Friday, September 22, 2006

I'd like to take a bit of time to write about YOU. I know at some point during the week, if not everyday, you click on the link to my blog, and read all about what is going on with me. You may be that person who reads faithfully, but never really sees it necessary to comment; or you may be that nosy person, who just wants to see what Rashad is up to, without really having to talk or email him. There's a touch of voyeurism in you, and this blog feeds that fetish. Or maybe you're a bitter to semi-bitter ex of mine in some capacity, who reads hoping you'll find something you can gloat on the inside about, but instead you find something that hurts your little bullshit feelings. Or maybe you appreciate this blog, and you like my writing, but you're way too shy to comment. Or finally, maybe you're an egotistical bastard who reads, and then wants to comment, you forgot your password, so rather than post anonymously, you don't post a comment at all because then no one will be able see that you commented. To each one of you, hello, and leave a comment please. It's free and most importantly, if you don't leave a comment, you must be a terrorist, and I will strike down upon thee with furious vengeance

After a 3 week hiatus, I finally talked to my dad yesterday. It puzzles me that he almost NEVER calls me. And then as soon as I call, he says you know I was just thinking about you..I'm like then pick up the phone man. My grandmother told me one day that the onus is always on the child to initiate and maintain contact with the parent, and I suppose that is true..especially since my father is getting older. We had our usual conversation talking about lesbian/straight women, sports, college nostalgia, and how proud he was of my brother for getting married. My father also reiterated that he will NEVER get remarried under any circumstances. He married my mother when he was 23, divorced her at 43, got remarried at 44, and was divorced again by 50. He enjoys his solitude, and says that if he seriously doubts that he'll get lonely. The male side of me admires that, especially in an era when so many people claim that they NEED a partner. But as his son, I worry about him. My father is a proud man, and I would never know if he had health problems, or even if he got lonely, because he wouldn't want to burden me. It wouldn't be so bad if he had a wife or main woman who I could talk to get the lowdown. I don't think its an issue right now, but I think about it. I think every child in their 30s(if not earlier) starts to think about their parents mortality. Yeah I pray and all that jazz, but despite that, I still get very concerned about both my parents as I get older..

Oh, and my brother Jamal reminded me yesterday that I HAVE been sexually whipped before, so I must come clean about that. In the summer of '95, my friend(who is now happily married with two kids) put it on me something fierce for a good 4 months..(2 during the summer, and 2 in the fall). I don't know how I forgot her, but it probably has something to do with our tumultuous breakup. But once my brother reminded me, I remember the entire torrid affair. Every time I count how many people I've had sex with, I always leave her out, and I'm not sure why..

And now, a jazz selection from Moe Koffman entitled: Days Gone By

6 comments:

Hannibal said...

Maybe u leave her out because u dont wanna dmit to being whipped..not the great Rashad..haha.

Either way....

Can u hear the lambs crying Clarice?

jack smith said...

Vernon can Blog

Anonymous said...

i hope i remembered my password, if not i'll copy and paste this anonomously. i'm taking time to embrace my inner voyeour today.

this line right here:

It puzzles me that he almost NEVER calls me. And then as soon as I call, he says you know I was just thinking about you

this is my mom!!!

Jo said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you . . .can we get some more commentors . . .RM and I both think all of you no-commentors are loosers . . .lazy bastards in his words . . .I wanna hear what everyone else is thinking, too! It makes for better conversation. RM I hope I haven't gotten you thinking about death - I apologize if I have. As for the phone calls with parents . . .I have to second anonymous - i NOW call my mom every week . . .before i used to just call every two weeks or so and she was always guilting me and saying,"Oh, I never hear from you anymore." Now that I call her weekly, she's like . . . thanks for calling, gotta go. It makes it easier for me . . .but i DO think that YOU are expected to be the initiator. I think that at some point parents think we are too busy for them, so if we aren't calling them, they would be bothering us if they called us . . .uh. . .which isn't really far from the truth. Think about it . . . when do you call your parents? I am sure it's not when you are mad busy . . .I actually have to be in the mood and plan my calls . . . parents call for undivided attention. Why is that the older we get, we begin doing more parenting of them than they do of us? AND, as for the "you got whipped" thing . . . you blocked her out, because you didn't want to imagine how PALE your other sexcapades have been since then . . .after all, if she was the measuring stick, you'd be horribly depressed and disappointed . . .I mean, because really, where or more importantly, with whom, will you ever find sex like that . . . OOPS, didn't mean to sadden you. Just conveniently erase her from your memory and then all your other sexcapades can seem great again!

aynek said...

I have learned that family is what you make it. I love both of ny parents for doing what they thought was right, for doing the best that they could.

However, i sometimes ask myself, Would i be freinds with my parents if they were someone i Met on the street?

Probably not,and now that I'm a parent myself, what do I want my kids to say about me? That they liked me as a person or that I was a good parent?

Just something to think about. I think a difference between us and our parents is that we "found oursleves" before we had kids. They "found " themselves during our childhood.

One more comment: Your Summer of 95 Friend

You leave her out because she is your friend. Always has been and the sex was something that just happen because you both were young and horny.

Just a thought

aynek said...

I have learned that family is what you make it. I love both of ny parents for doing what they thought was right, for doing the best that they could.

However, i sometimes ask myself, Would i be freinds with my parents if they were someone i Met on the street?

Probably not,and now that I'm a parent myself, what do I want my kids to say about me? That they liked me as a person or that I was a good parent?

Just something to think about. I think a difference between us and our parents is that we "found oursleves" before we had kids. They "found " themselves during our childhood.

One more comment: Your Summer of 95 Friend

You leave her out because she is your friend. Always has been and the sex was something that just happen because you both were young and horny.

Just a thought