Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Every morning from 8:30-10:30 I listen to the Tony Kornheiser show on Washington Post radio, and recently he has been obsessed with the notion that the animals all over the world are on the brink of a revolt. Most of it is tongue in cheek, but every now and then he'll reference a story that makes me believe he may very well be on to something. WAnd after this morning, I'm definitely a believer. First of all, squirrels are simply not scared anymore. I walked past a squirrel this morning right outside my door, and he didn't budge. I was on the right of him and he watched me with his right eye until I walked all the way past him, and the he continued to do whatever it is his kind does. Then about 5 minutes later, I saw a dead bird(dead birrrrd) on the side of the road, and there were larger, black crows around it, and they were flapping and talking without any regard to me walking one point, birds from all around, were swooping in and landing right by the dead bird, and I had to duck to get out of the way. If they put their collective bird minds to it, they could have taken me out, and that would be the end of Rashad. Just like that. I'm joking about this, but for a second I was paranoid. You can't run away from birds, because they can fly faster than humans can run, they have an uncanny ability to change directions(sounds like i'm talking about a running back) plus they can fly high and disappear, only to swoop back down and poke tiny holes in my brain, while their cousins go for my crotch, eyes, and wherever else. If you really sit and let your thoughts and imagination run away from you, there is just cause to be afraid..very afraid.

And speaking of dead birds, I think it was in the movie American Beauty, where I heard one of the main characters discuss the beauty of a dead animal. This character said when he looked into the eyes of the dead animal, he saw the animal's soul, and it was simply beautiful. Today, I looked at this dead bird's beak, eyes, feet, wings, etc ,and my friends I saw no beauty. None at all. What I saw was some creepy shit, and I halfway expect that bird to jump up and start going crazy. There's no beauty in dead animals, especially when the scavengers start feasting on it.

You ever sit around and wonder how long it would take for folks to know you were dead? I dont' make a habit of wondering about this, but every now and then I think of it. If I missed one day of blogging, I don't think it would be too alarming. But after 2, 3 even 4 days I think someone would be like hmmm, where's Rashad? I remember back when I broke my hand, I didn't blog for 3 days or so, and I got several phone calls on that third day about where I was, and was I alright. When you live alone(especially as you get older) you wonder about stuff like that, well at least I do. I do have people I talk to every day whether it be via email or phone, so I'm sure I'm covered in that department..but you never know.

I think I'm officially going crazy..I just proofread this entry, and it is weird, creepy and it makes no damn sense. but i'd be wrong if I deleted it, so i'm leaving it. This will NOT be in the book though.

Dionne Farris - I Know


Hadassah444 said...

start carrying a bebe gun Rashad, naw I'm just kidding.

this isnt creepy at all, I learned something. I'm such a loner that weeks, maybe months would go by until people notice I was gone.

tia said...

the birds would have to penetrate your skull before they could peck your brain. with your head that'd take a while so you'd have plenty of time to run for cover before they did any real damage.

Bashful said...

ROFL! Rashad this entry was great it was funny. I got some bad news today so I really really need the laugh. Thanks!

Jo said...

Yes, my dear, you ARE going crazy! And you are watching far too many scary movies. And it would only take a few hours for me to realize something was not right if I didn't see you blogging on any given day. Don't worried . . .if you are getting phone calls from friends at 4:30 a.m. in the morning, I am sure one of us would wonder what the heck was up with you if we didn't hear from you after a day . . .so, just make sure you call us back when we call you so we don't have to wonder . . .what's UP! ;o)