Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Just as an update from yesterday, the visit to the doctor went smoothly, and I was only there for 2 hours, which isn't bad at all. He gave me some anti-biotics for my ailments, and if I am still jacked up after that, I have to make a return visit. The scariest part of the visit for me was waiting for my chest x-ray to return. I've had x-rays on my teeth and broken hand before, but in those instances both the doctor and I knew something was wrong, it was just a matter of pinpointing exactly where it was. Yesterday's chest xray was more of an exploratory thing, and I was nervous, but everything came back just fine.

With the exception of trying to have sex after watching your wife give birth, I can't imagine feeling more inadequate than I do in the doctor's office. The nurse weighed me, took my blood pressure and my temperature, but she never really said much, she just had this smug look on her face. The only time she spoke is after she weighed me with all my clothes on, and I asked her how much less would I weigh without clothes. And she responded by saying I would way 2 lbs less(bullshit). I had on baggy jeans, 3 layers and sneakers, and all that accounts for 2lbs? I later confirmed this with the doctor, and he said that was incorrect, and I snitched on his nurse. But my doctor kept with the making-me-feel-inadequate theme by asking me if I had been working out(not consistently), and if I was still with the woman who caused me to break my hand(no). And then I lived in fear that he wanted to do a year ending prostate exam just for the hell of it. No such thing happened, and I am on my way to a healthy recovery.

Other observations:

-I never give these types of sites much credibility, but this one reports that Queen Latifah does indeed have the ghey. This comes as no surprise to me, as I always thought she was a bit of a handsome woman. And in 2007, the only group of people who could surprise me with a gay admission, are NBA and NFL players. Eveyrone else is fair game

- I think God and his administrative assistants in the sky, need to come up with some new rules regarding snow. It does no one any good to see 1-3 inches of snow. Schools aren't cancelled, work is still open, and after an hour, that snow is knocked completely off the main road. There needs to be a 5 inch minimum on snowfall at the very least. 5 inches is GUARANTEED to shut the city of DC down, plus it makes decision makers thing long and hard about cancelling or at least delaying activities. But this morning's 1 inch snowfall is a joke. I need the kind of snow that will allow me to wake up, look out of the window, get happy, and then get back in bed and have warm sex in the cold weather. And yes there is such a thing as cold sex.

- Yesterday, as I left the doctor's office, it was so windy, that I faced the wind, and attempted to do the Smooth Criminal lean. It didn't quite work out for me though.

-I shall go out on a limb and say that New England Patriots will finally lose this weekend to the Pittsburgh Steelers, and then they will get mad and beat the shit out of every team they play and win the Super Bowl.

Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson


lex said...

im glad the x-rays came back fine...are you feeling better?

and that certainly is BS @ only adding 2lbs. I add at least 5 when i'm fully dressed. 6 if im wearing boots. it makes me feel better. :(

lol @ you trying to do the smooth criminal lean. did they really do that? i always wondered if it was an illusion.

and it just started snowing here. snow is dumb.

tia said...

lol at capping the year off with another prostate exam.

LittleTortilla stays in DC said...

Yeah this snow is a joke. I woke today like "man, fuck you."

Janelle said...

I'm searching You Tube for footage of your Smooth Criminal lean. hahahahahaha