Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I stopped avoiding my ex yesterday, after an entire weekend of dodging her. And when I did meet up with her we talked, argued, drank, laughed, and all that good stuff. And then she dropped a bomb on me by telling me something personal, which was one of the major reasons why she wanted to see me. Whenever you're dealing with someone, you never in a million years think that you're going to hear something like what she told me. My first thought honestly, was that I wanted to be with her..of course that would make a lot of my friends upset, and one friend in particular would be hurt, but that's what came to mind. And then my second thought was that if I did that, it would be out of pity, and even my ex says that pity is not what she wants or needs. So then my third thought, feels a lot like my first one..I can think of a lot of reasons why I shouldn't be with this woman, but also reasons why I should. I know this logic may be flawed, and I know that once I hit publish on this entry, I will get mad criticism, but I'm ready for that. That's one of the hazards of writing a blog..people read and have their opinions, and I am certainly cool with that. And not to sound overly defensive, but I am a grown man, and PART of being grown is making tough decisions and then living with them(see jolanda I do listen to you). So I'm making one today..yes Rosslyn is my ex for a reason as my friend Aisha and others have said, but I also love her for a reason. Those who know me pretty much know that I've never really completely shaken her and yes I have tried....REAL HARD. But I'm getting back with her, and making all the sacrifices that go with it.

There's no way I'm proofreading this. And yes other things happened to me yesterday, involving my son, my mother, etc, but i'm not discussing that shit right now. This is at the top of the list.

6 comments:

hadassah444 said...

You are the man Rashad!!!!
Now that I look back at the dreams you had...the hill, the fight, Im wondering if this is some how related....

Take good care of her Rashad
God Bless you both

Anonymous said...

whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. You did NOT tell me that in our convo yesterday...wow. Well, call me. You only got one life, live it, i'm all for romantic idealism. However, I strongly advise you NOT to make this decision while you are still emotional. Sit on it because it is a big one. I will support you either way.

Janelle said...

Wow!!! Your loyalty is astounding. While I may not know all the details I'm proud of you and your courage.

Jo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Miss Black River said...

Love is a precious gift. If you feel this is the one to share your life then go for it. Try reading this book by Stormie Omartian called "The Power of a Praying Husband". I know you haven't decided on marriage, but this is the type of book anyone in romantic relationship can appreciate.

LittleTortilla stays in DC said...

I totally believe in love and in my blog I've wrote about the person I can't shake. However, I'm a big believer in logistics. You can love someone and you always will. That doesn't mean it's possible to be together for whatever reason. I say all of this not knowing a single detail about this. At least you get another chance to see, we all aren't so lucky. I'm going to say congrats on taking a chance and of course I wish you the best.