Thursday, August 09, 2007

There are times when I see someone riding their bike, when I want to jump up and tackle them. If I was successful at executing this tackle, I wouldn't get hurt at all, because I would land on the person riding the bike. I wouldnt even want to steal his bike, I would just want to do this tackle maneuver to perfection. This is my Jack Handey moment.

I don't know what's going on with the karma gods, but they are definitely sending me messages here recently. Yesterday, my intern, me, and three other co-workers were sitting in my office talking about siblings. When I mentioned that I had a younger brother, my intern mentioned to me and everyone else in the room, that he could see me being an older brother, because I had been so important to him. Then he proceeded to tell everyone that I was hard on him, but he appreciated it, because he learned some things that he could apply when he went back to college in a few weeks. Everybody in the room let out a collective, "Awww", and if I was a sensitive brother(read: ghey) I would have shed a tear, but instead I just nodded in his direction and kept it moving. Its nice to know that he views my treatment of him as brotherly, and not hazing, but its also a bit disconcerting that I haven't broken down his spirit enough, so I'll need to double my efforts just a bit.

And in the Rashad's-going-to-hell-series part 4080...yesterday, I called my grandmother and talked to her for about 45 minutes. In the 24th minute of the 45 minute conversation I stopped off at the drug store and attempted to purchase some jimmy hats(late 80s/early 90s term for condoms). I walked up and down the aisles, and I didnt find any condoms, so I headed to the pharmacy section and asked the lady at the counter, who politely informed me that all condoms were kept behind the counter, since they previously had problems with condom theft. I didnt tell my grandma to hold on at all while she was talking, I just put the phone in my pocket, while having the discussion with the pharmacist. At one point my grandma asked me what I was doing, and I said I was in the drugstore, and she just said, "oh" and kept it moving. I felt a small bit of guilt, because at the time my grandma was discussing David in the Bible, but deep down I know that she would appreciate the fact that 1) Someone was even giving me some trim and 2)That I was engaging in safe sex.

And speaking of condoms, stealing them is an interesting, but sad crime. You have to applaud the individual for being so adamant against unprotected sex, that he would use guerrilla tactics just to obtain condoms. But on the flipside, if you can't afford to buy some condoms, it seems to me that you don't even deserve to get any at all..and if the woman knew you were stealing, seems to me that she would revoke all of your sex privileges..

A Shade of Blue - Incognito

11 comments:

Sha said...

jimmy hats?...yeah u're old.

Michell said...

LOL

Bashful said...

ROFL! This whole entry was off the chain!

Jamal said...

That third paragraph gets you a nice seat in hell....LOL

hadassah444 said...

excellent...
the tackle, the intern, grandma, the jimmy hats, loved it!!!

tia said...

*ahem*...TOLD YOU!

maxwellsmusze said...

okay. now THAT was pee your pants funny!

Wynter said...

um um um that was great

lex said...

i dont

lex said...

i don't even know where to start with this one...

spirit breaking, grandma gambits AND condom capers...A+

LittleTortilla stays in DC said...

Just a lil info:

On the real, people steal condoms because they are ashamed to actually make the purchase. Asking the clerk makes it even more embarrasing. There is a group who is working to "unlock the condoms"

http://studentorgs.gwu.edu/phsa/savelives/