, but in a very different way and on a very different subject.

Amid all these back and nerve issues that I am having, my regular doctor told me this morning that I basically need to change the way I eat, lose about 20-25lbs(I haven't weighed 175lbs since 1996), and eat better or I will be at risk of having a heart attack in my mid 40s. Now my mouth completely dropped as he was talking, but I was listening intently. He basically said that the bad habits I had in my 20s, now have consequences, but I am young enough to turn everything around, but too old to continue them. My cholesterol and blood pressure were a bit too high for his taste, and he is giving me 3 months to turn it around by myself, or he may put me on medication. This didn't scare me at all, it just made me angry. It takes very little effort to eat right and workout regularly, but I allowed lots of factors to distract me. Even now, I cannot workout with the vigor I want to, because my back has yet to be diagnosed, but there are still things that I can do in the meantime. So, just like I was on my soapbox when my apartment burned down and I didn't have renter's insurance, I shall be on my soapbox about this shit too. On Soapbox: So kids, eat right, exercise, and go to your doctor and let him or her analyze your blood..especially if you're in your 30s. And for those of you who are doing it already, go inspire someone who isn't. Off Soapbox

Gettin Grown - Cee Lo

Saturday, January 26, 2008

I have 3 things to discuss while I sip my fine white wine.

1)Whether you are a golf fan or not, it behooves you to watch Tiger play as much as you can. Now I know I have a man crush on him, so my I'm slightly biased, but still I speak the truth. When I was young, my father used to speak about Wilt Chamberlain and Muhammad Ali, and how lucky he was to have witnessed such greatness. Well i have been lucky enough to see both Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods play in my 33 years of life on this earth, and as a sports fanatic I can't ask for much more. I bring this up because Tiger is dominating yet another tournament as I type. You know I have suggested many things to my 4 blog readers, but I wonder how many of you actually take my suggestion.

2) I happened to flip channels, and see that Barack Obama won the South Carolina by a surprisingly large margin. I must admit when I saw the bickering going on in the debates, and the feverish pace Bill Clinton was campaigning for his Hillary, I just knew Barack was going to lose by a slim margin. But clearly i'm no James Carville when it comes to making political predictions. I hope Obama celebrates tonight, and then immediately comes up with a strategy to win Super Tuesday, because if he gets spanked on THAT day, this victory will be for naught.

3) This snow-less winter we are having is some bullshit. The snows we've had this week last for one day, and then the next day its like 50 degrees, and all evidence of snow has disappeared. I have lived in Cleveland, Connecticut, Detroit, etc, and I am used to bonafide snowstorms of like 10-15 inches. Even here in DC, we have had significant snowstorms in the past, but not this year, and I am not a happy camper. Do you know how good of a feeling it is to wake early for work one morning, and to see nothing but snow? And do you know how much better that feeling is when you see your local news report that your job is closed? That's a feeling I haven't had in a couple of years, and I want it goddammit.

Put It In Your Mouth - Akinyele
My girlfriend suggested I put this song on my blog today. God bless her.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Jeans and tennis shoes. These are two parts of my wardrobe that I purchase the least. I never wear tennis shoes to work, so its hard for me to justify a purchase of something, that I would only wear two days out of the week if that. I have two pairs of tennis shoes that I bought last summer, and they will hold me down until next summer and maybe beyond. I have 3 pairs of jeans that I wash and alternate, and you would never know it the way I sport them(I should win an ESPY). I know plenty of dudes who have 10-20 pairs of jeans and the same amount of tennis shoes, and god bless them. I would much rather focus on work clothes, since I wear them the most. And I am quite sure I could give equal time to both, but that simply takes too much effort. So why do I mention this?

My girl bought me these fresh and fancy jeans for my birthday, and today is the first day that I am wearing them. Jeans, much like underwear and dress shoes, take a little while to break in, so I figured I would get right on that today. When I initially put them on, they felt a bit snug, so I made the executive decision not to wear a belt. While I was walking through the apartment, they still felt snug, so my decision to go sans belt seemed like a wise one. I walked out of the apartment, and towards the subway, and my pants still felt golden. But when I left the subway and started walking towards my job, I had a little sag action going on, and I kept having to pull up my pants. So now I look like a full-fledged 21 year old(aka my intern), and I am not a happy camper. You may say, Rashad, why don't you just go buy another belt. And then I would tell you that I forgot to add something else to my two item no purchase list I mentioned above.

I Put A Spell On You - Screaming Jay Hawkins

Thursday, January 24, 2008

So all day yesterday, I was a bit nervous about my MRI appointment. It wasn't only the fact that this was my brain they were looking at, but having an MRI involves being still in a tight space for a long time. I did a little research, and I spoke to people who had been through this before, but it really did little to calm my nerves. So as I walked into George Washington University Hospital, I was extremely nervous.

As soon as I got to the desk, they explained to me that they were ready for me, and I was whisked to the back. Once I was in the back, they gave me a gown and some booties for my feet, and they asked me to change. It was at this point, when I became paranoid about the possibility of my arms and legs being painfully ashy. I moisturize my situation each and every morning, but often times, when put up against sub freezing temperatures, this lotion simply cannot last. So I fearlessly changed into the gown, but I refused to take my underwear off. One never knows how nervousness is going to affect one's genitals, so I thought it was best I kept those on. The nurse agreed. Next step? The MRI itself.

Now I voiced my feelings of nervousness to this nurse and she basically said, "Just man up and lay down", so I did just that. She gave me earplugs to mask the loud sounds of the MRI machine, she squeezed my head into this contraption, and then moved something over my head. She then asked me to be very still and slid me back into this large machine. I couldn't see much ,and the position I was asked to hold still in was very uncomfortable. Before they slid me in(sounds dirty) I asked them how long I wouldd be in this machine and they said about 30 minutes. Luckily for me, I had thought of about 10 songs I'd hum/rap while inside, so I was fully prepared for whatever they threw at me..or so I thought.

