Friday, June 19, 2009

I ran into "The Talker" this morning while I was in the pool. Just in case you are not familiar with "The Talker", allow me to give you a little background. The Talker is that man or woman, who talks out loud to no one in particular, hoping you will engage them for just a second, so they can return the favor for many more seconds. When you are as anti-social as I have become, you really can't afford not to diagnose these ass clowns quickly and efficiently, otherwise you will find yourself getting flummoxed and flustered.

Initially, while I was in the pool, I didn't know this guy was a talker. I just noticed that he had on a swimsuit reminiscent of the ones worn by the Olympic swimmers in the 2008 Olympics. It was tight, form fitting and designed for fast swimming, which is fine if you are actually comfortable with the suit. From the moment this guy walked in, he was clearly fighting with himself. In fact, he resembled Bill Bixby changing into the Incredible Hulk, and I did my best not to laugh..I just kept swimming.

But when he got in the pool next to me, the FIRST thing I heard him say was, "Goddamn this suit is so heavy, sh*t!" As much as I admired him starting and ending his sentence with profanity, I ignored him, because instantly I knew he was a talker. I quickly started swimming to other side of the pool and back, and we ended up on opposite ends. But still, I heard him say, "Man this is heavy..I had no clue". Mind you, there was one other swimmer and the lifeguard in the room, but they all knew he was a talker and they ignored him. Luckily for me, I only swam about 10 more minutes before my time was up, but while I was leaving the pool area, he could be seen trying to take the whole suit off, which was hilarious. At this point, he looked like Spiderman in black trying to break free. As I walked by I said, "Having a tough time huh?", and his face lit up ,and he was like, "Dude, this suit is a beast....." I heard him say other things, but I was out the door already..

I don't think I fully captured how funny that scene really was..sorry about that..

By the way, I am without a phone for now. I had organic, chicken soup in my some Tupperware in my bag yesterday, and it spilled everywhere, including into each and every crevice of my phone. I can turn my phone on, but the buttons don't work at all, which renders it useless. And, me being the genius that I am, I forgot to get insurance on the phone, which means if I want another G1, I will have to pay damn near $400. I took it to the cell phone repair shop briefly yesterday, and they said it would cost $250 to fix it, but they couldn't guarantee it would work like it did before, which is a waste of money. I spent the entire day feeling helpless and stupid. You never realize how dependent you are on your phone until its on injured reserve...

I'm rambling..but before I go, allow to link my favorite version of the Roots song, "You Got Me". It was live at the 930 Club here in DC back in 2002, and I just happened to be in attendance. It was an incredible, electric scene...The best part? The 5:36 mark when the beat switches

1 comment:

sixfive said...

My life consists primarily of avoiding talkers, they can come at any time - work, metro, walking the dog, grocery store. You just never know, but you get pretty good at spotting them (or hearing them) from a distance.