Monday, October 15, 2007

There is a woman who works with me, who takes at least 15 minutes out of my day to tell me about her life. There are times when I see her walk by, and I intentionally try to avoid eye contact, because I know I'm about to be held hostage. Her topics include: her husband, her alma mater, her kids, sports, her girlfriends, and many many more. I usually end up making facial expresssions, and saying things, "for real", "are you serious?", "seriously?" and "I told you that bitch crazy". She is loud, borderline inappropriate, and she basically violates everything I stand for in terms of work decorum. But just now, she took her talents to another level, and I have to give her a new title: Trash Analyst. As she left my office she peeked in my trash can, saw a starbucks cup in there, and said, "Oh I see you had Starbucks today". I really should have emptied my trash right there on the floor, so I could really maximize her talents. But she kept it up by asking if I drank coffee or tea, and I told her apple cider, and then she asked me how it tastes, and I just felt myself getting angrier. If it wasn't for one of the cleaning people coming in my office, I would still be held hostage. It got so bad one day, that I emailed my ladyfriend, and told her to call me, so I could be freed from the wrath of the trash analyst. People like that should be fined for each minute they sit in my face. How am I supposed to save the world here at my job, if I have to deal with bs like that.

Sweetest Somebody I Know - Stevie Wonder

5 comments:

Bashful said...

ROFL! I am dying!@ "I told you that bitch was crazy." The perfect start to my day.

Sha said...

Since you wear your awkwardness like a badge of honor, i think people like messing with you because they know deep down inside it irks you.

nickels said...

omg. i think we are anti-social fraternal twins separated by birth, location, and years.

Miss Black River said...

After reading that I have a new appreciation for my co-workers. We're friendly, but not all-in-your-trash-friendly. Y'all need a psych nurse on staff!

lex said...

um thats a little creepy

reminds me of the time the weirdo flirtatious janitor collected my trash, peeked in at the contents and then said "next time you go to marathon grill...let me know, im gonna take you out to lunch."

i never went there again.