What I was NOT prepared for was the feeling of extreme claustrophobia. I couldn't move any of body parts, and it was driving me crazy man. I also felt like a man buried alive in his casket(way too dramatic, but true). So it was at this point, when I started humming the "Lion Sleeps Tonight" song from the Lion King. Well I guess I got so into the song, that I unknowingly started singing, and that's when I heard the voice of one of the MRI technicians. He said to me, "Mr. Mobley we love your rendition of the Lion Sleeps Tonight, but unfortunately you're moving your head, and its messing up the MRI". I could hear them laughing at me, but to me it was no laughing matter..that song was my blanket and I was Linus.

Before they slid me in this machine, they gave me this ball to squeeze in case of an emergency, and for 24 of the 30 minute procedure I stayed away from the ball. But then my left hand started going numb(which is why an MRI was necessary in the first place) and involuntarily squeezed the ball, and the technician quickly came over the loudspeaker and asked me what the problem was..I said man my hand is numb, and I was just trying to un-numb it. He basically said, just keep your fidgety ass still for another 5 minutes and I did, then we were done and I made it through..but unfortunately for me, I have two more MRIs that need to be done on my back...

When I went back to the locker room to change, there were two old black men in there preparing for MRIs as well. I came in and exchanged pleasantries with them and then they happened to notice by booties(socks..I have to clarify), and they asked where I got them, and I told them the nurse. In unison, they said, man she didn't give me any booties. Then they asked me if I could go get them some. I checked the front of my hospital gown to make sure it didn't say "hospital staff", and then I agreed to go steal them some booties. So here my ashy ass was running around the damn hallways trying to smuggle some socks in the dressing room for my elders. But I did it, and they were thankful in fact, that one of the dudes thought it necessary to share with me that he forgot to wear underwear. Now even though I have been in that same position, I only mentioned it in my blog, not to another man. Needless to say, I quickly put on my clothes, and I hightailed it out of there...whatever that means

Smoking Gun - Robert Cray

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I wonder if there is racism among squirrels. I saw two squirrels presumably trying to harvest their nuts, on this cold winter morning. One squirrel was sporting the grey fur, and the other was sporting a much darker shade of fur, and here they were scurrying all over the grass looking for God knows what. I don't see the darker shade of squirrels too often, so I stopped dead in my tracks, and watched them interact for about 5 minutes, and yes I realize how crazy that sounds considering this is a work morning. At one point, each squirrel stood up on their hind legs and looked at me, and they went on about their business. This entire paragraph feels a bit off, but I do wonder if I had followed them throughout the course of the day, would I notice anything unusual. That would actually be an interesting experiment to conduct and then write about; however, that is also a sign of a person who has way too much time on their hands.

Up until very recently, when someone would ask me to pray for them, I didn't think too much of it. Sometimes I would do it, and other times I would tell myself, I'm not overly religious so what good would my prayers do. But recently, because of my health scares, and other things going around me, I take that very seriously, and as I am typing this I realize how selfish that sounds but its true. Yesterday, a friend of mine mentioned to me that her mother was going into surgery, and I told her not to forget to pray, and I said one for her, her mother, and the surgeons. My rationale? I may not be the most religious brother in the world, but I do consider myself to be humble, and I do realize that a greater power is guiding and directing things in a Quincy Jones like fashion. So what harm will it do to give a little thanks or ask for a little extra assistance?

This makes me sad.

Never Too Much - Luther Vandross

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

There was a Democratic debate last night in South Carolina, but instead of watching that, I preferred to switch back and forth between Serena losing at the Australian Open and the Miami Heat losing for the 14th time in a row. Luckily for me though, I woke at 4:22am, and that same debate re-aired, so I took the time to watch, and I must say I am sick of watching these debates. Hilary and Obama continually talked over one another, while John Edwards may as well have been the damn moderator. I was sitting there thinking, I am supposed to pick a president out of THIS bunch? And then I started asking myself if I was naive by thinking a candidate could run for president without criticizing the other presidential hopefuls. Why can't someone make their case by boosting THEIR record, and then maybe throwing in a little Bush hate? That's fairly simple, and it would make the debates a bit more tolerable. As I told my girl last night, if the election were held today, I would be hard pressed to justify my vote for anyone. But its only January, so perhaps something else will be revealed unto me soon.

I have yet to mention my picks for this year's Super Bowl, and frankly that's because its two weeks away. The NFL continues to have this ridiculous notion, that it is ok to hype the Super Bowl up for two weeks. That allows the media and the players to basically have a love fest in the media, and its just nauseating. So one day next week, I will make my pick, and I suggest you listen to me, because last year, I was RIGHT on the money with my pick So if you plan on gambling or anything(not that I condone that activity) then you listen to me.

Also, if you have time during your busy schedule, listen to this man's radio show. I've been listening to him on the radio for years, and its a great show. He mixes in sports, pop culture, politics, etc.

Feel No Pain - Sade

Monday, January 21, 2008

Every year I struggle with the proper way to celebrate Martin Luther King Day. I'm 33 now, which means I have seen all his speeches from I Have A Dream, to the I've Been to Mountain top, to the speech where he said forget about marches, lets get money. I have been to roundtables about his past, present and future legacy, and I have also heard people say that this shouldn't even be a holiday. Yet with all that swirling around in my mind, I still struggle with the best method to "celebrate" this holiday, and then an incident that happened on Saturday crossed my mind.

I was talking to my son's mother, and she didn't even realize that Monday was a holiday, let alone Dr. King day. When I told her what holiday it was she still didn't believe me, which I thought was just odd. But today it occured to me that if she didn't know the holiday, there is a good chance my son is not getting educated on Dr. King either. I'm sure his school is doing something to honor him(although he lives in Virginia, so its not a given) but I think it would be worth it for him to hear from his Daddy about why Dr. King has a holiday, and what his legacy is.

Besides, I'm still recovering from my birthday yesterday, and I don't feel like going ANYWHERE.

Undeniably - Terence Trent D'Arby

Sunday, January 20, 2008

It is 3:13am, and I am most definitely tispy, but I wanted to wish myself a happy 33rd birthday. 32 was kind of an up and down year for me, but I must say things are going well so far in year 33. So, happy bday to me man. And yes this is rather Roy Jones of me to be praising myself, but cut me some slack man.

