Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I couldn't sleep last night at all. It is totally demoralizing to look up at the clock, and realize that it is 4:00am, and you have not seen even a minute of sleep. And then when I finally did fall asleep, my alarm went off at 6:20, and I did NOT want to get up at all. Now my eyes are red, my attitude is poor, and I want to mush someone in the worst way. What's a mush you may ask? That's when you firmly press your hand on someone's face, and then you push them away. Its way more demeaning than hitting or slapping someone, and if you haven't had the opportunity to do it to someone, I highly suggest it. It's a good stress reliever..especially when you are operating on 90 minutes of sleep. I mean sure the person you mush may retaliate in a fierce way, but hey, that's the risk you take.

I am going to make an doctor's appointment today, so that I can get him to figure out the source of my headaches, because that's part of the reason I couldn't sleep. At first I thought it was related to me needing glasses, but it feels a bit more serious than that. I've gotten some excellent suggestions as to how I should alleviate my headache, but none of them are working, and its starting to get a bit scary, so I shall visit the doctor. Whenever I go to the doctor, I fear that he will ask me to take an impromptu prostate exam. Don't get me wrong, I understand and respect the dangers of prostate cancer. But what I do NOT understand is the barbaric nature of the exam..I think I've spoken on this before, but the seriousness of this subject cannot be underestimated. The ONLY way I can feel safe that prostate cancer is not in my body, is to bend over and have the doctor(who is a man) stick his finger in my anal cavity? I cringe while I type that. And when women tell me that I'm being a wimp, because they have to do gyno exams every year I want to mush(see above for the definition) them too. I am not doubting the discomfort of a gyno exam, but come on man women have been getting those for a good 10 years by the time they reach my age. I have been living 31 years without a finger in me, and now my world and comfort zone are being rudely interrupted by a probing, gloved finger with KY jelly on it...So yeah I hope the doctor can get this whole headache thing figured out.

One more comment about my sleepless night..when I have nights like that, I wish I could call up my ex and tell her to come over. I could have used some damn comfort, and between good conversation and sex, she would have calmed me, made me laughed, and then put me to sleep with an impressive array of body gyrations, pelvic thrusts and moans. That is very selfish of me I know, but sleep deprivation does things to you man..bad things.

Also, if you haven't already, I highly suggest that you spend an entire non-work day, speaking in a British accent. Not that fake accent that Madonna and Tina Turner use, but a Lennox Lewis, Jeffrey from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air type accent. It throws people way off, and its something I'm prone to do especially when I get tipsy.

I'm going to put this entry out of its misery..clearly the lack of sleep has affected my brain, as well my ability to be effectively coherent.

And now, some Al B. Sure


hadassah444 said...

Hey, why dont men have female doctors? would you feel any better about it if the dr was female?

you should try a detox, Rashad

Jo said...

Yeah . . .you surely weren't making any sense with this blog . . .by the way . . .you weren't complaining when that chick had her tongue up your ass! ;o)