Wednesday, January 03, 2007

So yesterday I had my physical, and I got violated man. Big time. I finally had my prostate exam, and it simply was not cool at all. The doctor started off my talking to me about the Washington Wizards chances to win the NBA title this year. And in the very next breath he said to me, put your elbows on the table, and I was like what? (in my head). So while talking about Gilbert Arenas, my doctor proceeds to stick his fingers all the way up my ass..sorry to be so explicit here, but you can't possibly imagine how violated I felt man..And then after he took his hands out, he just kept on talking to me about God, the NBA and his marriage. And I STILL feel the effects of him doing that(i'll spare the details). I told him that there has to be a better way, and he said that there is, but the involves an even more invasive procedure, and I was like fine, I'll stick to the fingers in the ass. But its nothing a straight man should have to endure.

I also learned at the doctor that I now have high blood pressure, which is not cool at all man..as a result, I have no choice but to alter my diet and workout habits ASAP. As my doctor said to me, I'm at the age where any bad habits can be nipped in the bud, and corrected without long term damage, so I'm going to take note and correct that. I don't want to be one of those men, who has a laundry list of health problems in his 40s and beyond. I will total piece of mine, once my HIV/STD tests come back..no matter how many times I take it, and no matter how safe I've been, I always breathe a big sigh of relief when it comes back..I can't wait until tomorrow.

I'm about to lose my voice man..this happens to me at least once every year, and I feel it happening right now. Part of me likes it, because it means I can sound like Harry Belafonte or Candyman..both long time heroes of mine.

By the way, this has nothing to do with anything, but my appreciation for Stevie Wonder's CD, Innervisions has grown over the past couple of days. I bought the CD, because the song Jesus Children of America was played in the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. But while I was just trying to hear that song, I got the chance to listen to the entire CD for the first time in like 5 years, and the genius of Stevie never gets old. He talks about heaven, drug abuse, jesus, being in love, falling out of love, and city living. And unlike some artist who have good messages, but bad music, he manages to tackle both successfully. So if you have the chance, run out and buy it..

4 comments:

hadassah444 said...

I cant believe I have a 31 yr old friend with HBP
Stop eating all that pork....
that stuff will kill ya!!!

Dana-Marie said...

Men are such wimps.

Women go through an annual pap AND breast check. Froggernockle.

Talk about INVASIVE? Imagine having a doctor with whom you've never even had a first date, much less LUNCH, spreading you wide open in a sterile environment...and then groping your breasts, unsolicited.

Whether the doc be male (in which case he AND a female nurse are lookin' at your goods) or female, and whether you be straight or gay, that is one appointment NO WOMAN looks forward to.

Punk.

:-P

the candylady said...

hey! candyman is one of my heroes too! i got expelled from elementary school for bringing him to class on career day. the principal blamed the fact that a couple of my teachers came up missing the day after on my bringing mr. candyman. sheesh! good thing they didnt catch mr. candyman.
"Let's walk to the bridge now meet me halfway
now you may see some children dead off in the pathway
it's them poor babies walkin' slowly to the candylady"

Jo said...

Glad you made it to the DOC! Congrats that you were able to make it through the invasive procedure. Now that that's tackled, you will get good results back - we pray. And, you will now schedule that ortho appointment to get those braces removed. 2007 is ALREADY off to a good start for you. I will use you as my role model! ;o)