Life's A Bitch - Nas featuring AZ
I have played this song on all of birthdays since I turned 20. I play it not to be negative, but because the first lines of Nas' verse are so appropriate. For those of you who have NOT heard the song, Nas' verse starts at the 1:25 mark.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Man I am old. While I was watching my son and his team get crushed (20-6) by a better team today, I just kept remembering my feelings when I was in his position. I remember being a 10 year old playing basketball, and wanting occasional eye contact with my father, and whenever I looked up, he was right there quietly encouraging me via eye contact and hand gestures. Today while Carlton was playing, he'd look up at me, and I did the EXACT same thing. Other parents were VERY vocal to the point that they were talking over the coach, and I always appreciated that my father was never one of those parents..and apparently neither am I. Honestly speaking, my son isn't really that good of a player. He plays basketball like a football player, which doesn't really bother me, because he is a DAMN good football player. But watching him, and remembering my father watching me is one of those weird moments of symmetry. The other weird thing? Hearing coaches, kids and other parents call my son's name. I know that seems odd, but there was a time, when only his mother and I would call his name, and he was too young to even know what it meant. Now he has people calling his name, hoping he'll come through for him. I guess this is what folks mean when they say parenting is rewarding.

I was so into the game, that I didn't really take that many pictures, but I suppose I'll be back down there for next week's game to do just that. I didn't cry when I left him this time, I just smiled and hugged him tight, and then my son said he would call me on my birthday tomorrow. Good times all around.

Open Your Eyes - Eric Roberson

So today, I take I will be taking that 3 hour trip down to Hampton to see my son play in his second basketball game, and I am VERY excited. I can remember seeing my younger brother play back in the day, and I remember how nervous I was back then. I wanted my brother to score all the points, and I wanted him to look good while doing it. Now that this is my son, I am going to be even more nervous, but it should be fun. I am going to defintely take pictures of this wonderful event.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Here's my latest entry in the I-couldn't-make-it-up-even-if-I-tried department. My birthday isn't until Sunday, but since I won't see my intern on that day, he decided to get me a gift early. The gift? A can of Nestea, brisk iced tea from the vending machine. When I came back in the office, it was on my desk, and he said happy birthday man with a proud look on his face.

I wanted to write about this Tiger Woods/Kelly Tilghman incident when I first heard about it last week, but my feelings were extremely mixed. At first, it didn't bother me, because I felt since Tiger is friends with this woman, and he has forgiven her, then its not really a big deal that she mentioned lynching and Tiger in the same sentence. In my mind, here was a woman on the Golf channel(and men don't respect female golfers/commentators any way) who made a comment to a group of people who probably didn't even realize how inappropriate it was. But then when Tiger's response came via a publicist, I was a little annoyed that he didn't say anything himself. I wasn't expecting him to call a grandiose press conference, but it would have been nice if he said something to this effect, "What Kelly said was dumb, lynching is no laughing matter even it was intended to be a joke. Kelly is my friend, and I forgive her, but I wish these jokes about lynching and nooses would end." If Tiger had come out and said that, I'd be fine with the situation right now. But then I thought to myself, that kind of behavior is not in Tiger Woods. Tiger is focused on golf and his family, and that's it. Its not a flaw, and its not wrong, but it is just how it is. If his father were still alive, he would tell Tiger not to worry about it, and then HE would speak on it himself.

But then a week after the incident initially happened, Golfweek magazine decides to address the issue, by putting a noose on the cover.. I understand that magazines aren't selling as well these days, and by putting this on the cover, they automatically will remedy that problem. But I can think of about 5 or 6 different covers that would have been just as effective, especially since any magazine with Tiger Woods on the cover, will definitely sell. And since this story clearly is not going away, I think Tiger should address this..if for no other reason, then to shut Al Sharpton the hell up.

Bring the Noise - Public Enemy

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Nothing of note to post this afternoon. The doctor shocked the hell out of my nerves, and now I feel all jumpy. The results come in 2 to 3 days, so again the waiting game is here. I'll tell you what though..since Dec 1, I have spent nearly $200 in co-pay, and I am STILL not complaining. Can you imagine how high these bills would be without it? I would be on the corner selling my body(or at least one part of it) for money.

On a totally unrelated note, I found an article yesterday that I am going to share with the blogging public. Tony Kornheiser, of ESPN and Washington Post fame, used to only write for the Post. He wrote in the sports section two or three times a week, and then he would write in the Style section on Sundays. This article that I am about to post, ran in the Style section, and it was written shortly after his father died. Now my father is still very much alive, and I am not posting this to be morbid. I just think its a solid article, that always motivates me to call my parents.

Fire in the Sky by Tony Kornheiser
Later on this morning I will be going to the neurologist to undergo the first of what will be several rounds of tests. The first test I am supposed to have is nerve conduction velocity test designed to test how long it takes a stimulus to instruct my muscles to move. The second test is an electromyogram, designed to examine my muscles. A thin needle is placed into my muscle, and I am then asked to do a series of tests. Its hard for me to be nervous about any of this, because I am not quite sure what to expect. But what I DO know, is that in preparation for this test, I was asked NOT to put on any lotion or oil on my body. Currently, it is 31 degrees, blustery, with a chance of snow and rain, which means I will be traipsing around the city looking like Ashy Larry I will make it a point to bring lotion with me, so that as SOON as this procedure is over, I can again function like a normal, well-oiled human being. I wonder is chap stick is permitted.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have more to write later.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I know I sound like a cranky old man, but it truly annoys me that when I sit down to type this blog, my intern sticks his fist in my face, waiting for me to join my fist with his, in an effort to say good morning. I mean who shakes some one's hand each and every day when you work in the same office. That's just not necessary, and it throws me off. He does the same thing when he leaves. I'd settle for a "good morning" when he arrives, and an "alright man" when he departs. I think he leaves today, I'll just make sure my hands are full, and give him a head nod.

