Friday, February 27, 2009

So I am walking into work this morning, feeling good because its Friday, and President Obama may be coming to tonight's Wizards game, when all of a sudden I saw this woman waving at me from across the street. The first thing I did is look behind me to make sure she wasn't possibly waving to someone else, but there was nothing behind me but traffic, so I looked at the woman again, and she was still waving emphatically. My natural route to work required me to cross the street, but instantly, I was looking for some detours, because I didn't want any small talk from a woman who knew me, but not vice versa. But at this point the detour would have looked too obvious, so I crossed the street, removed my headphones at the same time she removed hers, and I said, "Umm, do I know you?"

At this point the woman was like yes, you don't remember me, my name is Sheree, I met you a couple of years back. Instantly a montage of everyone I ever slept with flashed through my mind, and I was QUITE sure I had never been with Sheree. Then the woman went on to say that she was a student of my mother when she taught at George Mason University, and she had met me at a going away party for her. I still didn't remember the woman but I acted like I did, and we talked for a bit. She asked me how my new baby was, how married life was going, and other tidbits that were clearly directed towards my younger brother and not me, so I politely corrected her. At this point, I was just counting down the seconds to when one of us would put this conversation out of its misery, and finally she did, and I THOUGHT we were going our separate ways..not so much though.

It turned out we were both headed in identical directions, and when I realized this, I slowed my gait, acted like I was looking for something in my pockets, and I let her walk in front of me, so I wouldn't have to walk along side her. Unfortunately for me, Sheree walked slow as molasses, so despite me giving her a 15-20 second head start, after like 3 steps, I was right back along side of her. So I basically started speed walking like an absolute jackass, but as I passed her, I threw her a wave and a "take care", and kept it moving without looking back.

Now you may be asking what the big deal is, and I'll tell you. 1)I don't like small talk at all, but I damn sure don't like it at 8am, which why I have headphones on. 2)People say do unto others have you would have them to unto you..if I saw someone that I had briefly met 2 years ago, do you think I would stop and chat? HELLS NO. I would completely ignore them, then send them an email saying I was right next to them on the street, and it was good seeing them. Then they'd ask me why I didn't stop and chat, and I'd blame it on being late for work or something. All via email. Catching up via email is harmless and my preferred mode of communication. So Sheree, if you stumble upon my blog(and you aren't pissed by now), I enjoyed seeing you, but next time just email me or better yet tell my mom you saw me, and let her relay the message. Everyone wins.

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Fall In - Esperanza Spaulding


Jamal said...

Too funny. You have to wonder about people who are that pressed to speak to someone they barely know.

maxwellsmusze said...

Damn Sheree! HAHA! She is NOT gonna be happy reading this.

£ said...


this whole thing is hilarious because i've experienced a version of it numerous times. It sucks when people don't respect the headphones. I mean sometimes it works as a conversation deterrent but then there are those folks who miss or choose to ignore the context clues. what's up with that?

regardless you aint right for trying to linger behind homegirl and then when that didn't work, becoming carl lewis. LOL (you know i feel you though)

great song. I love ms spalding. she looked and sounded fantastic at the stevie tribute.

Janelle said...

well having first hand experience on your "I see you in the street but I'll holla later", I am not surprised!!! hahahahahaha