Saturday, September 06, 2008

I woke early this morning to find out whether my flag football game was cancelled due to Tropical Storm Hanna, and indeed it was. I immediately tried to go back to sleep, but I was way too spry, so the next logical move was for me to trek to the store to get some breakfast items.

My first stop was Starbucks, where I was on a mission to purchase some breakfast sandwiches for my lady and me. There was one woman in front of me who was paying for her food, when one of the clerks asked me what I wanted to eat. I walked in front of the lady, and proceeded to order food, when the clerk told me that I probably wanted to keep my place in line, instead of coming over to where he was. I agreed, and after my order, I went back to my place in the line where the lady was still finalizing her transaction. The following conversation ensued:

lady: Don't let that man intimidate you, he only works at Starbucks
me: *says nothing*
lady: is he bothering you?
me: *shakes my head no*
lady: I can beat him up for you if you want
me: *says nothing still*

Now clearly this woman and the Starbucks employee knew each other, and thought this shit was cute, but I was not at all amused. It was barely 9am, I was soaking wet from the rain, and prior to this woman causing all this noise, it was nice and placid in the Starbucks. When I went over to pay for my food, I jokingly asked the cashier if he and his co-workers could tone down the intimidation a bit the next time I came in their store. They fell out laughing, and the lady gave me a dirty look.

Two minutes later as I picked up my now heated sandwiches, the lady came back over to me and said that if she were black, she would really have caused a fuss in the restaurant. Considering this lady was already black, I assumed that she was trying to make a joke, but not only did I not get it, but it wasn't funny. Maybe she was flirting or something, but I just was not in the mood for her shenanigans. Plus she had on a dirty baseball cap (a pet peeve of mine for men and especially women), and when you couple that with her bad joke, it just was not a good look on her. I gave her the mean Ice Cube look and carried my ass to the grocery store.

Now once I entered the grocery store, the natural chip that already resides on my shoulder had ballooned, so at this point I was ripe for a confrontation. I got some orange juice and some water, and I headed to the checkout area. Right before I got there, one of the employees informed me that the water bottle I had chosen was leaky. As soon as she said that, one of the other male employees loudly sucked his teeth but I ignored it. As I got ready to hand the leaky bottle to the female employee, I dropped the orange juice, and that too spilled a bit. The male employee then turned his head and said "dumbass" loud enough for me to hear. I ignored it and went to get replacement bottles of both juice and water.

With my new bottles in tow, I proceeded to pay for my items, and I noticed the male employee had wandered his ass back into my field of sight, and the following conversation went down:

Me: Did you see say something earlier?
Him: Nah man I ain't say shit
Me: Yeah you called me a dumbass
Him : Nah man
Me: How about in the future, you just shut the hell up and clean up the messes I make instead of commenting on them
Him: (visibly angry now): Man you dont know me like slim
Me: Yeah I think i do now
Cashier: Whoa fellas that's enough, sir, we don't want to cause a scene
Me: His dumbass should have thought of that before he opened his mouth

I wrapped up my payment, and I attempted to leave, but this male employee acted like he was going to block me from leaving for a few seconds. I stood there with my Starbucks and my grocery bag, and he stood there empty handed. He could have easily thrown about 2 or 3 hard punches my way before I put my bags down if he wanted, but he chose to stand over me huffing and puffing. I then asked him if he was going to let me out, or did I need to spill more shit to get his attention. He chuckled and reluctantly got out of my way, then proceeded to stare at me through the window when I left (although I stared at him right back).

I am way too old for that type of behavior I know, but how many of you would let a GROCERY STORE employee call you a dumbass without reacting?


Anonymous said...

While I was reading this entry I could hear Samuel L. Jackson's voice.

Miss. Lady said...

OMG! You are crazy! I cannot stop laughing. Did you have a morning? Or, did you have a morning?

Seriously though dude would have caught the business as soon as I heard the comment come out of his mouth... oh some one would have been unemployed that day fooling with me.

MNomGirl said...

These kinds of things happen to you alot. Did you ever consider that perhaps you may be attracting these negative people because of your attitude and the self professed 'chip on your shoulder'? It's karma. Just a thought...

rashad said...

of course these things happen because of the chip on my shoulder, but I give my immaturity a great deal of credit too. still, there's a line i've yet to cross though, and until that magical day, i can write about these things in semi-jest.

JazzBrew said...

I'm Mr. Nice Guy and no way would I let that comment go without poppin sh*t right back. You handled yourself well. Your parting shot to him was so good even *HE* had to laugh at it.

£ex said...

um Rashad you're a family man and you can't go around letting yourself be provoked by these brutes! Next time wish the little idiot(s) a blessed day or something like that. You know, fight fire with some good old CO2.


ok ok that was a little lame but i was watching ghandi earlier