The grocery store trip was painless and a bit fun. The store was clean, the aisles were well spaced, the employees were friendly(except for the one checkout clerk who felt it was more important to text and talk on the phone, than it was to ring people up). My girl did an excellent job of keeping me focused and on task, and I only ended up knocking two items off the shelf and on to the floor: A bag of pita bread and a loaf of rye bread. No one was around when I knocked them down, and each time I would look back and feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment. If I could write poetry, I would write a short one about the feelings I felt from the time those items left my hand, to the time the items innocently fell to the ground.

As I was getting on the train yesterday, I walked past this homeless man who seemed to be talking to me, but I couldn't tell because I had on headphones. I removed them and I asked him was he talking to me, and he said he was, and I asked him what he said. He said to me, "You dropped something youngblood", and I immediately whipped my head around to see what I dropped. When I didn't see anything, I asked him what I had dropped, and he pointed to his cup of dollar bills and change, and he said, "Some money right here". Now I don't know if that translates to a humorous moment in the blog, but at that moment I fell out laughing, as did the people around me. You gotta admire a homeless man, in 30 degree weather(with a jacket I might add, which means he's MILES ahead of my intern), who can maintain a sense of humor. Sadly I didn't have any money on me, so his joke was in vain. I thought of going to ATM to get out money, but then I'd have to buy something to break the $20, and there's nothing funny about all that work. But I shall hunt him down today, and give him some change.

Now, I'm not posting this video because I have a man crush on Michael Jackson (except for the hideous haircut), and I am certainly not posting this because I enjoy seeing him parade around with no shirt on with Lisa Marie Presley. I'm not even posting this sappy song because I enjoy it. The only reason I am putting this video on my blog, is to share with the world, what has been a source of great joy and humor for me. At the 2:56 mark of the video, Michael Jackson unleashed a karate chop with so much ferocity and determination, that it warranted me writing this long ass paragraph. The combination of his facial expression and his hand movements make this video worth watching..Actually don't watch the video, just fast forward to the 2:56 point.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

For nearly 4 years I have had my groceries delivered via a service called Peapod. It is a wonderful service for lazy people like myself, because it allows me to sit on my ass, and use the mouse to get the wonderful groceries I love, and then the next day they are delivered to my door. The only headache is putting the groceries away, and figuring out to do with the bags, and quite frankly I do that with great aplomb. For years I have been told by people that Peapod is expensive, and I would find much better savings in the real grocery store, and I would quietly tell people that it was worth paying more money to avoid the madness of that evil institution called the grocery store. The other downside of Peapod is that it is difficult to gauge the size of something you are ordering. Many times I thought I was ordering a large can of Tuna, or a larger pack of chicken, and then once my items were delivered, I received a much smaller portion. So what is the point of all this?

According to my doctor, my cholesterol is a bit too high, and he would like for me to adjust my diet accordingly. I have 2 more weeks to get it down on my own, and if I cannot do that, he will put me that very same medication that I discussed a little over a week ago. I tried to explain to my doctor that I had abandoned my normal diet over the holidays, and that is why my cholesterol was sky high, but he was NOT believing me. So, as a result, I will be taking my first trip to the grocery store in 4 years, in an effort to buy the proper foods that will assist in keeping my cholesterol down to normal levels. I'm sure this is not a big deal to you, but it is quite a big step for me. I made a list in Word format, I sent it to my girl so she could review the list, I set a time for us to go to the grocery store, and frankly, I gotta tell you, I'm pretty stoked. Back when I used to go to the grocery store, I would get frustrated by the lines, and I used to go down at least one aisle, and purposely knock something off of the shelf and on to the floor. Immature? maybe. Empowering? You bet your ass. I'm restarting that tradition this evening.

As I am typing this, my intern marched into my office with NO jacket on at all, because he claims to have forgotten it, along with his money and his ID. It is 31 degrees outside. This boy needs his own reality show.

Technova (La Em Copacabana) - Towa Tei

Monday, January 14, 2008

I have admitted to crying on this blog during several occasions and I have no shame about doing so. I think it is perfectly normal for a man to cry whether its out of joy, extreme frustration, or an overwhelmingly touching moment. I also think I carry myself with enough humility(irony..kind of) that when I admit to crying, no one laughs or makes fun of me, because they know I am a God fearing young man; however, when you parade around constantly trying to get folks to look at you, and your attitude is that of a spoiled, arrogant baby at times, you really don't have room for crying, because people like me will write about you in a mean spirited fashion..which brings me to this clip of Terrell Owens.

Just to give the video a bit of context, the Dallas Cowboys had just been defeated by the New York Football Giants, and much of the focus after the game was on the behavior of quarterback Tony Romo. A week prior to the game, Mr. Romo and his insanely over hyped girlfriend, Jessica Simpson(I promise to never mention her here again)went to Mexico for a vacation. So once the Cowboys lost, the media was quick to blame Dallas' loss on Romo's behavior. While in the midst of trying to defend Romo, Terrell Owens, (looking curiously similar to our favorite, begging ass R&B singer Joe) was overcome with emotion and started crying. Ironically enough, if that had been Tony Romo crying, it wouldn't been a big deal. But this was big bad Terrell Owens crying, and people like me who can't stand him got a big kick out of seeing him lose it while wearing dark, Jackie O-like shades. Its probably a bit mean of me, but oh well. There are other bloggers on other sites who are doing way meaner things like this

Damn if I didn't go hyperlink crazy today.

Queen of Sorrow - Sade
Dedicated to TO.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

This entry is sponsored by the word narcissism and the third person.

If you have been reading Rashad's blog for the past year and a half, you know that Rashad takes his January 20th birthday extremely seriously. Rashad feelsasthough(one word) a birthday only comes around once, and its the only day of the year that one can truly be selfish and self-centered without feeling guilty. Many people try to claim both Christmas AND their birthday, but Rashad doesn't participate in such foolishness. Now, since I hold my birthday in such high regard, I expect friends, family and especially girlfriends to join me in this celebration. In years past I have been with people who basically give me what THEY want me to have, as opposed to getting me something that they think I really want and like, and believe me there is a huge difference. So what's with this paragraph? Rashad's girlfriend kicked off the week long birthday extravaganza, by taking him to last night's Celtics/Wizards basketball game This concludes the third person/narcissism portion of the entry.

