Friday, August 28, 2009

So in my ongoing effort to stay in shape via fun and interesting activities, I officially decided to take up yoga. I actually made this decision while I was on vacation, and temporarily forgot about it until Wednesday afternoon. On Wednesday, while I was walking back into my building, a woman from the yoga spa two doors down from my job came up to me with a brochure. She explained to me all the dazzling things they did at her yoga spa, and she encouraged me to come in for a consultation. Now I had been blowing off and ignoring the people who worked for her spa for quite some time, because 1)they would bother me early in the morning, while I was en route to work and 2)they just came off as creepy cult members. I want no parts of that.

But on this day, I was just as chatty as she was. I explained to her that I was ready to take that leap into yoga, but I was concerned about finding the time, being the only man in the class, and contorting my body into highly sexual positions. She assured me it would be a positive experience, and I had nothing to worry about. She took my name and number, and I got her name (Lauren) and the brochure she was handing out. We made an appointment for Thursday at noon, and everything seemed ok.

Unfortunately for me, I forgot about the appointment, and then I realized I had a prior obligation at noon. I went swimming that morning, and around 11, I realized there was going to be yoga appointment, so I called Lauren and told her I needed to reschedule. She sounded disappointed, but I reminded her that I worked right next door, and this is no way was a blow off. I told her I would call next week to reschedule, and she said she had plenty of available appointments. She said, I'll hear from you next week, and I said cool. This was around 11am.

At 2pm Lauren called me again, and said she had some Thursday appointments free, and I re-explained to her, that I'd rather do it next week, when my schedule had a little more maneuverability, and she said she understood. At this point I was a little alarmed, but I figured she was trying to be thorough. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

At 5:30pm, Lauren called again (I missed her call and it went to my voicemail) and said her Friday was completely open, and if I was interested in coming in, I should just give her a call on her cell phone before 9pm. I looked at the phone and said aloud, "Are you f**king kidding me?". Not only was Lauren not listening (isn't that a yoga principle or something?), but now she was making it difficult for me to even consider joining her yoga spa, because she was pulling a Glenn Close on me before I even joined. Still, I decided I would ignore this call, and any others that came this week, and call next week. She could start fresh, I could still get a consultation, everyone wins.

This morning I come into work almost 90 minutes early to get a jump start on things, and guess who I see? Lauren. Because I had my headphones on, I didn't even realize she was behind me, but she came up to me, touched my shoulder, and was like HEYYY Rashad. I turned around, and I know my facial expression was one of terror, but I just smiled and said hello Lauren. The following conversation went down:

Lauren: So are normally at work this early?
Me: No, I'm just to get a jump start on some things
Lauren: Cool beans. Do you want to come in the yoga spa later today?
Me: Nope, next week is still my preference
Lauren: You aren't getting cold feet are you?
Me: Not at all, I just have less conflicts next week. Are you always this persistent?
Lauren (with a confused look): What do you mean?
Me: Never mind
Lauren (touching my forearm): We just don't get a lot of guys in the spa. They show interest then leave, and I don't want you to do the same
Me: (moving back a bit so her arm and my forearm detach): Well I'm a man of my word Lauren, I'll see you next week.
Lauren: You have my contact info right?

I didn't answer that last question, I just put gave her the thumbs up and walked away from her. Now, I know I'm extra sensitive to these types of things, but I think I detected some creepy behavior. Am I wrong here?

Newness - Musiq


spirit_55 said...

LOL! Ummm.... Rashad, be afraid, be very, very afraid!

Go with your gut on this one, but Lauren sounds like a stalker to me.

Sab D said...

No comment on Lauren - but I'm cracking up about her.

Do the Yoga. I never did it with swimming, but I've taken the class three times - loved it. I was the only guy to finish the class sessions (other dudes would drop out after 2 or so classes). Super workout, I actually felt taller.

The old ladies would laugh as I attempted to do some of the postures - I mean how often can they be better than a young guy in an athletic feat, so they got their kicks in.

Once we were meditating - it got good to me and I fell asleep. Class was dismissed folks was going home & I was laid out with my legs going up the wall. Needless to say that was the running joke. But I enjoyed it.

One thing though - I know I'm married & you're in a relationship and all that - but I wish I had taken it in the city. The "scenery" would have been better in class. I was there with basket weavers, quilt makers and soccer moms - so there were no distractions for me.

But holla at the yoga, man

....: blue :.... said...

Oh my. I'm afraid Lauren just might be waiting for you every day before work to see when you pass by so she can ask you again. She scares me.