Thursday, April 14, 2011

I promise I won't keep mentioning my son and hair issues...

Yesterday morning around 6am or so, my son started to undo his braids because he felt like on that particular day he wanted the afro look. He was cutting it close because his bus arrived at 7am, and his mother warned him about how close he was cutting it but my son assured his mother that everything would be just fine. When he finally walked out of the door to catch the bus, he had unbraided all but two braids, but assured his mother everything would be fine (no way in hell would that have been acceptable under my administration).

My son walked out of house, waited for the bus, and tried to remove those last two braids, but they just would not budge. My son ran back home to ask his mother for help, and she gladly helped him out, but she said if he missed the bus there would be hell to pay. My son and his freshly removed two braids ran back outside and saw the bus passing him by like the Pharcyde, and he took that long walk of shame back in the house to give his mother the bad news.

His mother didn't get mad at all, she just calmly gave him a ride to school, and then told him that the hair was coming off that night because he basically had chosen his precious hair over the school bus. She said my son was emotionless. She called me after she dropped him off, and I'll admit I had mixed feelings. I was glad the hair was coming off, but I was upset that the agreement my son and I had signed off on was now void..kind of. I still expect the good grades, but now I have to come up with new incentives, which is kind of sad when you think about it..good grades should not have incentives tied to them..I digress.

I told my son's mother to have him call me before any hair was removed and he did. I basically told him that if he were in the right, I could have possibly saved him from his fate. But I told him what he did earlier that day was dead wrong, and now he would have to man up and take his punishment. Then I heard sniffles and whimpers, and I realized he was crying, which is absolutely the wrong thing to do with me over the phone. I ignored his crying, I finished my speech and I asked him why he was crying, and he said that he really wanted to keep his braids. I reminded him that a man who wants to keep his braids doesn't undo them an hour before school, and he agreed. I also told him that crying was fine, but learning his lesson and acting with some damn sense was more important. He finally stopped crying, I told him to call me later if he needed to, and we got off the phone.

20 minutes later his mother called me saying my son lost his temper, she had to (try to) spank him, and they were at some kind of standoff. She said it was time for him to come live with me (a statement she rescinded towards the end of the conversation, but she's absolutely right) and that I needed to talk to him. Because my talk would involved loud talking and choice words I said I'd call when I left work, but I wasn't able to reach my son (or his mother for that matter) yesterday evening. I'm hoping that means that a short-term resolution was reached. But I'm 100% sure that hair was cut off..his mother was pissed

But I'm betting good money that when my son starts high school in September, he'll be catching the bus from my house not his mother's...Thanks for humoring me on this.


Miss. Lady said...

Spank him? He is entirely to old to get spankings. Now a good punch? Yeah, that works. Oh and he lost his temper too?? Yeah after he came back to consciousness he would have been packing his things and on his way to his dad. I don't deal with foolishness.

rashad said...

Well Miss Lady after talking to his mother this morning, she did indeed punch him..

Miss. Lady said...

Good! It is a one, two combination; punch and pack.

Jazzbrew said...

Man this brings back (bad) memories. My mom tried to spank me at about 14 and I just looked at her like... And??

My pops came home, heard the story and promptly stole me dead in my chest. Not condoning child abuse but I think the message is clear. Order in the house was firmly restored.

Kudos to both you and your son's mother for the handling of the situation. Yes... I am still taking notes.

Janelle said...


Well it may not have been executed the way you envisioned but at least he doesn't have the hairstyle anymore.

"saw the bus passing him by like the Pharcyde" This line is EPIC. If this story ever became a movie, that song, that line 'SHE KEEPS ON PAAAAAAAASING MEEEE BYYYYY" must play as he watches the bus passing right before him. hahahahaha

Jazzbrew said...

And Janelle, now I have that song in my head. Great tune.