If you have been following basketball(which i'm quite sure about half of you have not been) you know that the Boston Celtics have been pretty damned dominant this year winning 29 of their first 33 games. You will also know that the Washington Wizards have been toiling in mediocrity this year without their star player, Gilbert Arenas. So on paper, this game had all the makings of a one sided blowout. But ladies and gentlemen, the Wizards were inspired by my birthday, and they came to play. They played inspired defense, and they fed off the sold out crowd at the Verizon Center, and they were victorious. I told my girl right before we walked into the game, that it would be nice if we could see something historical, and in my opinion we did. If you know the history of the Wizards(i'm quite sure you don't) you know that they are notorious chokers in the big games, but not last night. I felt like a proud dad last night, and it was an excellent gift.

Other game observations:

-Women always overdress for NBA basketball games, that is nothing new. But I am noticing guys doing the same now. There's nothing wrong with looking spiffy and clean for the game, especially when a date with the club is on your menu for later. But some of these guys were stretching the limits of metrosexualness.

-If you are going to take your child to the game, you must constantly interact with them and talk. I saw this family sitting in the first row, and they had their son sitting in the row above them, and they barely talked to him. He looked to be about 9 or 10, and he just sat there looking lost and sad, except for one instance when his dad brought him a Coke. I would have interacted with him, but he was a Celtics fan which basically made him the enemy.

- I taught my girl two new basketball terms last, and I will be happy to share them with you: 1)Heat check: When a player hits two shots in a row, they will come down a third time and shoot a shot with a high degree of difficulty to see if they are going to be hot or not. 2)Wet: If someone has a wet jumper, this means they are constantly hitting nothing but net on their shots creating a splash sound. This is also a great way to start a dirty discussion at a basketball game.

By the way, I know I mention my girl a lot in my blog, and I know it can be tad annoying, but fuck you I'm in love. how's that for being tactful?

Taking Chances - Celine Dion
Now, before you scoff at my choice of song today, please hear me out. This is one of those songs my girlfriend would play over and over, and I did my best not to like this shit. And then one morning I woke up, and it was in my head, and then I downloaded it..and then it was on my IPOD, and now I have become a slave to the damn song, so hopefully you will too.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

I wrote yesterday's emotional outburst less than 10 minutes after i had returned from the doctor's office because I wanted to accurately capture my emotions. When I read it over this morning, I was a bit ashamed of how I sounded. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely scared, and all types of negative and depressing thoughts have gone to and fro in my mind. But as various folks have said, i'll be alright and I'll be blogging about alrightness (i'm well aware this is not a word).

So last night my girlfriend and I went to see a movie entitled, "The Savages". The movie is a black comedy that discusses the issues adults face when their parents get old and need assisted living. There are portions of the film that were very depressing and made me want to cry(but I didn't), and then there were other parts of the film that were downright hilarious considering the delicate subject. Plus, Phillip Seymour Hoffman is one my favorite actors, so I always enjoy anything that he does. This is my poor excuse for a movie review, but I suggest you go see this movie, but not alone. Parts of the movie are uncomfortable, and its good to be able to discuss them with someone at the end. So now I am giving you movie advice and a slice of therapy.

Some other observations:

-Except for my son, I cannot think of the last time I have gone to see a movie with a man. My girl was mentioning how she's going to see this movie with some of her girlfriends. I sat and tried to think of a male equivalent, and I could not. Dudes will recommend or discuss movies after the fact, but there can be no male movie trips. at all.

-In my never ending quest to be a gentleman, I attempted to open two sets of doors for my lady last night. For the first set of doors, I just stepped in front of her and opened the door. When the second set of doors came, she slowed down, stepped to the left, and allowed me to open the second one. That made me smile, because SOME women will open the door themselves, or stand directly in front of the door, making it difficult for me to be the gentleman, and therefore depriving me of the brownie points I so desperately need and want. So women? you slow down, then slide left. Get it straight.

-My intern spent about 10 minutes talking about how his sister is talking to a borderline ghey dude, and it makes him uncomfortable. I asked him how he knew he was ghey, and he said, "Sometimes you can just tell when someone is gay, I just can't explain it". The irony was so overwhelming man, and if this were a movie, I would have looked directly in the camera and smiled.

Touch It - Monifah

Friday, January 11, 2008

The waiting game continues..the neurologist did some preliminary tests and then he scheduled a whole barrage of tests for me over the next couple of weeks. I am beyond frustrated right now, because too many times over the past few weeks, I have walked out of a doctor's office still not knowing what the hell is wrong with me. I am trying to pray, be patient and all that other stuff, but its driving me crazy. But as the neurologist said, we are one step closer, so I'll go with that..

Not feeling very bloggy today...

Thursday, January 10, 2008

My list of character flaws continues to grow as I get older, but there is one that has been around for quite some time, and that is my inability to let things go. The people who love and care about me have said the phrase "Rashad just let it go" or some variation of it, and I hear them..I really do, but it just doesn't happen that easily. Case in point, a couple of nights ago, a woman who lives down the hall, came to the door at 11:30pm, and asked m'lady and I to turn down the television. My lady just politely said ok, but then as she and I talked about it more, we worked ourselves into quite an angry lather about the whole situation. The way the building is set up, you can hear all kinds of noise from other apartments while in the hallway, but once you are in your apartment, its damn near impossible to hear anything. So this woman must have been coming home late, heard the noise, and she decided to come knock on the door. This happened two nights ago, yet every time I leave the apartment, I am thinking of diabolical things to do to this woman. I want to leave a large orange cone in front of her door, I want to knock on her door at 11:30pm and ask her to gauge my television volume, and I thought of some other things to do that I cannot really type because they are just mean and borderline racist I think. I really need to let it go, but I cannot stand the thought of being one-upped, and I feel like this woman has done just that. And if you let one person one-up you, it becomes habitual, and then I'll be taking L's all over the place. Never mind that I'm on the brink of turning 33, and I'm allegedly supposed to be mature. I never let a little thing like maturity and age get in the way of doing the wrong thing.

