Thursday, May 07, 2009

Someone who has less time on their hands than I do, needs to start a website entitled, "They Didn't Wash Their Hands". There can be a few people in charge of this site, and their job is to accept the thousands of profile-style pictures of people who neglected to wash their hands after a trip to the bathroom. I'm sure this site would be slow to get off the ground initially, but with the swine flu pandemic upon us, and others like it surely to surface sometime down the road, it would pick up steam eventually. Soon sponsors like the CDC , Purell, Jergens and wet-nap, would join the fray. And who knows maybe an athlete who can't get any other endorsement like say..a Ron Artest who be the spokesperson.

I bring this up, because I witnessed something that was simply disgusting this morning. Since I walk to work every morning, I tend to break a bit of a sweat by the time arrive. So I go to the bathroom, wipe my forehead, fix my clothes, smooth my eyebrows, and make sure I look semi-presentable. As I was doing that today, I heard grunts, heavy breathing and other ungodly sounds coming out of the stall. Sure I was grossed out and frantically trying to cut short my grooming session, but hey its bathroom, what did I expect right?

About 30-45 seconds later, this assclown flushes, opens the stall, comes to the mirror to do some grooming of his own(which included hand to face contact), says good morning to me, grabs the door handle, and then walks out of the door. No soap, no water, no hand towel, no steam, no nothing ever made contact with his tainted hands. I walk out of the restroom, and the FedEx guy is there at his office, and they shake hands, and at that point, I am so happy that I have yet to eat breakfast. Seriously dude? That's how you're rolling? Blow up the bathroom, and then shun any semblance of a cleaning agent? You're a class act. Next time I think I'll say something like, "So you're not going to wash your hands, that's how you feel right now?" or something to that effect. The you're-just-going-to-leave-that-booger-on-your-jacket scene from The Golden Child comes to mind...i'm rambling


Miss. Lady said...

Or... you can start a service where one can anonymously send soap and wipes to the offender with a note telling them they are nasty and need to use the contents in the package to prevent from spreading illness...because their azz is nasty.

£ said...

did our forefathers invent indoor plumbing for nothing? my gag reflex is at defcon 5.

so what kills me is that dude knows you saw him not wash his hands and didn't care. he should be ashamed of himself. but im sure in his warped mind there was a perfectly acceptable reason for the spigot bypass. i swear some people act as if they were raised by wolves.

and women aren't any better. boy do i have stories.

anyway reading all this makes me want to take a scalding bath in phisohex with a bleach poultice as a chaser.

Janelle said...

ewwww that is just nasty. JuST NASTY!!!! I hope you don't ever have to work with this person or accept paperwork from this person. You should just start a wall of shame at work where people can post pics of folks who commit such atrocities. Damn, that just turned my stomach.
But Lex is right, women do some frightful things in the ladies' room. And people wonder why I have a slight phobia of public bathrooms. YUCK!

Jazzbrew said...

Sad to say I was JUST telling someone a similar story but the cat who did it actually works in my department. Because of that I make a point to NEVER dig into a box of cookies or donuts if I'm not the first on the scene.

I mean is that dirt under your fingernails homey or....