As soon as I get a new cell phone, I am going to record about 5 minutes worth of interaction with my intern, and then I am going to put it on youtube, so the world will see just how cool I am, and just how crazy and off this man is. I had my back to him yesterday, because I was trying to work, and every time he would tell a story, he would manipulate himself, so that he had eye contact with me. When I would turn my chair around, he would get in front of me..when I turned towards the computer, he would go in back of my computer, so he could look me in the eye to tell his story. And what was this epic story that was so important? A documentary on dogfighting he had seen on television, although that story led to another story about a cheetah and a dog fighting in Africa. His story was chock full of sounds, animal body movements, and facial expressions that I'm sure he makes when he masturbates in front of his mirror at home or in the work bathroom. This dude must be stopped, but until I get this youtubed, I will be tortured.

By the way, since I have not been medically cleared to begin working out, I have been walking home after work just to stay loose, and its really not that bad. This morning I decided to walk TO work, and I just felt like a loser. The actual walk is about a mile and a half, and its not a bad workout..if I was a soccer mom or a middle aged man. Every time I saw a someone jogging I felt like less than a man, and I thought of who I used to be before this back injury and this numbness became a part of my life. Even the power walkers with pansy ass weights and fancy workout clothes were passing me man. This can't be life, I need to be medically cleared ASAP.

Perfect Way - Scritti Politti
I woke this morning with this song in my head, and I have no idea where it came from. This song has the mid 80s dripping all over it.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I hate to be one of those people who uses sports to explain the nuances of life, but it is so fitting sometimes, so I shall continue to do just that. In boxing there is usually one fighter who takes the lead by jabbing and being the overall aggressor. But true fighting fans know that the REAL fight begins when the leader gets hit back. Sometimes(as in the case of Mike Tyson) once that front runner gets hit, they never regain control, and they generally self destruct. Other times, the front runner absorbs the hit, and then hits right back, and continues to dominate. And then you have those instances when the two boxers continue to go back and forth, and the viewer can no longer distinguish who is winning or losing. After last night's New Hampshire primary, Obama and Romney have officially been hit square in the mouth.

Romney's loss is more about his own expectations not being met. He made a concerted effort to win New Hampshire after his disappointing loss to Huckabee(I'm only using last names as you can tell..that's more of my sports influence)in Iowa. He was extra vocal in debates, he stepped up his campaign, and he fully expected to win in New Hampshire, and he came up short once again. It sucks to have to give your supporters that, "Sorry we came in second" speech twice within a week. I know its early but that type of thing can break one's spirit. In Obama's case, the blow is a little more shocking, because he had double digit leads in all the polls leading up to last night. So imagine his surprise, when he turned on the television and saw that he was trailing all night. Clinton's lead vacillated all night between 2 and 5 points and she eventually won by 2. And then, to make things worse, as soon as she won, all the analysts compared Clinton's comeback victory to her husbands's "victory" in the 1992 New Hampshire primary when Bill called himself the "comeback kid" after losing by 8 points, despite being projected to lose by much more. So Obama has to hear all that jazz until he can possibly redeem himself in the next primary which is in Nevada I believe. Clearly this race isn't over yet, but had Obama won by his projected amount, he would be floating on Cloud 9(skipping over 1-8). As of now, he has to figure out how to regain momentum.

Speaking of Bill Clinton, this man has truly got it made. He gets paid an insane amount of money to do public speaking; he can also throw in a plug or two for his wife, and start of all sentences by saying, "Well you know when I was President.."; if his wife ever pisses him off or they get in an argument, he can give backhanded compliments to her supporters by saying, "You know honestly if I was running, I'd win pretty convincingly, but since I can't Hilary is a good second choice i guess"; and finally, he has plenty of time to get head and non-sex from beautiful women all over the world without the constraints and the scrutiny of that whole White House place. What else could a 61 year old man want?

Piano in the Dark - Brenda Russell

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I have watched all the Presidential debates that have been on television over the past few days, and I have decided that when I grow up I wanted to be a debate moderator for no other reason than to show the candidates and the world exactly how it should be done. Watching some of these debates is like listening to Roger Clemens and his boy talk on the telephone. Lots of things are being said, and there is posturing on both sides, but the RIGHT questions are not being asked, and bullshit answers are considered to be acceptable. Whether it was Chris Wallace or Charles Gibson, it just seemed like the moderator's job was not to moderate, but to basically ask dumb questions and then get bombarded with long-winded answers. I know and understand that the candidates are supposed to be the stars of this show, but at some point, all you hear from them is campaign speak, not real answers. So I have devised a list of rules that I will enforce when I allegedly moderate the presidential debate later this year:

1) I control the microphones of all the candidates(more on that later)
2) Please answer all questions with a "Yes" or a "No" and then go into more depth. No vague or nebulous answers will be accepted, and failure to comply with cause me to turn your mic off.
3) No finger pointing. And when I saw finger pointing, I don't mean don't accuse other candidates of doing anything wrong, because that is what makes a debate good. I'm talking physically pointing fingers, or clasping your thumb and your index finger when you think you making a good point. You aren't a crip, you aren't a blood, and you aren't a Roc boy, so I don't expect to see those types of gang signs. Just say your piece and move on
4) No applause seeking statements. I've seen debates when a candidates says something, and then kind of waits with a pregnant pause waiting for the audience to chime in..if they happen to applaud then fine. But save those pauses for your first inauguration or State of the Union address when that type of thing is standard procedure.
5) When the moderator says your time is up, then your time is up. Don't try to son the moderator by saying, "no let me finish", because your sound will be cut quicker than Kanye's was after slamming Bush. I will say that it is a moderator's job stay out of the way when a good dialogue is jumping off, but at some point enough is enough, and the candidates need to accept that. They can save the rambling 20 minutes speeches for the individual stops they may make on the campaign trail.
6) You don't get to know the questions ahead of time. If students in school can have impromptu tests, and then goddammit, the president-to-be should have impromptu questions. If this process was in motion back in 2000, we could have weeded out Bush's inept ass a long time ago

That's all I have right now, I'm sure someone will chime in with something more intelligent for me to add.

Grand Finale - The D.O.C. featuring NWA

The D.O.C.'s first album is one of the 10 greatest rap albums ever made in my humble opinion. If it weren't for the car accident that mangled his voice, he would be known as one of the best rappers of all time. Instead, all we have is this cd, and the various songs he ghostwrote for NWA, Dr. Dre, etc. This particular song is my favorite one off of his first cd. Lots of cursing, but lots of good also features a hungry, 1988 version of Ice Cube.

Monday, January 07, 2008

So I went to the doctor today, and basically the waiting game will continue. When I explained my symptoms to the doctor, he told me that I needed to give blood, so that the lab could do some extensive blood work, and he recommended me to a neurologist on Friday morning. He said that between the blood work, and the extensive tests I will undergo on Friday morning, some types of answers will be revealed, and its not a minute too soon. I continue to have periodical numbness, and its freaking me the hell out and making it difficult for me to sleep. It hit me once again that all of these mysterious ailments are happening just two weeks shy of 33rd birthday. I need to be healthy by then, so I can REALLY enjoy it.

All of these ailments have me a bit depressed and scared, so instead of going to work, I decided to have a little bit of fun. So my lady and I went to see the Anne Leibovitz exhibit entitled: A Photographer's Life. The way I want to reach people with my blog, Anne is able to do beautifully through pictures. She had pictures of famous people, she had pictures of her children(children that she didn't have until she was in her 50s), she chronicled her best friend's fight with cancer, and she photographed her father less than 2 hours after his death. It was moving, but I also found it to be quite inspirational. I want people to walk away from my blog feeling happy, sad, pensive, and everything in between, and watching Anne's exhibit made me realize I have a long way to go.

Public Enemy - Show Em Whatcha Got

Sunday, January 06, 2008

I'm in between watching football games today, and I thought I'd write a bit just to get something off my chest. During the course a football game, you are liable to see over 100 commercials for a variety of different products. But there is one commercial that I find to be highly creepy, and that is the one for Lipitor Lipitor is a cholesterol reducing drug, and it is supposed to significantly reduce the risk of heart attacks, and frankly I am all for that. In an effort to push their product, Lipitor got Dr. Robert Jarvik to appear in the commercials, which is fine since Dr. Jarvik invented the artificial heart. He is more than qualified to wax poetic on the issue. The problem here, is that Dr. Robert Jarvik is a creepy looking guy who looks just like child molester or perhaps a mass murderer. Every time I see the commercial, the brilliance of the man and the product he is pushing is lost, and all I can see is an imaginary thought balloon over his head saying, "hmm, who I am going to kill toNIGHT". I hope someone else has seen this commercial, so that everyone can see that I am not crazy for observing and writing about this. And even if I am, I am QUITE sure Dr. Jarvik has me beat.

Lapdance - N.E.R.D.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Ok this is an entry that will probably interest no one except me, but I'm writing in the blog, so it will forever be documented and immortalized. Yesterday, after all those health problems I had, I sent my son a care package via next day mail which included a Lemony Snicket book, Madden '08, the movie Lemony Snicket(which he had never seen) and most importantly a pre-paid cellphone. I wrote him a little note in there, which said he had to be very judicious with his minutes, I wrote his new number down for him, and I explained to him that the instructions were in the package. So about 10 minutes ago, I come back to my desk at work, and I notice I have a missed call on my phone from my son, and I couldn't contain my smile. I called him back, heard a "Hey Daddy" over the phone, and my smile got even bigger. THAT has officially made my day and probably my weekend.
So yesterday around noon, I was sitting here at my desk and my left hand started to go numb, and I felt a bit dizzy, so I grabbed my cell phone and went outside to get some fresh air. Once I realized it was too cold to go outside, I called my ladyfriend to say hello, and while I was on the phone, but left hand went so numb that I dropped the cell phone and I had to switch it to my right hand, and it was at this point that my legs started tingling a bit too. Since this was the second time this had happened within a two week span, I decided it would be smart for me to call 911, so I had the security guards in my building do just that. 5 minutes later, the paramedics arrived, in the lobby.

Now, I explained to them what was wrong with me, and I asked them if I could just walk to the truck, and then they could lay me down and examine me once I was in there, but they refused. So, in the lobby of my building, in front of a growing number of co-workers, they put me on a stretcher, took my temperature, checked my blood pressure and examined my heart rate, and at the point everything was normal. Then they wheeled me out and into the truck. I must admit I was very scared, because at this point my hands and legs were still tingling, and I had no idea what was going to happen. I didn't let my cellphone go the entire time, and I called my lady and my father, and told them I was headed to George Washington University hospital. While I was in the truck, the paramedics were very friendly and accommodating..except for the part when they were trying to put an IV in my arm. It took them awhile to find the vein, and they once they penetrated my skin, it still seemed like it was the work of an amateur. Plus I thought an IV was a bit extreme, but they informed me this was precautionary procedure so I didn't complain.

I could continue to go into detail, but I think I've typed enough. The point is, I was examined by two doctors at GW hospital, and they couldn't find anything wrong. They said because the numbness is only in one hand, it could be an advanced case of carpal tunnel. The couldn't quite explain the leg tingling and numbness, but they said it could very well be inactivity since I haven't done a lot of working out, but they suggested I get an MRI and call a neurologist just to be sure, so I will be doing both on Monday. I don't know whether my age is catching up to me or what, but I can tell you I was summoning every prayer(I know 2)I knew while I was in the ambulance and in the hospital while I was alone for 20 minutes before my lady came. I was and still am a bit scared and frustrated, but hopefully by Monday I'll have more definitive answers.

I may not agree with all of his politics and tactics, but damn if it wasn't nice to see a black man win the Iowa caucus. I know that's a bit shallow, but given that in year's past the only black candidates worth speaking of were two preachers(Jesse and Al) and an ultra-conservative black man who only runs for office to up his honorarium(Alan Keyes) it was about time that a "normal" brother decided to run and has done so quit successfully. However a victory in Iowa does not a president make, so we'll see how he is doing after Super Tuesday. For now, he should celebrate and try to carry this momentum into New Hampshire. I can honest say that as of January 4th, I am still clueless as to who I will vote for.

Triumph - Wu-Tang Clan

This whole song is good, but the best part to me occurs at the 1:29 mark of the song and lasts until 1:32. I would type out what is said, but this is a family blog goddammit. And when you hear this part, you have to say it out loud and with a scowl on your face.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Well, he is back.

I was in the midst of going through my first few work emails of the new year, and the dreaded intern came through the door with reckless abandon. He extended his hand for some complicated handshake, that I was not yet up on, and he was smiling at me as if I was Santa Claus himself. Normally I would say that words could not properly capture how irritated I was, but I think I will give it a shot. From 9am when he initially walked in here, until about 10:30am when he finally settled his happy ass down, I was bombarded with conversation. He wished me a Happy New Year, I said thank you. He asked to see my pictures of the Xmas holiday, that just happened to be sticking out of my bag; he told me about his alleged girlfriend; and when the song Candy Rain came on my radio, he wanted to wax poetic about the greatness of the group Soul for Real. Then he proceeds to offer me a burned copy of the new Alicia Keys cd, because according to him, it is incredible. That offer had to violate some unwritten man law.

Finally, I got myself together, and I said to him, "Look, I didn't know you were coming today, but now that you're here, let's get some work done and try to cut down the small talk", and he looked at me funny, then he calmed down. I did learn however, that he allegedly lost the password to his gmail account, which meant he never got the email I sent to him. Initially I didn't believe him, but as the day went on, and he continued to kiss up to me, I actually think he never received the scathing document. This delights me to no end, because now I can actually work on my email a little more, and add a little more spice to it, because clearly it is still necessary. When he finally left around 4pm, he gave his customary handshake, and he left. I was caught off guard by his arrival, but no such thing is going to happen today. I devised a mini-packet of work he needs to get done between now and his departure on January 24th.

Clearly I was not consulted on whether he should return, and I won't be a total jackass to him because if nothing else, I pride myself on being professional(a total lie). But professionally speaking, I am going to work his ass like nobody's business, and then before he leaves I will verbally give him the speech that I emailed to him last summer. I can't have that man thinking its ok to slack off, leave people hanging, and then come back like nothing matters. I shall step off the soapbox now, as I think he has officially gotten under my skin.

I Put A Spell On You - Nina Simone

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Each and every year since I was about 17, I can remember being shackled by the "Happy New Year" phrase. January 1st is usually spent resting and sleeping, but once I return to civilization, I am expected to say something like, "Happy New Year" or "How was your break?" or "Welcome Back!". Well guess what? I'm drawing my line in the sand this year, and I refuse to be forced to say any of those cliches. It's a vicious cycle, and if you do it once, you have to keep it up until Martin Luther King Day. So all I will be saying to people is "good morning" or "hello", and if they say "Happy New Year" to me, I will say thank you, and then the awkward silence will surely come after that, but that's really not my problem. The madness has to stop somewhere, and 2008 is as good of a time as ever to stop it.

Other musings:

-According to one of my favorite writers, Conan O'Brien will struggle in his return to the air without writers way more than Leno, Letterman, Daly etc, and I do believe I will check this out tonight at 12:30am.

-As I was buying the new Wu-Tang Clan CD on Monday, I realized that it had been EXACTLY 15 years since I bought my first Wu-Tang product. It was New Year's Eve 1992, when I bought a Wu-Tang maxi-single. On one side was "Protect Ya Neck" and on the other side was "M.E.T.H.O.D. Man", and I got in the car with my boy Cliff, and we proceeded to pump that song in his Geo Tracker. Time does indeed fly.

M.E.T.H.O.D. Man - Wu-Tang Clan
For those of you who have not heard this particular version of the song, you must endure a minute-long interlude of various forms of torture before the song begins. I assure you that, and the song are very child and work friendly.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

I resisted the temptation of writing a trite year-end list/wrap up yesterday, as I saw many people do on various websites. Its not that I didn't have a good year, because I did, I just didn't feel like writing all that b.s. So now its a new year, and I can talk about what I want to accomplish. But first, I must speak on some bullshit that happened to my lady and I last night.

We made a reservation at a restaurant through at a fine restaurant called Grillfish. The reservation was made for 6:30pm, but we walked in at 6:38pm. When we attempted to make good on our reservation, our server(a white, ghey man) tells us that Open Table has cancelled our reservation, because we are 15 minutes late. I look at my cell phone, and it says 6:38pm, and my lady's phone says 6:40, and we both let him know what time it is, and he responds by saying, "According to Open Table, it is 6:47pm, so they cancelled it". Now apparently my lady and I didn't get the memo that these 7 to 9 minute disparities in time are fairly common in the restaurant world. Anyway the server tells us that he does have a table available, but that table is reserved starting at 8pm, and if we can eat our meal in about an hour(or maybe 30 minutes according to his tricky watch) we could do that. My lady and I looked at one another with incredulous looks, and then we were interrupted by the server's voice once again, "Can you eat in like an hour and a half", and we told him to sit us at the bar. Since we were there to celebrate our love and new year's eve and all that, we didn't really complain about anything, although we talked about it amongst ourselves for quite sometime. We both found it hard to believe that our RESERVED table had magically disappeared that quickly and we couldn't still sit there. Plus, a good server in that instance would have found a non-timed way to accommodate fact now that I think about it, we should asked for a manager. But we got it back, because our bartender/waitress gave us a free round of drinks and we had a great time at the bar. But believe, we are going back there, and I am harassing that man. And if you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know I am JUST that petty and immature.

By the way, a practical person might read the above story, and simply say, "Why weren't you and your lady at the restaurant right at 6:30?" That is a valid question, and I suppose we should have gotten there on time, although everyone deserves a grace period right?

Anyway, this year, I plan on travelling to Australia, running a marathon, sending my mother on a cruise, buying my son a laptop/computer, and most importantly getting engaged. Those aren't even resolutions or wishes, those are items that will get accomplished. I'm sure that list will increase in the near future.

And finally, I realized that I have a serious man-crush on Tiger Woods. They have been doing a review of his 12 year career on the Golf Channel, and I CANNOT stop watching. It's pretty creepy actually.

Dolly My Baby (remix) - Supercat